Saturday, August 15, 2009

Author T. Sue Versteeg

Winners! Winners! Winners!
I was dying of laughter reading all the great (or terrible) pick-up lines. But the winners are…
Print copy of Another Time, Another Place – MsHellion
T. Sue Versteeg ebook of winner’s choice - Becca Simone
Her line in T. Sue Versteeg’s next book – Inez Kelley

Ladies, email me at gemmahalliday (at) gmail (dot) com for your prizes. Congrats!


Please join me in welcoming super cool author, T. Sue Versteeg! She writes super fun romance books for The Wild Rose Press, and I completely covet her cute tagline: Romance Escape Artist. Because, who doesn't want to escape into a romance, right?

First off, I just have to say how big of a fan (borderline stalker) I am of Gemma Halliday.


Gemma is who I want to be when I grow up as a writer. There, I said it. Thank you for allowing me a bit of a fan-girl moment.

Second, this just so happens to be my baby boy’s 21st birthday, so please join me in a drink or three for CJ! Happy birthday and Momma loves you. Wow, I can hear him groaning from cyberspace. Okay, I think I’ve sufficiently embarrassed him.

Now let’s have some fun!

I know cheesy pick-up lines have been blogged many times before, so I’m putting a spin on that. I’d love to hear about some of the quirky and fun come back lines you all have used, or at least felt like using. I’ll start the ball rolling with my favorite work of drunken genius so you can get a feel for what I’m talking about.

Let me set the scene for you first: Ladies night at my favorite hang out, complete with loud music and lots of cheap booze. I’m out with two of my best friends and we’ve pretty much cleaned out the bar’s supply of Apple Pucker and Jell-o shots. A gentleman--wearing a t-shirt with the sleeves haphazardly cut off, hat hair with no hat in sight, complete with a big wad of chewing tobacco tucked in his lip--taps me on the shoulder. I spun around on my chair and stared directly into what I’m sure he considered his best impression of bedroom eyes. Meanwhile, the bar is still spinning and coming to a stop behind him in my head.

He finally speaks after spitting in his cup. (FYI: yes, I believe I recall fighting back vomit there.) “Did you feel that magnetic attraction drawing me across the room to you?”

This is where I would normally swoon and give him a cute girly giggle, regardless of how awful the line was—if I were the slightest bit interested. Not so much this time. I know you are all stunned. At this point my friends were perched on the edge of their seats and practically leaning over me to listen in.

I released a heady sigh and ran my hand down his arm. “Does this mean if I turn back around, it will propel you back across the room?” For those of you who’ve never played with magnets, when you turn one of them around, the other one scoots away.

What can I say? I come from a long line of smart-asses. I’m happy to report that he took my snarkiness in stride and I was referred to as the fiery redhead for the rest of the evening.

So, it’s your turn. Tell me about your shining moment in the world of bad pick up lines. If you haven’t had the luck, or bad luck as it may be, to endure a cheesy come on, tell me what you’d like to say back to some of the really bad lines you’ve heard from others. I’ll give away one print copy of Another Time, Another Place and one e-book of the winner’s choice to two of the best posts. Plus, I will use the winning comeback line (with a special thank you to the winner in the acknowledgements) in my WIP. Lay ‘em on me!

T. Sue Versteeg


Leigh Royals said...

Well, beware of sales clerks...I have used this line (to my benefit) and reenacted it in chapter one of my contemporary: "Can I help you with your pants?"

Ok. it made sense at the time

Jennifer Leeland said...

LOL! Leigh! The one I'll mention wasn't even said to me. Most men don't give me pick up lines. I've always been the girl you take home to mother. *snirk*.
But my best friend heard this one.
"Do they miss you?"
My friend frown, puzzled. "Who?"
"Heaven. Cause yer an angel."
Yes, he was very, very drunk.

Inez Kelley said...

True story #1-
Him: Wow, you're eyes are beautiful. It's like they're looking right into my soul.

ME: (run gaze from his toe to forehead)Yeah and you need to go to church and confess that goat thing.
(Walk away)

True story #2-

Him:(smiles are a few minutes of eye contact)

Me: (Walks over, scoops cherry out of glass, plops it in his beer) So, you've got my cherry. See anything else you'd like?


Refhater said...

I don't get many pick up lines, though I do get alot of guys who "accidently" bump into me to try to get a conversation started. I'm starting think I should start tripping the guys I want to talk to.

The best line I ever got was "I give you my shirt." (My girlfriends and I were talking about how we wanted a shirt like the bartender was wearing.) My response was "No thanks, I saw that shirt in the ladies department at JC Pennys and it was on sale. I didn't buy it then and I don't want it now."

Jane said...

This was used on my friend. "I'm like American Express, don't go home without me." She didn't go for it, but it was pretty funny to me.

Mary Ricksen said...

My sister and I were at Macy's when a lady came up to her and complained about her autistic daughter humming. Now since humming is a mild thing, I got ticked. And asked her if she ever thought before she opened her pie hole. (I know, I'm bad), so she said "Well I never." And gave me a face. Next to my sister a young man spoke up. "Well, now you have!" He told her. She walked away angry and I loved it.

Christie Craig said...

I'm loving these lines!!!

Thanks so much for coming to play with us at Killer Fiction.


Becca Simone said...

The funniest pickup line ever used on me was, "Wanna go halves on a baby with me?" My reply: I handed him a coin and said, "No, but here's a quarter if you go away."

Mary, I love that the young man stood up for you. :) I bet that lady will never, ever forget that moment.


Becca Simone said...

I just signed my post "Beccay". Hmm. I guess that's a cross between my real name (Becky) and my pen name (Becca).


T. Sue VerSteeg said...

OMG, you guys are killing me! Sorry I've been sporadic today, but we had my mother's birthday two days ago, my baby's birthday is today and the folk's anniversary is in two days. BUSY WEEKEND. Keep 'em coming! :)

RKCharron said...

Hi :)
Thanks for having T. Sue Versteeg on your blog and thank you Sue for sharing.
I am loving the pick up lines in the comments.
Congrats on the many birthdays and events for you, Sue.
True overheard conversation at bar:
Him: Walks up to girl at table with her friends.
(He is model-good-looking & it is close to closing time)
Him: Hi.
Her: Smiles as she looks him over.
Him: Wanna go to my place
Her: Sure
I think that pick up line only works if you`re as good looking as George Clooney, etc.
All the best,
twitter: RKCharron

MsHellion said...

The best line I ever heard--from my friend Mac (and we were just friends so he was only sharing to be funny)--was:

Mac: *walking past me, pausing, then looking at me with soulful eyes* Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to walk past again?

So then I gave him my favorite pick up line. I licked my finger, touched his shirt, then mine and said, "How about you and me going back to my place and getting out of these wet clothes?"

However in real life, I don't get pick up lines. Men just don't bother. I'm generally known as a fiery redhead. If a man asked me how I liked my eggs in the morning, my response would be: "Unfertilized."

The only real story I have is a guy from my history class who used to pursue me, if you want to call it that, and he was about as charming as the guy you describe in your blog. He'd been missing a few days from class--the BEST days I'll have you note--and when he returned, he sat down beside me and said, "Hey! You missed me?" and I didn't lift my gaze from teh book I was reading, but replied, "Like a dose of the clap."

Chelsea B said...

Oh gosh, one time me and my friends were at this bar, and this guy walks up, stares strait at my chest, and says: "You have beautiful eyes."

My friends cracked up, but the noise didn't seem to distract him.

So I shrugged at them with a grin- I'm one of those people who find humor in everything- lifted his chin so his eyes met mine and said, "Thanks. But the ones up here are even better."

I was so proud of my drunken' self LOL. Usually, I can only think of comebacks LATER!!

T. Sue VerSteeg said...

I love the Unfertilized comeback! OMG! That is a keeper for sure :)
I am amazed at all of the good lines you guys. I bow to your LOL

L.K. Campbell said...

A married guy tried to pick me up once. When I turned him down he said, "I might be married, but I'm not dead." I replied, "You are as far as I'm concerned."

Maria Night said...

OMGoodness!! These lines are super funny!! (Sorry I'm coming into this a day late!!!) I just wanted to stop by and say great blog! WTG T Sue! Miss Hellion" "unfertilized!" that was priceless! :D