Friday, December 12, 2008

Party at Mr. Big’s

Last weekend Mr. Big threw a huge Christmas party at his house. We’re talking 150 guests, tents outside, outdoor heater, caterers, a bar set up in every room of the house. It was big. Massively big. And full of people.

Women people.

Scantily clad women people.

Now, I’ve known from the very beginning that Mr. Big was a party boy. He likes to go out, have a good time, has tons of friends. Many of them, apparently, girls. I busted up laughing one day when I one day stumbled up on his MySpace page. Remember that I met him on an online dating site? Well, every photo of him he had posted on the dating site, he had the original of on his MySpace. And by original, I mean non-cropped version. In the originals, there were different girls hanging on him in every photograph. He’d cropped them out to post on the dating site. Clever boy. But, looking at the pictures on his MySpace, I have to admit, they tickled my jealous bone a little. Especially the ones from last year’s Christmas party where the theme was apparently lingerie, as there were photos of him in boxers with some nearly nude blonde’s legs wrapped around him.

I hate Nearly Nude Blonde.

Okay, back to this year’s Christmas party. Big told me it was a ties and cocktail dresses event. However, it’s December. So, I picked this long-sleeve sweater mini dress, tights, and a pair of killer high-heeled boots. I figure dressy, but I won’t freeze my nuggets off. I get to the party, and, by the fact that I have to park a block away, I see it’s already in full swing. I go in, find Big, who, by the way look incredibly hot in his suit and tie, and we start to mingle. Or rather, he starts to mingle. On our way from one end of the house to the other he is stopped by no less than five girls. Dressed in just-below-the-booty, sleeveless, cleavage-baring, neckline-plunging-I-kid-you-not-to-the-belly-button little scraps of fabric. All of them model-thin, wearing more eyeliner than Marylyn Manson. Who all scream his name, throw their arms around him, and kiss him. One even grabbed his butt.

Picture me standing there, now feeling about as covered up as a nun at a porn convention, holding out my hand saying, “Hi, nice to meet you. I’m chopped liver.” The only consolation – all the girls are accessorizing their screw-me stilettos with goose bumps. They’re hovering near the heaters, cowering next the fireplace. I may be a nun, but I am the only one not risking frostbite. Point for me. (I think…)
(Oh, and guess who else was there? Yep. Nearly Nude Blonde. Thank the gods, she was there with a new guy this year, but I still paused to silently hate her a little. Hey, I’m only human.)

So, I make it through the room without clawing anyone’s eyes out (which is a sure sign I should be up for a Nobel Peace Prize), and Mr. Big pours me a drink. Incidentally, there are drinks everywhere. A bar set up in every room. A bathtub full of beers on the lawn. A shot luge. (What’s that you ask? Yeah, I did too. See explanation here. I starred at the 300 pound block of ice so long that some kind person took pity and explained it to me.) Huge tubes dispensing some kind of punch. Beer pong set up in an empty bedroom. The numbers of local taxi companies pasted to the front door. It’s a serious party.

But, to Big’s credit, he sticks by my side the entire night, ignoring every other girl there. What’s better? I meet his co-workers. Which is cute that he wants to introduce them to me, but the really cute thing is that they proceed to tell me how he talks about me all the time at work, how they’ve been dying to meet me. After one of them visited the luge, he even let spill that, “This guy is so in love with you!” Were it not for the vodka breath and drunken slur, that would have been a total “Awwwwww!” moment.

However, meeting his friends also had another side effect. I got to know a whole new side of Mr. Big. Friend number one: “Aren’t you freaked that Big is moving to a new place in a couple weeks?”

Me: “Um… should I be?”

Friend: “Dude! He’s gonna be within walking distance from downtown. Doesn’t that worry you?”

Me: “Uh… no? Should it?”

Friend: “Okay, if I were gay, and I was dating Big, I would totally be worried. That guy’s a total player. You should be worried.”

Thanks. I am now.

As if that wasn’t fun enough, I had at least three other friends come up and tell me stories about Big that were… illuminating… to say the least.

Honestly, despite the girl friends who forgot to put on all their clothes, I trust the guy. But, as the night wore on, I realized that I really don’t know as much about Big as I thought I did. I mean, things I really should know. Mr. Big and I have been dating six months now, which, by my standards, is past the getting-to-know-you stage and into the are-we-getting-serious?-‘cause-it-feels-like-we’re-getting-serious stage.

So, I need your help, gals. What do you do if you’re in the serious stage and realize you really haven’t gotten to know each other yet?

~Trigger Happy Halliday


Lucy said...

I wrote this long response and blogger ate it!!!

Basically I said you just have to trust him. Who knows why the one person said the stuff about him being a player. Maybe he's just jealous of Big's girlfriend. Bottom line is that he's with you now and his past doesn't mean he's that way now. You're his present and possibly his future. As for learning new things about him, I would think you would get bored if you knew everything about him. If you're worried about how "little" you know about him though, you could jokingly bring up that you'd heard some things at the party that you didn't know and it might open the door to have a talk about other things. Guys tend to not talk about things they don't think is important so because you learned some "illuminating" things doesn't mean he was necessarily hiding them or being secretive, he just may not have thought they were important.

Keri Ford said...

Hm. My first question is to ask, what does Big do for a living? I’m thinking something socially active. Something that people expect him to be BIG and an entertainer in the group. If so, then be prepared for the man to have two sides.

The ‘On’ guy and the ‘Real’ guy.

On guy entertains. He’s social. He’s crowd pleaser. He’s the life of the party as everyone expects him to be. He probably didn’t come by this role on purpose. More likely he started a new job, knew no one and so unbeknownst to his mind, he decided to play it cool. Now that side of him gets On when he’s in that position. (like Old Scientist’s dog and the bell)

Real guy is the man you get and know. The one who can crash on the couch in his pajama pants and silently watch a movie while he simply relaxes. The one who sees a purse and buys it for you. The one who keeps you at his side even though there are woman dangling their crotch at every turn. The side that his friends know NOTHING about.

Also, where did he live before? In the middle of freakin’ no where and had to walk to work, uphill-both ways? If dude’s into action on the side, where he lives isn’t going to make a difference.

Gotta have faith girl. It sucks that you now have little nuggets of doubt thanks to this asshole of a friend he’s got. If you’ve trusted him so far, there’s no reason to not continue to trust him.

And hey, if you want to have fun and remind him of you when you’re not around, send him a picture of some new undies on his/yours bedspread to his work!

Unknown said...

I was thinking along the same lines. I have been married for 8 years on Wednesday and I am always learning new things about my husband!! I think if you were introduced to all his friends and they all say he talks about you all time, it means something. We all have to have faith in our partner that they won't stray and thats really all you can do. I do agree with the joking comment and see if it starts a conversation.
Cood luch and Happy Holidays!!!

Unknown said...

um... how about Good Luck

Anonymous said...

How did he introduce you to people at the party? If he's showing you off as his girlfriend to everyone at the party--including all the Nearly Nudes--I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Gemma Halliday said...

Aww... thanks ladies! I knew I could count on you to talk me down off a ledge. :)

Yeah, despite the Nearly Nudes, I do trust him. He strikes me as a genuinely honest guy. I guess I just started worrying that I didn't know him as well as I thought I did. I hate that feeling. But if a joke about the illuminating stuff could open up a little chat, I think that would be a good thing!


Gemma Halliday said...

My first question is to ask, what does Big do for a living?

He's in real estate, so , yeah, he's very social. Plus, I think that's just part of his personality - he's a very social guy with a lot of friends.

The irony is the one time I brought him to meet on of my friends (male), he was practically radiating jealousy.


Gemma Halliday said...

Christina - Happy anniversary Wednesday!

I agree, I don't need to know everything about Big up front. But when strangers are asking me questions about Big that I can't answer at our first meet... well, these were things I realized I should know but had no clue. *shrug* Guess I'll find out eventually, huh?


Terri Osburn said...

This situation sounds more complicated than some because of his extensive *network* we'll call it. This isn't the guy with three buddies he plays poker with who visits his mom every Sunday. This dude lives it up. Or so it sounds.

BUT, the fact he stuck to you all night I find very encouraging. So this particular situation takes a year to get to know what you might know in six months with another guy. That's not the end of the world if you're willing to invest the time. And Big sounds like he's worth the investment.

I do think more questions are in order. Subtle so as not to make him feel interrogated. But questions all the same. Even if it's one a week, out of no where, painted in a teasing joke. You've got some blanks you need filled in and he's the only one who can do that for you.

I should state here I know very little of what I'm talking about. LOL! My guy just had a freak out at the three month mark. We're working on it but I sure wish he'd stop freaking himself out. It's damn annoying!

Gemma Halliday said...

Aww, Terrio, sorry about the freak out! Hope he comes to his senses. These first few months are a roller coaster, aren't they?


Terri Osburn said...

Gemma - It's been years since I got past three dates nevermind three months. LOL! Now I'm remember why!

Forgot to mention, I put on out company holiday party and it includes an ice sculpture. Every year someone asks me if we're getting the luge. LOL! We never will as it's pretty formal, but I've seen the pictures of them and some are pretty cool.

Christie Craig said...

Ahh Gemma,

Reading this post makes me glad I got my hubby and don't have to go though the doubts. But girl, if anyone can figure this out, it is you.

Hang in there, don't give up in him, but be cautious. Don't be saying, "Stick a fork in it, it's done" until you know for sure. In other words, don't fork a relationship until you know you have forking reasons.


Gemma Halliday said...

don't fork a relationship until you know you have forking reasons.

This is awesome. I'm sharing it with all my single friends. Lol!

Crystal Jordan said...

I hate Nearly Nude Blonde on your behalf. Just sayin'

Anonymous said...

damn, I just realized I created an account, and can't remember any of the details.
Anyways, sounds like a majorly fun party, Sweets, and BIG scored major points by keeping by your side and being so 'aawwww' re: you with his friends and co-workers. And now you have some fun conversation starters and great teasing material.
Joking is a good suggestion to bring them up, and also if anything reminds you of some crazy/fun time in your life, you can share together!
Don't worry your pretty little head, Gemma dear, it's obvious BIG prefers your type of blonde.
BTW, that is SO awesome that he got the shot luge. I'm pretty sure I've only seen that on Platinum Weddings!