Monday, December 15, 2008

Here's Your Sign

Any of you ever seen the Blue-Collar Comedy Tour? One of the comedians has this saying he uses when someone says/does something incredibly stupid - "here's your sign." I personally imagine the sign as a big white board that hangs around your neck by thick yarn and has the word "Dumba$$" on it. But you are free to make your own sign.

Well, Friday one of those "here's your sign" moments happened ON me, and I thought I would share.

I car-pool with a coworker who lives 10 miles into my drive to work (30 miles total), so I headed out to meet her (it was her day to complete the drive in) and since I arrived early, I pulled into the gas station to get a coffee and a snack.

Well, the guy behind the counter, who had just rang up my order, hands me my bag after paying and doesn't even bother to see the extra-large coffee that he'd just totaled and he hit it with the bag. Of course, the coffee did one of those physically impossible moves and managed to turn over and send a single stream of coffee that showered my from the chest down. Not one drop was left in the cup.

Now first off, thank God I was wearing blue jeans or this probably would have hurt! Unfortunately, it was enough of a dousing that it sank right through the blue jeans and since I'd bought caramel pecan coffee, it was sticky! The entire store had gone quiet, kinda like those slow-motion moments in the movies where even the machines stop running, but then the manager grabbed a mop and started cleaning the floor. Not one of the idiots bothered to offer to get ME another coffee since I didn't exactly have one any more and I'd already paid for it.

So I asked idiot boy for my bag, refilled my coffee, and got in my car to make the 10-mile drive back home. I had to put my jeans and (used-to-be) white tennis shoes to soak, and then take another shower to get the sticky off. Of course, that was my last clean pair of jeans (as it was laundry weekend) so then the digging in the closet for clothes insued.

I'd already called my co-worker and told her to head on without me AND tell our boss that I would be a little late if she wanted me clean and not angry all day. I swear, there are some days you just shouldn't get out of bed.

I'm still rather put out that no one - and I mean no one - EVER offered me an apology. I know they were all horrified and probably scared of being sued, but come on?????? What the heck happened to manners?

The really interesting thing about this to me is that I am 41 years old and something like that has never happened to me before. I mean it - not one time in 41 years has anyone spilled a drink on me. Is that some kind of record?

Deadly (not-Decaffeinated) DeLeon


Christie Craig said...


I've had days like that. Days with signs. Most of those signs seem to say, "Go back to bed. It's gonna be a head-banger of a day!"

Anyway, I'm glad you got cleaned up. Sorry no apology was issued. I think it was in order. But I think you are right. Some people think saying I'm sorry is admitting guilt and makes them responsible. I personally think it's just manners.


Terri Osburn said...

I've had things spilled on me more times than I can count. Soda. Water. Beer. More beer. LOL! I'm amazed the first words out of that clerk's mouth were not, "I'm sorry!" That should be a knee-jerk reaction in a situation like that. Who thinks of being libel when they've just poured hot coffee on someone?!

I love the "Here's your sign" stuff. I always want to say it when someone asks a silly question. LIke when I worked in a store called "Everything $9.99." You have no idea how many times people asked how much things cost. *rolls eyes*

Jana DeLeon said...

Christie - I was sorely tempted to just crawl between the covers after my second shower of the day. If it had been cold like today, I might have just done it. :)

Jana DeLeon said...

LOL terrio - I've heard people ask that in the "Everything's a Dollar" store?????

I would have apologized, well, as soon as the horrified look left my face and I found my voice, but then I guess I was raised with some manners.

Gemma Halliday said...

Gack! So sorry that happened, Jana! (See, even I'm apologizing and I had nothing to do with it.)

BTW - I love the Blue Collar Comedy guys! Crack me up so hard. My fav is the bit about how you shoudl marry a smart woman, even is she's horribly ugly. Becuase you can always get plastic surgery or make-over, but there's no cure for stupid. :D


Jana DeLeon said...

LOL Gemma! I remember that one!

I think my favorite story is Ron White's about being arrested in NY. It's absolutely classic.

And thanks for the apology. :)

Anonymous said...

*hugs* You were definitely owed an apology. But it seems good manners are a thing of the past these days.

I've had drinks spilled on me before. Long time ago.

Keri Ford said...

Oh, wow. The first thing out of my mouth would have been, "OMG, are you okay? I am SOOO sorry. Let me get you a towl. Do you want more coffee? How about a complimentary biscuit?"

:O)-I have worked with the public a LONG time.Though I don't recall dumping coffee (or anything for that matter) on anyone

Hope the rest of the day went better for you keri

Jana DeLeon said...

yeah, tori, I'm thinking manners went right out with work ethic and morality. Either that or I'm getting old. :)

Jana DeLeon said...

LOL keri - you would have done better than me. I don't think I could have said that much without passing out from embarrassment. But you're right, if you work with the public for a long time, I guess it ought to become second nature.

catslady said...

If I had done that to someone I still would be apologizing. If it's a place you go to a lot I would be sorely tempted to add with my next order - and please put it in a cup this time!

Jana DeLeon said...

catslady - good idea! Or maybe just a bill for laundry detergent. :)

RM Kahn said...

I had 2 glasses spilled on me in one night at a pizza place. Once by a friend and once by the waitress. I was out with the girl friends that night so much laughter ensued.

In Ireland, I had a flaming drink spilled on me by the horrified waitress. My friend, not missing a beat, reached over smacked the blue flame out on my leg and the table and continued on with his conversation. We did not get a bar bill the entire stay at this place.