Heat Wave

It is hot - I’m talking HOT – in California this week. 104. Seriously. My brain is in a total heat wave fog, every cell focused on just one thing – stay cool. I’ve been spending my days at the pool (yes, ogling the hard bodied lifeguards) and sipping anything with ice and umbrellas in it. So, this blog comes to you poolside today. :)

Despite the heat, I have been continuing on my journey toward finding Mr. Right. I met 13 different guys this week. Yep, 13. Two individual dates, 11 speed dates. This brings my total of different men dated for the year at 38 . K, when I said I’d go through every guy on the west coast to find Mr. Right, I really didn’t mean it literally.

And I have to say, the more dates I go on, the more blasé I’m starting to feel about men in general. I’ll admit, they’re all starting to run together. This week I met a couple of perfectly nice guys, but none of them thrilled me. There wasn’t anything terribly wrong with them. Good jobs, nice homes, pleasant conversation. But I just wasn’t excited. I didn’t go home and check to make sure my cell was on in case they called. I didn’t haunt my email inbox waiting for a note from them. I didn’t even mentally picture what they’d look like in those hot lifeguard shorts. (Sorry, hard to concentrate with cute lifeguards around.) I’m starting to wonder if it’s me, or if I’m just meeting really bland guys. I know, I did say after the Pirate and the Fighter in the Closet that I just wanted to meet a nice normal guy. But, now that I have, I’m realizing that my whole trade-in-the-bad-boys-for-Ward-Cleaver strategy is kind of backfiring. Problem is, I’m just not that into Ward Cleaver.

In light of this, I went online today – onto a new service – to see what was out there. To see if I could find a compromise between Ward Cleaver and pirates that might excite my romantic side while still keeping practical Gemma happy, too. Here are excerpts from some of the profiles I found:

To get things started, you should know that I have a brilliant mind. I have a very large IQ.

(Not to mention ego.)

I'm a good man who is looking for a good woman for a good long term relationship. I'm a good man with good values. I have a lot to offer a good woman. If you're interested feel free to contact me.

(What do you want to bet someone told him to write a ‘good’ profile?)

Looking for a woman who is caring, honest, and secure. And it would be great if she has nice feet. And paints her toenails. Preferably red.

(Hmm. The words “foot” and “fetish” come to mind.)

Communication and intimacy might be considered my forte, but there is much more to discover given a little time. I love doing my personal work, and deeply appreciate the strong souls who'll dance with me in mutual growth.

(I suddenly feel the need to sing Kumbaya while wearing hemp and Birkenstocks.)

No brats need apply here. No drama queens or self-centered valley girls. I am looking for wit, determination, and substance wrapped in a humble shell of sweetness. I have yet to meet my match. You can't handle this.

(I’m laughing too hard to even comment on this one.)

You - Passive Aggressive ? Do you get pissed about stuff and when asked about it say.. "oh.. nothing.. I'm fine" And then just plot about how your going to make the offending parties life as miserable as possible.... EVEN THOUGH THEY JUST ASKED YOU WHATS UP. Type the back button now. I don’t wanna meet ya.

(Gotta love a man who wear his aggression right up front.)

I'm am a fit, stylish, energetic & attractive looking to make a cosmic connection to a groovy gal.

(Far out, man!)

And my favorite… (yes, I kept his original spelling)

Man of few words, Multy dimensional, spritual, keep myself in shape. I am interested in variety of subjects and activitis. Interested in Someone who is original, speaks her heart, being fit is a plus and education makes sense

(Too bad your profile doesn’t.)

Okay, so after much searching I did find two guys with coherent and non-scary profiles to write to. A firefighter (hey, a real life hero!) and a hot Latin guy with really pretty blue eyes. We’ll see if either writes back. I’ll keep you posted. In the meantime… I have another round of frosty drinks to order and there are lifeguards out here who aren’t going to ogle themselves.

~Trigger Happy Halliday