If it Weren't for Bad Luck...

Have you ever been tempted to believe you might be jinxed? That for some reason you’ve become a bull’s eyes for life’s slings and arrows? Gauging from this week’s events, I think I must have done some serious under the ladder walking, had a herd of black cats skitter across my path, and broken a mirror…or two.

Here’s the deal. This is graduation week for my triplets. Yes! I’ve done it! I have managed to get my trio to this auspicious day all by my lonesome. Sorry to burst some folks’ bubbles here, but no villages were involved in raising this trio but rather one hyper vigilant, hyper motivated ex law enforcer type mother. So I’m celebrating too. Maybe more so than the kids are. Well, certainly as much as they are.

Anyway, back to my trials and tribulations. As you may recall, last week I blogged about finishing a recent book. I also mentioned that my daughter had marked said auspicious moment by erping in the bathroom. Well, that started a whole cycle of illness throughout our family unit. Four days later my other daughter caught the bug. And this is no ordinary bug. It’s like the mother of all intestinal viruses. It puts you down for a good three days and while I won’t get graphic here, it comes with all the nastiest stuff you associate with the worst flu ever. And it seems to last forever.

So when my second kid came down with it, I started to get concerned. I had planned my week carefully. Yard work on the weekend. Cleaning the house Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. Menu planning and shopping Thursday. Cooking Friday. Hauling out the patio furniture and setting things up Saturday. And my most important plan? I CANNOT, WILL NOT GET SICK!!!

First came the yard work. I’d had leaves bagged from last year to get rid of, limbs from a seemingly always shedding sycamore tree to haul away, weed pulling and bush trimming. I must admit that when I’m writing, certain things tend not to get done. Weed eating among them. I borrowed my dad’s beater pick up. I spent a day filling it with yard debris. And I mean filling it. By the time I was done I had 30 bags of lawn debris, sticks, and limbs. Time to put the tarp on. Each time I toss the bright blue tarp over the load, the wind blows it off before I can even get one of the tie-downs in place. So, before I could provide the neighbors more entertainment I yell for my son. He comes out and together we manage to get the tarp spread over the load. I end up having to slide completely underneath the truck to find secure places to fasten the tie-downs. I check the load, nod approvingly at the results of my labor, take off and head out to dump the load. And suddenly it’s cyclone time! The wind blows so hard I’m constantly checking the rear view mirror to make sure the tarp is still there. Then I discover a string of motorcycles on my tail and in my mind’s eye I see the tarp blowing off and over the head of the cyclist and him wiping out and the string of cycles behind him going down this way and that giving a whole new meaning to the word ‘roadkill’, so I pull off to let them go around. I ended up doing that three times. I’ve never seen so many motorcycles in my life! And all on my tail. Not surprising, I suppose, given the fact I wasn’t going over 45.

I make it to my destination safe and sound, kiss the ground as I get out of the truck, and realize I’ve left my gloves and long sleeved shirt at home. I swear a little, but remove the tarp and begin to unload the truck. I had put the heavier branches on top of the load and when I went to toss one of the bigger branches off I lost my balance on the tailgate and fell off the truck and into a pile of branches. By the time I finished unloading the truck, I had huge bruises on my legs and my arms looked like a couple of the black cats I mentioned earlier had gone at me like I was freaking catnip. I was dirtier than I’d ever been in my life.

I drove home, showered, and dropped into bed. The next day was cleaning day number one. I could barely get out of bed. I was so sore I had to walk hunched over like an aging dowager with a hump. (Hey. Be nice. I’m not that old.) Undeterred from the tasks at hand I sectioned the house off. I’d get the worst jobs out of the way first. So I tackled the laundry room and the bathrooms first. By the end of the day I felt good about my progress. I was on schedule. On track. Looking good. My son (who had also been spared from the crud) and I exchanged our mutual optimism that we had managed to elude the bug from hell.

Then Tuesday came. And along with it, ‘the crud’. And it’s been worse than I could have imagined. Now I’m not normally a wimp when it comes to being sick. Hey. I gave birth to triplets. I’m no stranger to pain and discomfort. But let me tell you, I wasn’t prepared for how nasty this particular bug is. And how freaking long it lasts. Tuesday I either had my head in a bucket or my fanny on the…Well, you get the point. Every joint and muscle in my body ached. My head hurt so bad I had to keep an ice bag on it to keep from embarrassing myself by abject moaning. And I had to miss my daughter’s final band concert.

By Wednesday the news was no better. My son had also succumbed to the virulent virus. It had become personal. Me? I was determined to tame the beastly bug. I showered and told myself it was a case of mind over matter. I put a load of laundry in the washer and managed to hang it out. And that was all I got done that day. It was back to bed and back to the bucket. And I missed scholarship night.

That was last night. This morning I feel shaky and bleah. I haven’t had a thing to eat for two days, everything I drank was recycled, and I am two days behind on my cleaning. Unlike Gemma who last week blogged poolside looking tanned and cute, I’m propped up in bed with my laptop on my lap, looking like something out of Dawn of the Dead.

As I lie in bed last night unable to sleep only one thought gave me comfort.

At least I finished the damn book!

Have you had any ‘Murphy’s Law’ moments? Times when things went from bad to worse? Strings of bad luck that just wouldn’t end?

If so, let me know. I could use some cheering up.

~Bullet Hole~