Blue Berry or Cherry?

Okay, I’ve been under deadline pressure-the kind where you only allow yourself two potty breaks every five hours. Yeah, I’m holding my bladder to finish scenes, and then one of my good buddies, Francyne, sends me this email questionnaire. Sort of a . . . let’s get know each other better email, with a list of questions.

Now, first of all, Francyne has known me for over 20 years. I didn’t think there was anything she didn’t’ know about me. But then I start reading these questions and well…I’ll admit I’m not sure she does know all this stuff.

But the real question is: Why the heck does she really need to know this? I mean, what does one’s preference of blue berry or cherry tell you about a person? Are blue berry people better people that cherry people?

Nevertheless, Francyne’s email also came with a threat. If I didn’t answer, she was going to do it for me and send it out to everyone we knew and some people I didn’t know.

Now, I usually don’t answer these things, but . . . there was Francyne’s threat.

She doesn’t have a lot of dirt on me, but there was the time we were in the Luby’s Cafeteria in Tomball Texas, and the sheriff came in. He comes storming right to our table, accusing me of being a peeping tom. He’s shaking his handcuffs at me, causing a big scene, and threatening to arrest my butt.

Thing was, the sheriff was good buddies with Francyne’s husband. I figured it out pretty quickly, but to everyone in the cafeteria, I was a two-bit pervert peeping into men’s bathrooms. I’ll bet I was the talk of Tomball that day.

Anyway, because Francyne and her husband have been known to take things a bit far at times, I decided to answer the questions. But because I’m still under the gun of the deadline, I decided to just post my answers to Francyne’s list of get-to-know-me-better questions as my blog post.

So if you want to bitch about this post, I'll send you Francyne's and Richard's email.

But I'm sure you are all gonna be thrilled to know if I'm a blue berry or cherry person.

Anyway, what I’d like for you to do is pick a few of these questions, or all of them, and answer them. Come on, let's have just a little bit of fun, deadline, or no deadline.

Crime Scene Christie



1. What is your occupation? Nut case. Okay, writer.
2. What color are your socks right now? You are kinky, aren’t you?
3. What are you listening to right now? The television in the next room. My son left it on. Can I kill him?

4. What was the last thing that you ate? Something fat free. I swear it was.
5. Can you drive a stick shift? Only if my life depended on it and I no longer felt concern about anyone else’s life on the road.
6. What color would you be, if you were a color? Thin. That is a color, right? Okay, bright pink. (hmm, what does this say about a person?)
7. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Tom Cruise (I’m sure it was him, he didn’t say anything, but I still know it was him.)
8. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Yes, but I’m ticked at her for sending it. I’m supposed to be writing a blog.
9. How old are you today? 29. (I said I’d answer them, but I never agreed to tell the truth)
10. Favorite drink? Wine. Lots of it.
11. What is your favorite sport to watch? Frog gigging.
12. Have you ever dyed your hair? Not on purpose.
13. Pets? I don't have time to answer this question, but . . . Four cats, one very elderly dog, two rats, one rabbit, 20 or so turtles, and an occasional raccoon and possum.
14. Favorite food? Anything fat free that doesn’t taste like cardboard.
15. Last movie you watched? The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Great movie.
16. Favorite Day of the year? The day I turn in this book.
17. What do you do to vent anger? Bury people in my compost pile.

18. What was your favorite toy as a child? My shovel.
19. What is your favorite, fall or spring? I’m gonna have to research that.
20. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry (Now just exactly what does that tell someone about a person?) I mean, are the blueberry people better than the cherry people?

21. Do you want your friends to email you back? Not if it comes with another list of questions.
22. Living arrangements? Outside of a county facility, without an ankle bracelet. (At least at this time.)
23. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday, when I thought about having to put my dog down.
24. Who is the friend you've had the longest that you are sending this to? You
25. Who is the friend you have had the shortest that you are sending this to? ?
26. What is a place you've never been, that you hope to see someday? Hmmm… Hell.
27. Why? People are always telling me I need to go there. (Actually, I want to see Italy.)
28. Favorite smell? A puppy. (I think it would have been more interesting to ask about the worse smell.)
29. Favorite board game? Operation. I loved sticking those tweezers into that naked guy. (Isn’t that scary?)
30. First concert that you ever attended? Hank Willians Jr. (Hey, it was free.)
31. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheeseburger (Fat free, of course.)
32. Favorite Car? The kind with four wheels.
33. Favorite cat breed? House
34. Number of keys on your key ring? Three, one to my house, one to my car, and one to my compost pile.

35. How many years at your current job? You’re still trying to figure out how old I am, aren’t you?
36. Favorite day of the week? The day I get this book done!

37. How many states have you lived in? 3 and South America. State penitentiaries do count, right?
38. Favorite alcoholic drink, if any? If any? Seriously, don’t you know me better than that? Red Wine, in a big glass.
39. If you're old enough to remember, what is a favorite television show from the early 1970s? Duh, how old do you think I am?
40. What was the last thing that made you laugh? You, for thinking I had time to fill this out.
41. If you could be someone else for fifteen minutes, who would it be? What’s Brad Pitts wife’s name?
42. What’s the strangest food you’ve eaten? A fly, but not on purpose.