Is it hot in here?

I posted last week that I’d joined a new online dating service in hopes of finding a guy that isn’t on the FBI’s most wanted list. Well, I actually ended up joining not one service, but 5. Yep, 5. Hey, I figured I might as well go big. And, being the new girl on these sites, I got a blitz of emails from guys. Generally, I prefer to talk to one at a time, but knowing that once that new-girl smell wears off I won’t get nearly as many emails, I decided to take full advantage of the phenomenon this week. I’ve been emailing myself silly. I actually had to organize my messages this week into three categories – guys I might like to meet, guys that I really wish would lose my number now, and guys that I can’t remember who they are.

With the buffet of boys to choose from this week, a select few even made it past the requisite number of emails to the phone interview stage. They were:

1. Bachelor Number One
His profile seemed very nice. But, I totally melted when I saw the picture of his two little girls. They were adorable! I like kids anyway, but these two could be on cereal commercials, they were just that cute. So, had to write to him. When we talked on the phone he seemed really nice, so I kind of let it slip that I’d been on a few bad dates before. Like, super weird you-wouldn’t-believe-me-if-I-told-you dates. Then I made the mistake of wondering allowed, “Aren’t there any just nice normal guys out there.”
“Well, I’m normal,” he says.
“Thank God.”
“I’ve got a normal job, two great kids, I even have a picket fence.”
“Seriously? A real picket fence?” I start picturing myself in a June Cleaver apron…
“Yep. Normal. Well, except... there is one thing.”
Uh oh. I'm almost afraid to ask... “What?”
“There’s one thing I wasn’t totally truthful about online. My marital status.”
I knew it was too good to be true. He’s already got a June!
“See,” he says, “They didn’t have a box to check for my status.”
I’m thinking back. “They had single, separated, divorced, widowed… what else is there.”
“Coma.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m still married, but my wife’s in a coma.”
Only me. I swear this stuff only happens to me.

(P.S. No, I didn’t hold that against him. Very sad story really, and I admire how well he’s coped… but not totally normal either.)


2. Bachelor Number Two
A bit younger than I am, but very cute and I see chemistry happening right away. Nice to talk to on the phone. But… he kept asking about my books so he could go buy them. K, normally, I’m all for making a sale. But I’ve learned over the past few months that giving a guy my book and web info isn’t always wise. I won’t go into how many inappropriate myspace comments I’ve had to delete from my professional page due to boys I’ve been out with not taking a polite hint to hit the road. But it’s a lot. So, I generally keep that info to myself. But, Young Dude was persistent. So persistent that after I said, “No, I’ll tell you all about it when I know you better,” he apparently took it upon himself to do some investigating online. I have no freaking idea how he did it given the limited info I gave him about myself (probably many hours of googling late into the night), but he did, indeed, find me. Then proceeded to text me little hints that he knew who I “really” was. Maybe it was supposed to be cute… but it felt a little creepy bordering on stalkerish.

3. Bachelor Number Three
I may have mentioned this guy last week. The firefighter I wrote to? Well, he wrote back. (yay!) We talked to him on the phone and he sounded nice, could hold down his end of a conversation, no skeletons popping out of his closet (yet). A good decade older than I am, so I was a little wary, but sounded decent enough. He suggested meeting for coffee the next morning. Cool, I’m in. So, I direct him to my fav Starbucks (the one where they know me by name and order. Yes, I’m a total addict.) and hope for the best. I walk in the door and…
Oh. Wow.
Pardon the pun, but firefighters are HOT! Seriously hawt. Totally cut, great tan, nice chiseled features, beautiful hazel eyes. What started as a quick cup of coffee ended up with me pretty much playing hooky from writing all day (sorry Leah!). Though, after I told him I was a romance writer, he said I could easily write off our day together as “research”. ;)

Sadly, it will probably be a few days before I see him again, as a massive wildfire broke out in hills above our town the next morning. As I’m writing this, over 3200 acres of redwood forest and 10 homes have already burned. This is upsetting not only because of my newfound appreciation for firefighters, but because I grew up in those hills, just miles from the fire. I’ve been glued to the news all day, hoping my firefighter man gets it under control soon!
(Notice how I called him "mine" already? Yep, I can tell this guy is so gonna be trouble…)

~Trigger Happy Halliday