Duck and cover

This week I went on date #2 with The Firefighter. Fabulous. I would swear he got even hotter. And the requisite getting-to-know-you stuff is actually kind of fun with him, instead of the tedious chore it’s been with other guys. I learned he likes to listen to Sinatra (I love oldies!), just bought a new freezer for his martini bar (He has a martini bar in his house. Be still my beating heart.) and – this was the clincher – loves to shop at DSW (a.k.a. my shoe mecca). Yeah, you heard me right. A hot fireman that likes to browse shoe stores. Oh. My. God. Seriously he’s so cool, I’m waiting for the secret child or deranged ex-wife to pop out of his past any second.

So, to celebrate great date #2 (a rarely see but often fantasized about phenomenon) Mom and I decided to go to the mall. Ever since Mom put up her snakier than snark online dating profile, she’s been my idol. So after a good twenty minutes of me gushing in a giddy post-date haze, I asked how her dating life is faring.

“Ahn.” She shrugs.
“Hmm. Just ahn?”
“Well, okay, there is this one guy…”
So, I drag out of her that she’s met a retired former Navy captain. The first date went okay and he’s asked her out on a second for this weekend. “But,” she says, “he wants to go hiking.”
K, normally hiking might be fun. But when a gal meets a guy online, it’s probably best not to go out in the wilderness alone with him until you really know each other. I mean, even the Bicycle Thief and the Fighter with the body in the closet faked normal for the first three dates before showing their true colors.
So, I agree with Mom, hiking is not such a hot idea.
As we make our way through Macy’s, I offer up some alternatives. A stroll through the park? (Kind of like hike-light.) A walk through downtown? (Like hiking, but with window shopping.) Dinner and a movie? (Okay, nothing like hiking, but I know she hasn’t seen Indiana Jones yet.)
We’re walking through men’s wear, and I’m running out of ideas, when mom stops mid-step, abruptly veers right, and power walks the opposite direction.
O-kay.
I jog after her, catching up just as she shoves me around the corner into housewares.
“What was that about?” I asked.
Mom points over my shoulder. “That was him!”
I turn around. “Who?”
“The captain. The hiker wanna-be. He’s here!”
No. Way. What are the chances? So, I peak around the corner just in time to see a tall, blond guy paying for a pair of gray slacks. He’s slim, thick head of hair, strong jaw. Not bad, really. So, I say, “Let’s go say hi.”
Mom shakes her head. “Now way. Can’t.”
“Why not?”
“I’m wearing the same outfit I wore on the date!”
I look down. She’s in flat-front jeans, black shirt, white cropped jacket. Pretty cute date outfit, actually.
“If he sees me in this again, he’ll think I don’t have any other clothes!”
I do a giggle/snort thing. But, I have to agree, in her situation, I’d totally duck, too. No one wants to be a fashion one-hit wonder.
So, we hide out in housewares (picking up a new set of margarita glasses and a nacho bowl) while waiting for him to finish shopping. Finally the coast looks clear, and we emerge, making our through the mall.
Only, we make it just three stores in before Mom grabs my arm and veers left again.
I look up.
And the blond guy is dead ahead, coming right toward us. Man, he gets around!
Mom propels me into Anne Taylor, shoving me behind a rack of a-line skirts.
“Oh no. Oh crap. Do you think he saw me?” she pants.
I peak out. He’s making a beeline for the exit, no sign of recognition on his face.
“Doesn’t look like it.”
She does a sigh of relief. “Oh thank God.” Then her expression relaxes and she lets out a little laugh. “You know, maybe I will go on that second date. We’re obviously a lot more alike than I thought.”
“Because he shops Macy’s, too?” Hey, I gotta admit, a Navy captain who does Macy’s is almost as cool as a shoe-shopping firefighter. (Almost.)
But, Mom shakes her head, the laughter growing now. “No. Because he was dressed in the same outfit, too!”
Mental forehead smack.

Okay, so, fess up. Anyone else ever done the duck and hide thing from a guy? What’s the most silly, ridiculous, down-right embarrassing thing you’ve ever done when running into an unexpected acquaintance?

~Trigger Happy Halliday