Interview with a Boy

Unfortunately, our regularly scheduled guest blogger, Madelynne Ellis, had a family emergency was unable to come blog today. (Even though she’s rad, and you should all go check out her books!) So, in her place, I found us another last minute guest. As you lovely ladies know I am clueless as to how men think. So I thought I would get the straight scoop on how guys view love from my favorite guy-in-training, my neighbor’s eight-year-old son, Nick.

Me: Hey, Nick, thanks for letting me interview you.
Nick: You’re welcome.
Me: So, tell me, what do you think about girls?
Nick: Girls are cute, girls are funny, girls are cool. Girls are soft, I know ‘cause one hugged me before.
Me: Do you have a girlfriend?
Nick: No I do not.
Me: Do you want a girlfriend?
Nick: Yes.
Me: So, what do you look for in a girlfriend?
Nick: I just look for any kind of pretty girl.
(Oh yeah, he’s a guy.)
Me: How about smart girls? You like those too?
Nick: Yeah, smart girls are good, too.
Me: Have you ever had a girlfriend?
Nick: Once. When I was seven. We would just play in class and sometimes we would chat when we were doing our work.
Me: Sounds fun. Is she still you’re girlfriend?
Nick: No. She was starting to be mean to me. And she just decided she didn’t want to be with me anymore.
Me: Bummer. Breaking up sucks.
Nick: It does. I haven’t had a girlfriend since I was seven. Now I am single.
Me: Do you like being single?
Nick: Yes. But I really want a girlfriend.
Me: What would you do if you had one? Go out on a date?
Nick: I can’t go on date until I’m thirteen. I think going on dates would be pretty fun. We could chat and know a little more about each other and stuff like that.
Me: Sometimes dates are fun. (Sometimes not so much.) So, when you’re thirteen, what kind of date would you take a girl on?
Nick: We would eat dinner, laugh, and talk. Then we’d both pay at the end of the dinner. Or I would just bring a coupon.
Me: Thrifty man. Clever thinking. So, Nick, I have an important question. What do you think love is?
Nick: Love is something you can think about when you’re a kid, and then when you’re a grownup you can get married and your wife will help you pay your bills.
Me: Sounds like a sweet deal. So, I’ve had a hard time finding the right guy to date. Any advice for how I can weed out the good ones from the bad ones?
Nick: Well, if he smells bad, if he sweats real bad and if he has any pimples that’s bad. And if he’s really strong, that’s good. If he’s really funny, if he’s really smart, that’s also good. And that’s probably all you need to know about dating.

There you have it. All you ever needed to know about dating from a 2nd grader.

~Trigger Happy Halliday