Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Just Another Manic Mother's Day


Before I begin – check out my new and improved website and see my first ever contest! I know, it took me f…o…r…e…v…e…r. But now I have the Amazing Kim so things are looking up! More on that later.

How was your Mother’s Day? Mine was okay. It’s always too much and my husband is always out of town but it was good. As usual there’s the running around to celebrate the occasion with both of our mothers (and did I mention my husband always seems to be out of town?). Which means I’m always up early, fixing breakfast, making a…whatever it is I’m supposed to take with me and yelling at the kids four times to get dressed and moving. By the end of the day I’m usually exhausted and a total bitch. This time we spread it out and had it (and like five birthday/etc. celebrations thrown in) over the course of two days and just for fun I threw in running the zip line at camp for another girl scout troop.

Some women fantasize about Fabio (never understood that one) or George Clooney (okay, I get that) or receiving diamonds as big as a baby’s head, vacations on the Riviera, winning American Idol, etc. I have always fantasized about having Mother’s Day to myself.

It begins like this; (and remember, don't attempt this fantasy on your own - I am a professional and your brain could actually implode just imagining that this day is possible)

I arise around 11am, with a plate of chocolate Krispy Kremes and a large glass of milk on my nightstand as my kids hand me goofy cards they made myself (okay, I at least have that part every year). I take a long, steaming bubble bath in a spotless tub (again, this may be difficult to imagine so don't even try if you have a heart condition), while listening to Samuel Barber. When I come downstairs dressed in a cashmere hoodie and yoga pants (which I don’t have yet. why don't I have that yet?!) to find my house has been completely cleaned (I know…it is just a fantasy - don't hurt yourself). It’s a beautiful day outside, of course, and we lounge in the backyard watching the kids play, a good book in my hands and a pitcher of mimosas on the table. At night, we order a pepperoni lover’s pizza (with cheese in the crust – arteries are sooooo overrated) and watch a movie I want to watch (I’m not sure this would ever be possible).

Sigh.

I did get a kick-ass gift this year – my new assistant, Kim. I met her at the Chicago Spring Fling conference and she works for authors, setting up and managing marketing stuff among other things. Because of her, I have pages on My Space, Facebook, a real contest on my website, a montly newsletter, etc. She’s awesome and may be the coolest Mother’s Day gift ever (and no, we didn’t violate any slavery laws - you can't own a human because that would be wrong. sigh.).

So, things turned out pretty good. And someday, just maybe, in an alternative universe when the moon is in the seventh house (whatever the f%$#! That means), I’ll get the day off I want.

What did you do?

The Assassin

17 comments:

Keri Ford said...

I visited both moms. I, too, requested a mom's day just to myself to do whatever in the heck I wanted to do. The hubby informed me that to properly celebrate mother's day, I need to spend it with the kid who made me a mom.
Translation: Hubby didn't want to chase the kid all day long by himself or change all the stinky diapers (hee, thought thinking back, I think he did that!)

I did get EXACTLY what I wanted this year. After hinting several days and then outright saying this is what I want, I got an osolating fan. Couldn't be happier with it!

Leslie said...

awww, Leslie. You're so sweet!

Well, your fantasy sounds pretty darn good. I'd just want that pitcher of mimosas to be bottomless and all day long. After seeing 3 mom's I need ze alcohol.

My want list was pretty standard just a few books. The guys managed to find one. LOL If we're wishing big though I'd love a day at the spa or even just a pedi.

Spotless tub and house? What the heck are those?

And yes, check out Leslie's brand new contest! Its lots of fun. Friend her on MySpace and Facebook!

Kim, legally owned by Leslie in 46 states.

Leslie Langtry said...

Keri,

Ooooh! I can't live without my occi...osil...fan! I love mine too!

Les

Kim said...

I have no clue how I posted under the name Leslie. But that's me up there!

I swear blogger hates me.

Leslie Langtry said...

Kim,

I love that! "Legally owned by Leslie in 46 states!" Wait! What about the other 4? Who does Gin have to kill to get them?

Les

Gemma Halliday said...

How cool, I want a Kim! Seriously, I've been fantasizing about having an assitant for the past few months now. I'm hoping to draft my sister after I finish this last Heels book, but we'll see how steep her price is. ;)

~Gemma

Sin said...

I happen to love Kim myself. But for totally other reasons than the reason you adore her. I stalk her as well. LOL

Leslie, loved the fantasy Mother's day. You totally deserve that sort of day. Probably better. Like being pampered by four really hot cabana boys willing to anything you want them to do.

Kim said...

Les said: "Wait! What about the other 4? Who does Gin have to kill to get them?"

Well, I would tell you but then... You know. ;)

Sin--you can't stalk me. I stalk you. Oh sinfully delicous one. MWAH!

Leslie Langtry said...

Gemma!

Kim is awesome, I highly recommend her! And Sin, this will sound super lame, but I'm too tired for cabana boys. I know, lame, lame, lame...

Les

Angie Fox said...

Is it bad that I asked for a day, alone, sometime in the future? Just a day to shop with girlfriends or go to the spa. Or to go somewhere quiet and listen to the silence.

My family laughed and thought I was joking. That's the problem with cracking jokes and writing funny all the time - people don't know when you're serious.

So, instead, I received some books and a crazy day with the family - which was fun. Maybe I can have a bit of quiet next year.

Christie Craig said...

My Mother's Day involved Mexican food, lunch out with my two kids, husband and son-in-law. I got new luggage, a coffee grinder, and a gift card.

I made out like a bandit.

But that day off, does sound nice. And the assistant, wow! Can I borrow her?
Crime Scene Christie

terrio said...

Ooh, you got a Kim! Those are really hard to find. You are so lucky!

This may have been my worst Mother's Day ever. To be fair, it was only my 8th, but it was the worst. And it was all my own fault. You see, I'm a part-time college student taking classes online. Last week was my mid-term week.

I told myself I was going to get the tests done early in the week so I could enjoy my weekend, but that never happened. So, I spent nearly 5 hours doing ONE test only to open the other test and find out it was due the day before. I did it anyway and have no idea how credit I'll get if any. *sigh*

So, I'm hoping next year I have a much better day. Since it will be about a month before I graduate, I'll either be writing my final paper at the last minute or already kicked back and celebrating.

Leslie Langtry said...

Angie,

Sigh. Your dream sounds lovely. I don't think that's wrong - to take one day off from being supermom!

Christie,

You did make out! And lunch out sounds great! I got our moms digital picture frames and pre-loaded them with pictures of the grandkids. And since I'm so tech challenged, it took me hours to figure out how to do this.

Les

Keri Ford said...

Terrio, ugh, I did this once! Thought a project was due the NEXT wednesday, so I ran back to my room, skipped all my classes and finished the project that evening. Took it to the teach, and he refused it! I was pissed, tired, angry, and by then, doing quiet a bit of crying. This was the FINAL project. Then I remembered something and whiped out my class syllabus.

He had a section, clearly indicating that if a student was late, X amount of points would be taken off. I went to my class rep, who called the head of the department and had me come in. He took my project to the teach, made him grade it and I got a C or B on it. so, if something bad comes of it, check EVERYTHING the teacher ever gave you. good luck!

ps. Leslie, I always thought it was Isolating. my sister gladly corrected me and told me it began with an 'o'

terrio said...

Keri - after posting that comment I figured I should go check to see if the grades were up. Lucky for me the professor took it with no problem and didn't even dock me points for being late.

Whew! Another bullet dodged. (Which I realize is an ironic cliche to use on this blog...lol)

MsHellion said...

Congrats on your new Kim! I love the contest...and the new pages! :)

And that fantasy is the bomb!

Kim said...

Terri--Yay! Glad the teacher took it with no problem. What did you get?

Christie--Man, you did make out like a bandit!

Angie--I think that would be wonderful. I used to save up vacation days so I could take a mental health day all to myself. That's just kind of hard to do when you work from home though, right?

Les--Those digital frames are so cool! I'm waiting for the prices to drop and then everyone on my list is getting one.