Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A Phew Filosofical Questions...

Since the other week when I wondered why RAGE doesn’t burn calories, a couple of other questions have popped into my head.

I don’t ask Mr. A’s opinion anymore. One time a friend and I were having some serious e-mail back and forth regarding a shoe on James’ Cameron’s Titanic documentary. Seems the shoe is found completely buttoned up – with like, fifty buttons. So, we surmised a foot had been in it. What happened to the foot?

Well, we had all kinds of cool theories – a shark with a snail fork, etc. Then Mr. A ruins all our fun by saying the foot just dissolved in the icy waters over time. Bastard.

So, I spent Sunday trimming poor Muppet again. She looks like a tiny weasel with large, uneven bald spots now. Her hair grows ridiculously fast and mattes up if she sneezes. On the other hand, there is my pug. I wonder why in some animals, their hair is short all the time. The pug's hair grows only one length…ever. Why? And how can I get in on that?

Or maybe we can do what the Chrissy and Velvet dolls did. You remember? A button in her navel makes the hair longer and a button on her back makes it short. Sounds wonderful to me - I'm not using my navel for anything right now.

The second question comes from something a pet shop owner told me when I went to get food for the Beta we had named, “Margaret’s Fish.” The fish guy told me not to over feed the fish because, “Fish will eat until they die if you let them.”

I’d heard this before. It’s an old saw if you keep fish as pets, right? And yet, if that’s true, what about fish in lakes, rivers and seas? I’ve never heard of a fish hatching in the morning and dying by afternoon because it kept eating and couldn’t stop. Why is that?

How is it that some fish cannot control themselves when it comes to gluttony and their inevitable deaths? How come other fish live for years? Do they have some kind of self-restraint that eludes the rest of all fishkind? And how can I apply it to my complete lack of willpower that comes over me when I see a Twinkie?

Psst. I should note that I have never actually attempted to “eat until I die” but there have been times when I thought I was dying from overeating.

Let me know if you have any insight into these strange phenomena.

The Assassin

10 comments:

krisgils33 said...

Those are some really deep thoughts for so early in the morning. I'm afraid I've got nuthin'. All I can focus on is the Twinkie....yeah, thanks for that. :-)

MsHellion said...

No idea about the fish issue. I agree husbands should not ruin the fun by inserting "logical" explanations about how feet are no longer in shoes. And now I sorta want the button on my navel that grows my hair out because I have short hair now and I always promise to grow it out, but it gets to that 'tween stage where it's not long but it's no longer short and manageable. You just look like a bag lady. I could use the belly button hair grower then.

Leslie Langtry said...

Kris, I make a mean Twinkie cake...

Hellie! Logn time no hear from!
Growing out hair sucks. I've been thinking of cutting my hair super short and letting it all grow in the natural color - silver. But I don't want to look old before my time.

Tori Lennox said...

I've still got my Chrissie doll somewhere around here....

I wish I could shorten my hair with the touch of a button.

Leslie Langtry said...

I found Velvet the other day. Her eyes were crusted with some white stuff that makes her look like a zombie.

krisgils33 said...

what on earth is a Twinkie cake??

Leslie Langtry said...

You slice a bunch of Twinkies lengthwise and lay them on the bottom of a glass pan. Then you mix melted choc chips, an egg and something...I forget what...and pour the mixture over that. Then spread a thick layer of Cool Whip over that and refridgerate. Nom...nom...nom...

catslady said...

I know the fish answer. My grown nephew is a total expert on fish and I had asked him this question. You cannot overfeed a fish - it knows when to quit. Why you don't overfeed fish is because it totally messes up the tank. The food they don't eat ends up on the bottom of the tank and messes with the filters, water and ph balance. Hope this helps :)

krisgils33 said...

OMG! I think my arteries hardened just from reading the description of your twinkie cake!!!

Janene Murphy said...

I like the way you think, Leslie. The twinkie cake? I definitely have to get in on that. As for MY Chrissy doll? My baby sister took a permanent marker and dyed her hair green, then she cut it all off assuming more would come out of the 'magic hole' on the top of her head. (Oh, God, I just said 'magic hole.' Yikes!) Anyway, I still have unresolved anger issues over the incident.