Friday, July 02, 2010

S/he Facebook, S/he Facebook not.

Happy 4th!! (a couple days early!)  I hope everyone has a great weekend!  I'm plugging away at a deadline... appropriately enough for the next book in my Hollywood Headlines series titled DEADLINE, so I'm going to turn things over ot my fabulous guest blogger Maria Grazia Swan.  Take it away, Maria...

I just came back from five days in California. The trip was a combination of things I had to do and things I wanted to do.

  One of these things was to meet a Facebook friend in person. It wasn’t a random choice, I asked her to be friends because her son and my grandson went to school together. When I went for the graduation, meeting her was a natural step. 

      I’m not going to bore you with the details of our visit, but it was wonderful. On the long drive back, I started to think about all the hundreds, if not thousands, of friends we accumulate on our Facebook page. Sort of like Boy Scout Merit Badges. Except, the Boy Scouts have to do something to earn the badges. On Facebook, we garner friends with a simple push of the finger. Tired of being a friend? Click delete and voila! Gone. 

      Perhaps I’m simplifying the process, but the reality is that we will never be able to meet all of our Facebook friends in person. In fact, the only contact we have with most of these ‘friends’ is that original click of the button. Maybe we will post a happy birthday message when Facebook reminds us it is some ‘friend’s’ birthday. 

      So, I ask myself—and all of you like me—why do we do it? Why are we gathering friends like Tiger Woods gathered mistresses? 

      To make matter worse, some friendships turn into romantic connections, or at least try to. I know of at least three of my Facebook friends who have courted, dated, and broken up without having actually met the object of their desire. 

      Do I have a solution? Do we have a problem? I don’t know. I did set up a page, open to anyone-Get Off The Couch Tuesdays. Like it says, I try to encourage Facebook people to unplug the computer, get off the couch and do something interesting. I even offer monthly prizes to the most creative activity. I don’t get many participants, but I’m not giving up. I know there is life outside the world of Facebook. I just need to convince my ‘friends’.

~Maria Grazia Swan

Maria Grazia Swan is an author and motivational speaker who shares relationship advice and guidance for women re-entering the social/dating scene. Maria empowers and encourages single women to be bold, fearless, and sexy in their pursuit of life and love after age 45. An award recipient from the Women’s National Book Association, Swan is the author of Boomer Babes: True Tales of Love and Lust in the Later Years (Leisure Books). Visit


krisgils33 said...

I like FB because I have re-connected with long lost friends. I have met a few people at random events that have become my FB friends, but I am still very selective about who I choose as my friends. I have been asked to friend someone multiple times because they note that we have some common interest. I will ignore those requests. It is also a good way for me to keep up with what is going on in the lives of family members who are far away. I do check it pretty much every day, sometimes multiple times in a day...but it really depends on how busy I am with other stuff.

Lucy said...

I don't do facebook and really don't get it. Having said that, I did check it out this past week and, even though I have very limited access because I'm not a member, I can see where it would be very addicting.

But about the 'friends' thing. That's something I really don't get. I can kind of understand reconnecting with old friends through facebook but I don't (and I mean really don't) get friending people you don't really know, just so you have have a large friend base.

Oh, and if it matters, I don't tweet and never had a myspace page either. And my cell phone is a flip phone. I know, dark ages right? :o)

Have a great weekend.

Maria G. Swan said...

@Krisgils, yeah,like you I was able to reconnect with family I didn't know was out there and most of my 'friends' are writers, but I confess, I also get the occasional nut case...that's life facebook or not.
@Lucy, don't feel bad, I have a blackberry I don't know how to use, my grandson discovered my photo memory was full although I insisted I'd never taken a photo. Turns out they were photos of my lap/legs, I hold the phone there, lap, while driving...