So, Baby Boy is teething. And not just sorta teething, but the doctor informed us that he’s trying to cut at least four teeth all at once. This is one time when I’m not sure I appreciate the overachiever mentality. He’s like living with a teeny tiny person who has 24/7 PMS. Everything pisses him off lately. And we’ve tried everything to alleviate his discomfort – frozen teethers, frozen cloths, frozen bananas. We’ve pretty much frozen anything that fits in the freezer and tried stick it in his mouth. We’re on our second bottle of pain killers (okay, second bottle for him, third for us), and he is putting everything under the sun in his mouth as he tries to chew those suckers through the gum line. My brand new sunglasses now have a line of teeny tiny teeth marks. Which is great, because they match my cell phone screen (his second fav thing to chew on) now. (Grrrr…)
In desperation the other night, as I was downing a glass of much needed Chardonnay, and wishing I could just stick a cork in the baby, I had an idea. I stuck a cork in the baby. I dipped the wine cork (synthetic, so it couldn’t shred cork bits) in the wine and shoved it in Baby’s mouth. Wadda ya know? He loved it. Best teether ever!
The only problem was that I now had no cork for the wine bottle. I briefly contemplated just drinking the entire thing (Hey, it had been a LONG day of teething), but instead I came up with this:
Wine cork in baby’s mouth, baby bottle nipple in wine bottle. This isn’t wrong, is it?
~Trigger Happy Halliday
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7 comments:
OMG that's too funny. And sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. You know?
Here's hoping he's done teething soon!
hilarious. congratulations on your ingenuity...you really should win a prize of some sort for the brilliance of it all. as for "is it wrong", my philosophy when my daughter was a baby was always "whatever gets you through the day". you'll get through this!!!
This? Gives a whole new meaning to "Put a cork in it." lol
Possibly
Being the uncle of 16 and grand uncle of 12 (And boy does that make me feel old) I've heard my sisters lament this situation lots of times.
My sympathies.
Now I'm going to rain on your parade a little bit.
Did you think to test that cork in one of those infant choke hazard tubes?
One sister, one niece and one great nephew have all come close to choking, fortunately with no ill effect. Please be careful.
This reaches new heights in parenting. Genius. Though I also thought of the "OMG could he suck that in and choke on it?" LOL!
I'm guessing with you right there, he was safe. What a cutie! I love when they turn all rolly polly.
No, Gemma, it's not wrong at all. It's brilliant is what it is. Now if you had put the baby bottle nipple around the other way, we would have something to talk about. If you were feeding it to the baby. If the wine is just for you, may I recommend a sippy cup instead?
Thanks for the commiserations!
Bookmobiler: I did think of the choking hazard. Being that Baby puts EVERYTHING in his mouth, we've become hyper alter to that. But this one is big enough, I think, that we're okay. Thanks!
Zita: The sad thing? When we've run out of wine glasses, I have done the sippy cup thing. Lol!
~G
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