Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Special Guest - Suzan Harden

Winner! Winner! We have a winner! The winner of Suzan's tote bag with all its goodies is . . . Donnas. Congratulations! Donnas, please send me your snail mail address - Christie (at) Christie-Craig (dot) com - and I'll get the prize off to you. Thanks again to Suzan Harden for joining us at Killer Fiction. You rocked, girl!

* * *

Hi, Guys,

Please join me in welcoming Suzan Harden to Killer Fiction. Suzan is a dear friend and one of my critique partners. She writes urban fantasy and is thisclose to securing a publishing contract. Her blog, Wild, Wicked and Wacky, is a must read, and her blog today will tell you why.

Take it away, Suzan!

* * * *

Humor is a very subjective concept. All you have to do is compare one of my manuscripts with one of Christie’s to comprehend this. Seriously, it’s like comparing Zombieland to Pretty Woman. If can wrap your mind around that concept, maybe you’ll understand why Christie and I are friends.

But there are times when my logic and her logic don’t mesh. Recently, Christie had a WTF moment over something I did.

Okay, Christie would NEVER say WTF. It was more like WTH. She was quickly joined by Jody and Teri. On the other hand, Faye has lived in New York long enough she will say WTF.

Anyway, back to what I did. Every year for the month of May, Brenda Novak has an online auction to benefit diabetes research. For this year’s auction, she had a little contest each week. The person who put the most bids on items would win a special prize. The first week’s prize was a brand-new Apple iPad. Genius Kid had been salivating over one at the mall a few days before the auction started. So I logged on the auction website and bid. And bid. And bid. On books, on agent reads, on the gorgeous leather Acheron coat Sherrilyn Kenyon donated. In all, I placed nearly 300 bids.

I didn’t win the iPad.

Over the course of the next couple weeks, I watched my high bids get overrun, especially by writers more desperate than me to snag the attention of a particular editor. I’d never won anything in the last three years I’d bid on items at Brenda’s auction. Never.

I checked in on the evening of May 31st. There were 65 items left on my high-bidder list. “Yep, everyone’s waiting until the last minute in order not to go higher,” I told myself and my husband. Heck, I’d used the same strategy many a time on eBay.

My last agent read disappeared. So did the signed hardcover of Susan Elizabeth Phillips’s Ain’t She Sweet? Another item disappeared at the last second.

Then something weird happened. It’s like everyone else stopped bidding. The auction ended.

I had won 62 FRIGGIN’ AUCTIONS. And a lot of them were multiple-item auctions, like Carly Phillips donating an iPod (hot pink), $50 iTunes gift card plus three of her books.

Then I realized I had another problem. I ALREADY OWNED over half of the books I’d won.

My husband just looked at me. “I thought we were supposed to be cleaning the house out, not adding more stuff to it.” (We’re prepping for putting our place on the market next year.)

I gave him a sheepish grin. “Um, I’ll let you play with the iPod?”

He rolled his eyes. “Ri-i-ight. I’m going to walk around with a hot pink iPod. By the way, how are you planning to pay for this?”

At least, I’d come up with a plan to pay for the auction (let’s just say Starbuck’s won’t be getting quite as much money from me this year) before I addressed my overflowing bookshelf problem with the girls. “Would it be too tacky for me to ask these authors if I could interview them and give away their books on my blog?”

Surprisingly, every writer I’ve asked has been gracious enough to agree to an interview. I’ve given away lots of cool stuff. My husband’s happy that I haven’t taken over more of his office than I already have. Christie and the girls are still laughing over my oops.

And me? I’m jamming on the hot pink iPod while I work on my latest wip.

So, have you had any WTF, or as Christie would say, WTH moments lately. Leave a comment to win

CONTEST: This will be the biggest giveaway yet! I’ve got a beautiful zippered bag with a design based on Monet’s Water Lilies. It’ll be chock full of signed books, bookmarks, pens, notepads, and a cute journal. As for the chocolate (since any decent contest must include chocolate in the prizes), a box of Harry London’s Mints will be shipped straight to your house from the chocolatier.


krisgils33 said...

That is by far one of the funniest blogs I have read. It's very cool that you won so much stuff (sorry about the iPad, though!). I've read your triple-W blog, too. I don't have a biggest WTF moment to share, there are just too many to cull one from!!!!

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Suzan! I was wondering about all those book you've been giving away. I knew you'd won something you were embarrassed to have won -- man, this is a Christie-worthy story, know that?

Faye Hughes said...


Yep. It was truly a WTF moment. LOL.

And krisgils33, you should read Suzan's urban fantasies (which, honestly, are fabulous and I'm surprised some agent hasn't jumped on.)


jbrayweber said...

Hi Suzan & Christie!

My WTF/WTH moment came when I decided I wanted to enter the Brava contest.

Not really a problem unless you consider I didn't meet their word count. I was 6600 words shy. Not a big deal right? Boy was I WRONG!

My MS was completed and polished within an inch of it's life. I needed to come up with fresh material in just a matter of days.

I've stopped and come up for air long enough to read and comment here.

Going back in now. There is a deadline to meet after all.


allaboutthewriting.com said...

I was a nervous wreck reading this, wondering how you were going to pay for it all! LOL

I can't think of any specific WTF moments (which is probably my brain being compassionate), but for a few years it seemed my motto was "Well, seemed like a good idea at the time!" :)

Donna Cummings

Ang said...

This was the ultimate WTF moment for me. Back in 2005 when I moved in with my now husband, we were awaken on our very first Christmas morning together to his ex-wife standing in our kitchen screaming the dog's name...lol. Yes, she'd conveniently let herself in (after my stepson left the door unlocked) to give the dog they shared custody his Christmas presents. Talk about your WTF moments.


Peg said...

Boy, this is embarrassing to admit but, WTF, here goes. I have managed to back into not one, not two, but THREE cars in my own driveway! On the other hand, I've never had a moving violation or accident that was my fault. That should count for something, right?

Christie Craig said...

Hi, Guys,

I'm loving all the "WTF" stories you're sharing.

Keep 'em coming!


TerriOsburn said...

Great blog. You had me at chocolates. Okay, really you had me at the WTF moment, but the chocolate clinched it.

I'm having a WTF summer (I'm northern, I'll use the "F") and it's all my own fault. Finished the first MS, signed up for a perfectly timed 6-week revision class and planned to coast my way to Nationals with a polished book to sell.

Then, on a whim, I decided to buy my own house. We close in a month and I've barely revised the first 50 pages. Now I'm pulling my hair out for a pitch and hoping I only get partial requests as that's all that will be ready. :)

Nikki said...

Oh, this blog gave me a good laugh this morning! A wtf moment I can think of from last year- my husband wanted to get purchase a big item, and we looked over all the things we needed to pay, plus a few things that we'd need to get. Said it was fine, he bought the item. A few days later, a notice was left on our door about our gas had been turned off. I'd totally forgotten about the gas bill, because we pay it ever few months! So, it was COLD showers and eating out for a few weeks until we could get it turned back on. Yeah, major wtf. Oh well, it was an adventure and a lesson to not forget :)

catslady said...

62 wow lol. My latest WTF moment was on the 4th of July - went to a friend's for illegal fireworks (PA doesn't allow much lol) and just after they had started I passed out with a huge thud. I'm blaming dehydration (shhhh). What is really weird is that this happened to me somewhere else 3 years ago and I hadn't had anything to cause it and I ended up in the hospital for 4 days but nothing was ever found. I'm beginning to think that in another life something happened to me on the 4th of July lol.

Suzan Harden said...

@krisgils33 - Welcome to Killer Fiction! Yep, these gals are as funny in real life as the books they write.

@Susan - LOL I wouldn't say embarrassed exactly. If I weren't trying to clean out closets and paint rooms, I'd definitely be curled up on the couch with my stack o' books. DH was quietly annoyed/bemused when this happened 'cause I'd been nagging him about packing up his sh**.

Suzan Harden said...

@Faye - You're making me blush, girl! And Faye's a much better writer than I am, folks! I've learned so much from her and Christie.

@Jenn - You got selected for the Brava contest? Major congratulations, girl!

Suzan Harden said...

@Donna - LOL Like I said, my Starbuck's budget is cut way down, but I think I'll survive on homemade Lipton tea.

@Ang - *cyber wave* Thanks for dropping by. As for the ex, oh wow! Now we know why she's the ex.

Virginia said...

This was to funny! We all have had moments like this but maybe not quite that bad. Hey I need to paint my house how do you get motivative to do that. I have been telling myself to do that all summer.

Suzan Harden said...

@Peg - Holy cow! How'd explain this to your insurance agent?

@Christie - Don't worry. Nothing can beat your sexual assault by a male elephant story.

Jody said...

Thank you I so much needed to know therer are people like me out there when it comes to these biding escapades. I had a WTH moment this morning I had planned to go with some girl friends for coffee this morning but woke to a screaming sinus headache and begged off. Good thing, am having knee surgery tomorrow and I completely forgot the motion machine lady was coming this morning. So instead of coffee with the girls I was home to be fitted for the machine. Sad part I put both events in my ipad calendar and didn't realize they were fro the same day. Totally a blond moment.

Suzan Harden said...

@Terri - Congratulations on the new house! It always takes longer to get settled in than you think. And don't drive yourself crazy over the pitch. Otherwise you may end up like me.

@Nikki - What? The gas company didn't even send you the nast red letter before shutting everything off? LOL Please tell me this was in the summer!

Suzan Harden said...

@catslady - Oooo! That is not good. Please tell me you didn't hurt yourself on the way down.

@Virginia - Hey girl! If it's the outside, I hire someone else to do it. This is Houston. 100 degrees and 100% humidity. *grin* Now the inside rooms, I like to paint. Crank up the tunes, tuen up the AC and crack open a can of Diet Pepsi.

Suzan Harden said...

@Jody - I'll keep my fingers crossed for you on your surgery tomorrow. Besides physical incapcity provides the perfect excuse to have your girlfriends bring the coffee to you, right?

Kara C said...

Love the blog. My life is full of WTF and WTH moments as I work with and live with KIDS. Of course, around here, because my boys are not allowed to use either of the other two options, they've devised What the Mess. Have no idea how that came to be, but I guess in this house we now have WTM moments, and many of them.
Anything involving laundry and my teen becomes a WTM moment. Keep in mind he is a very bright kid, great grades, the works. But... one day he called me while I was at work, frantic because the washing machine was broken. I rushed home, fully expecting water to be everywhere, but there was nothing. All was quiet. "I don't know what happened, Mom. One minute it was going fine and the next it just stopped." WTM, I wanted to say. It wasn't broken - it was FINISHED WASHING. LOL If that were his only run-in with laundry, we'd be fine. However, he and laundry seem to provide the family with plenty of those what the moments. :)

TJ Bennett said...

Heh heh. So sorry for you Suzan. However, I get you. I hardly ever win anything either, but I'm hoping to win this bag. I had a transcendent experience when I saw one of Monet's Water Lily paintings at a museum a few years ago. I was listening to the museum's recorded tour, which included music by Debussy, on their headphones and rounded the corner just as "Reverie" kicked in. I gasped. I stood there with my mouth open, watching the painting seem to come to life in the tiny spotlights while "Reverie" played in the background. It was just one of those moments. I've never forgotten it.

That bag is MINE.



Suzan Harden said...

@Kara - Oh, sweetie, I'm so there with you! Why is it guys can rip apart a car or a laptop and slap it back together, but when confronted with a domestic appliance, say like an oven, all brain cells quit working?

Suzan Harden said...

@TJ - Eek! Do I need to get new locks on the doors? LOL

Folks, TJ is the crit partner of another one of my mentors, Colleen Thompson, and a fabulous writer in her own right. Check out her books The Promise and The Legacy if you love historical romance.

Christie Craig said...

Hey. . . TJ and Suzan,

Am I like disqualified to win that tote? I mean. . . come on. LOL.

I love all the posts, guys. Keep 'em coming.


Suzan Harden said...

Okay, now I feel weird. People are fighting over the tote and not the books?

Though I'm glad Terri appreciates fine chocolate. London's has been served at the White House.

donnas said...

Awesome story. I havent had anything quite like that happen to me. The closest I can come is going to a signing and bringing one of my own books to get signed and bringing the one I already had signed instead of the new one I wanted to bring. So of course I bought another one.

Christie Craig said...

Hey Suzan,

I want everything that goes in the tote, too!!! LOL.


Jane said...

Welcome Suzan,
There have been a few WTF moments in my life, but I don't think I can describe them without some foul language. Luckily I haven't had any of those kind of moments for a while. I hope that doesn't mean I due for one soon.

MG Braden said...

ROFL - and that's why I didn't bother trying to win that "most bid on" prize for Brenda's auction. I knew that would happen to me and I'd never be able to pay for it.

My most recent WTH moment was when I dropped my kids off at school and drove away, intending to go home, have coffee and write. A little voice from the back pipes up "Mom? No Jen today?"

Yeah, I'd forgotten to get my youngest out of the car for preschool. I had to turn around and race back before my preschool provider left (she picks up at the elementary school). At least I forgot him the good way (if there is such a thing) and he was with me, instead of forgetting to pick him up. Right? Right? :-P

Patricia said...

These stories are great! I'm glad to know that there are others out there with WTF Moments!LOL

One of my most embarrassing: I have 4 children and they were begging for fast food, so I thought OK, I have some cash in my purse (I never have cash on me) so I went through the drive-thru and ordered. Got to the window and no cash! UGH! OK, no big deal I'll use my check card, got out the wallent, NO Check Card! It was still sitting on my desk from paying a bill on-line that morning. I had to ask the person to hold my food so I could drive home to get the card. Thankfully I was only a couple blocks away.
Come to find out my husband took my cash that morning for his lunch and "forgot" to tell me! Yes, I went there, it's all his fault!! LOL

Stacey Joy Netzel said...

No recent WTF moments for me, but I certainly enjoyed reading about yours. :) At least you're enjoying the iPod, too bad about the iPad after all that effort.

s7anna said...

I think I'd have a heart attack if that happened to me...like whoa...


Nikki said...

@Susan. We hadn't even seen anything mailwise from the gas company in a month or so. It was in summertime! It was kinda fun eating out for a week or so in a row,LOL.

Linda Henderson said...

My WTF moment happened quite a while ago. When I was pregnant with my second daughter I was at the OB's office for my monthly check-up when the nurse walks in and tells me I need to get my blood work done. Well since I had it done the month before, I looked at her and asked what happened to the lab work I'd had done the month before. So then she proceeds to tell me I'd never had it done and this went back and forth for about 10 minutes. Finally I asked her whose name was on the chart, and much to our surprise, she had my ex-husbands new wife's chart, we were going to the same doctor and she had our charts mixed up. That was definitely a WTF moment for me.

Refhater said...

I'm probably too late to enter the contest, but here's my WTF moments anyway. Yesterday was "one of those kinda days."

One morning as I checked facebook, I read a post from my mother that my niece who was 9 months old at the time had accidently amputated her thumb. (They were able to reattach the thumb.)

I also found out(again via mom on facebook) my father had a retinal detachment and had to have emergency surgery on one eye and a vitrious detachment in the other.

I thought WTF, Could mom not call me to tell me that these things happened? They're kinda important. Her response was that she didn't want to repeat the story 100 times and I could read it just like everyone else and she'd only have to say it once.

Sheila said...

Really salivating over the office supplies. Got a thing for pens, pencils, paper, journals...okay, you get the picture. True office supply junkie. My daughter tells me that's why I'm a writer. She's so sweet. She thinks I'm a writer. lol- Raven