Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A Few Thoughts After A Reaaaaaally Long Couple of Days...


I started dieting. Why doesn't rage burn calories? It seems like it should. I use it enough. I think 2000 calories burned per outburst would do. Give me a day where I drink nothing but diet shakes and by dinner I could burn 8,000 calories. In theory, I should lose 150 lbs. by the weekend.

Today I'll be seeing my doctor about a lump on my wrist. Did you know there's a website called The Ganglion Cyst Page? With photos? I don't recommend it. Especially if you are eating clear, lumpy jello at the time. The lump is 1 inch in diameter. It hurts.

What if the lump is fatty tissue? Not content with terrorizing my thighs and waistline, fat has now moved to my wrists. I have fat wrists.

Sigh. Today, I am Life's bitch.

How are you?

The Assassin

8 comments:

krisgils33 said...

I had ganglions in my hand when I was a kid. Completely destroyed a mediocre gymnastics career. They were gaggles of fun to have removed. I feel your pain.

I have been dieting of late. Lost 14 pounds, but I think I must have been unaware that I had clown feet or something, because my pants aren't any looser in the waist, so the only alternative if that those 14 pounds were in my big toe.

Leslie Langtry said...

LOL! You cracked me up and made my day at the same time!

TerriOsburn said...

My diet has been that I've actually gone TWO days this week without a candy bar. That's real progress for me.

If road rage burned calories, I'd be that Ally McBeal chick.

I'm spazzing out about pitching at conference, which has now given me a twitch in my bottom lip. *sigh* But, the twitch does not have to be surgically removed, so I will not whine to you.

And I bet your ankles are still skinny. That's something.

Leslie Langtry said...

Terrio, you will do a GREAT job at national. Wish I could be there. Next year for sure. The only reason I'm on the diet I am is because the bars are like candy bars. Sad, eh?

TerriOsburn said...

You're not going?! Aw, come on. You're like the 10th person I look forward to seeing every year who isn't going. You people are all abandoning me!

Ahem, not that everything is about me.

Leslie Langtry said...

Sorry! Just couldn't swing it this year. I will miss having drinks with you!

Tori Lennox said...

Rage should totally burn calories! So should eye-rolling. I could burn a lot of calories that way.

Leslie Langtry said...

Wow, I never thought about that. Sarcasm should burn some serious calories!