Stupid Dogs and Their Stupid Need to Eat...

I'm out of dog food. Normally, this would not be a problem as there is a grocery store down the street. But it is after 11pm and nothing is open and my dogs are looking at me as though they are starving to death.

Okay, so I look in the fridge. I can always substitute lunch meat or a hot dog to hold them over until morning.

Damn. Apparently, I am out of all processed meats. Apparently, my children and husband have eaten all of it over the course of two days. Oh well, they ARE on break.

I'll just check the pantry. There's always a few slices of bread, or potato chips or Cookie Crisp Cereal.

Uh oh. No gluteny goodness of any sort. I have tea and Grape Nuts. But I know from experience that dogs I've seen eat a dead turtle, crayons and cat feces will snub the Grape Nuts.

Fine. The turn-around should yield something. I always have a can of salsa or at least some peanut butter. That should do the trick. It just has to hold them until morning, when I can get them something.

Hmmmm...apparently, someone had the munchies and ate everything under there, leaving a couple of seriously expired cans of peas and a moldy bagel.

The bassett starts whining piteously. The pug growls while staring at the empty bowl (not easy to do with her eyes on top of her head like that) and the fluffy dog is playing dead (I hope). Crap.

I've got some shopping to do...nothing like Wal-Mart at midnight...

The Assassin