Wednesday, May 05, 2010

A Really Long Post About 12 Year Old Girls...

It's a 12yr old's birthday with 6 girls, I think, what could go wrong?

Well, okay, so nothing went wrong, per se. It was a drama-packed party. The trip to the mall was interesting because 1) I misjudged the number of girls to seats in the van ratio - forcing one child to sit on the floor in the back (do not turn me will make me angry) and 2) I heard things like this, "Shut up EVERYONE! I have something important to say!" (car goes quiet) "Bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"

My friend, Michele, went with me and was a good sport considering she is used to boys and not girls. These particular girls have been in my girl scout troop since kindergarten, so I was prepared for the occaisional dramatic "emergency." In fact, we were shopping in Dillards (and doing quite well, I might add) when we got this text message; (all of the following is text except for Michele's comments. Apparently, I read each one aloud - go figure)

Meg: We have a problem.

Me: What?

Meg: Well, um, Kelly 1 and 2 are mad at us.

Me: Why?

Meg: Bcuz of bathroom confusion.

Me: Bathroom confusion?

Meg: Meet us outside jcpenney.

Me: (in no hurry to leave really cute sweater set) What happened?

Michele: Shouldn't we go see what happened?

Me: Oh no. It will change in 2 minutes and I have to buy this cute tote bag.

Meg: Kelly had to go to the bathroom really bad but we made her wait and she just went with Kelly anyway and we didn't all stay together and we found each other and now we are all mad.

Me: Um, okay. So don't be mad. It's a party.

Michele: Are you sure we shouldn't go?

Me: (looking at the most adorable shoes) Nah. They probably worked it out during the course of that overly long text.

Meg: Well, they ignored us earlier for about an hour.

Me: Are you all together?

Meg: No. Kelly 1 and 2 just left.

Me: (Actually taking an interest now) What? You were supposed to stay together!

Michele (from dressing room): Maybe we should go...

Me: No. It's okay. I have Kelly 2's cell number. Dammit, she's ignoring the calls. (Texting) Kelly, reply to this message or I call your mom.

Kelly 2: Okay.

Me: Make up, okay? It's a party for christsake.

Kelly 2: We are back with them.

Meg: Kelly 1 just told us if she had her period she would've killed us.

Me: Um, what?

Meg: Kelly 1 is now crying! JUST COME PLEASE!

Michele (emerging from the dressing room in a very flattering red blouse): She's crying? Maybe we should go.

Me (shoving her back inside to try green shirt): They cry all the time.


Me (to Michele): Hey, she used all caps this time.

Michele: Okay, let's just go.

Me: Trust me, it will be fine by the time we get there.

Meg: Kelly 1 won't come with us and Kelly 3 is throwing up in the bathroom.

Me: Kelly 3 always throws up when she eats weird combinations. (Looking at Michele) Fine. Meet us at Younkers.

Meg: No, meet us at jcpenney.

Me: (sigh of a thousand martyrs) Fine.

By the way, when we got there, they were all best friends again. Imagine that? I never did find out what was meant by "bathroom confusion," although maybe that's for the best. When I asked them what the whole thing was all about, they didn't know.

The rest of the night passed in a blur, basically because of one very yummy bottle of Malbec.

The piece de la resistance came at 2am. I woke up to find six girls standing over me.

Me: Yes?

Kelly 2: Do we have anymore duct tape? We used it all.

A few hours later they woke me again.

Kelly 3: I made a list of the 19 different donuts you can get us at Dunkin' Donuts.

Me: Wow. There really are 19 different donuts here. Wait, what does "NO CAKE" here in pink mean?

Kelly 3: No cake donuts. The other kind.

Me: Aren't all donuts cake?

All girls: NO!

To their credit, I handed the list they made to the kid behind the counter and he said he could do it. I threw in a couple of "cake" chocolate donuts for me. After all, I think I earned it.

Here's what they were doing with the duct tape:

They were duct taping each other into Meg's new tv box and sliding whoever was inside all over the house.

I can NOT make this stuff up, people.

-The Assassin


Anonymous said...

wow. 12 year old girl drama is something I do not miss about that age. I do however miss being able to eat whatever I wanted and not get fat.

Duct taping people in boxes is pretty harmless. It'd be much cooler if they taped themselves on the ceiling!

Leslie Langtry said...

I would be REALLY impressed if they could do that!

Becky LeJeune said...

Ah, the joys of being a pre-teen/teenager! I think I might actually miss those days. Drama aside, it would be pretty fun to still fit in a tv box and then pig out on donuts!

Leslie Langtry said...

I hadn't thought of that, Becky. Hmmm...maybe I'll try that tonight after a few glasses of wine. I'll have to fight the cats for the box first.

Roxanne Rhoads said...

Too funny

I had a house full of 11 year old girls last weekend for my daughter's b-day

Lots of giggles and screams- no way in hell we were going anywhere-had five girls all together, not so much on the cell phones texting but playing with their DS and DSis-which I guess they can use to send messages to each other

Sunday we were exhausted because the girls were up all night Saturday especially after my oldest sun decided to keep scaring them.

Leslie Langtry said...

Roxanne, I highly recommend shipping the little brother away for the day and night!

Kristi said...

I feel your pain as I have a 12 yr old girl too. There is so much drama involved in their friendships that it's exhausting.

Her Girl Scout troop is going to a hotel for this weekend. That's what they wanted to do with their cookie money.

Hotel with hot tub and pool, pedicures and chinese buffet for dinner.

Last year was a blast when they weren't fighting.

Leslie Langtry said...

What's up with the fighting anyway? They never remember why they were mad in the first place!

Suzan Harden said...


The "out of duct tape" at 2 AM would have worried me. In my case, GK would probably have used it to "wax" the beagle.

Leslie Langtry said...

LOL! A naked beagle! Actually, I was surprised when they asked me that. Fortunately, we didn't have anymore so I went back to sleep. Maybe I should look for the electrical tape when i get home...

Gillian Layne said...

OMG, this post is better than blood pressure meds...I haven't laughed so much in two days. And the comments are as good as the post!

I'm a Mom of three girls. You were SO right to ignore them. :)

Leslie Langtry said...

That's what I thought! Thanks Gillian!!!

Terri Osburn said...

My kiddo turns 11 this summer and I can't believe there is this much drama already. Kids *dating* and girl 1 said she'd never like him because he was with girl 2 but then girl 1 stole him and acted like it was no big deal. I know it only gets worse and I'm already exhausted from it.

Last week she annouced she and A were no longer friend because A got mad just because she voiced her opinion, which she's entitled to. I explained they would be friends the next day, she argued, they were friends the next day.

I still think it would have been hysterical if you woke up the next morning duct taped to your bed.

Leslie Langtry said...

That would've been pretty funny. I'd hope if they did that they would at least take a picture for this blog...

Jenyfer Matthews said...

My husband invited a friend over to play with our 9 year old daughter while I was away one weekend and then worried whether the friend had fun because all they did was huddle together and talk. I told him that is what girls DO :)

I'm looking at throwing a birthday party in the next month for daughter - can I hire you to come and manage it??? Pretty please?