Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Klaatu Barata Nictoe...


Stephen Hawking said last week that when extra terrestrials visit Earth, we should be afraid...very afraid. Now, I've seen Independence Day, and The Day The Earth Stood Still (both versions). I remember those damned aliens making Richard Dreyfus build an escarpment out of his mashed potatoes. I've seen V (both versions). And I think Hawking might be onto something here.


I mean, who really thinks aliens will hide in our shed, eating our Reece's Pieces, or that they will hang out, playing music at the aforementioned escarpment (notice that in Close Encounters, we never really saw what happened to the humans who got onto the space ship. Pssst...How to Serve Humans was a cookbook on the Twilight Zone.


So with all these ominous, movie aliens and Hawkings advice, you'd think we would be cautious about interacting with what's out there, right? WRONG. Here is what NASA sent into space to let others know who we are:








I know what you are thinking...well, what I was thinking when I found this. First of all, NASA send this map at the bottom to let them know we are the third planet from the sun. Here we are! Right here! Come and suck up our resources! Aim your Death Star here!


But what really concerns me is the human forms in the image. First of all, the man is waving "hello" in a friendly manner. How do we know aliens are friendly? How do we know we aren't actually flipping them off? We don't know what their body language (or if they have bodies) is? There are nations where you cannot show the sole of your shoe without offending. What makes us think that the "hey, how ya doin" wave will mean the same thing in Klingon?


But the worst transgression, in my mind, is that NASA chose to depict humans naked. Oh, it's not for the reason you think. I don't care if aliens know how our genitals are attached. No, the thing that worries me is that we are basically telling them, "Hey! Our bodies are soft, weak, vulnerable and delicious! C'mon down!"


We can all thank NASA for sending this into space and demonstrating to the tentacled, giant-headed aliens how to find and kill us. I think we need to come up with something else. And I'm taking suggestions.

What do you think?


The Assassin







9 comments:

MsHellion said...

As if I didn't have enough to worry about, Leslie!

Zita said...

I'm guessing the aliens are saying "Hey, let's check out that new take out place on Sol-3. This menu looks yummy! Too bad they don't deliver yet."

We should be sending out films like Independence Day, Transformer 2, and War of the Worlds, that show aliens just what will happen to them if they dare show up to try to steal our resources. Or, we could just continue to pollute indiscriminately until no self-respecting alien would want our planet. That'll show 'em!

Leslie Langtry said...

Sorry Hellie. Zita's right! Let's do that!

TerriOsburn said...

That poor guy. You've got to feel sorry for whatever NASA dude modeled for that. They could have embellished a little bit at least.

If I was on a road trip and saw that sign at the edge of some new town, I'd go around, so maybe this isn't such a bad thing.

But I still say the aliens know all about us and pass the word never to stop here. We are the armpit of the universe. The redneck-truck stop-petting zoo known light years away as the planet to avoid at all costs.

Leslie Langtry said...

Well Terri, that makes me feel somewhat better... ;)

Sandy said...

LOL I'm laughing now but you may have something here, CC. I'm worried.

Helena Carlo said...

Terri, I had the same thought! Poor guy! :)

Tori Lennox said...

I have to agree with Terri. Why would they WANT to come here? LOL!

Leslie Langtry said...

because we are delicious, naturally.