Friday, May 21, 2010

Rant Update

Sooo…. Remember that sprinkler from last week?  The one that pelts our house like a freakin fire hose every night at 3am and 4:30am?  Well, I did, in fact, get some very sly neighborhood kids to break it for me.  They took the entire head clean off.  Bwahahaha.  I was looking to a nice peaceful night’s sleep.

Then at 3am the fire hose started.  Apparently when it’s broken, it still spews water.  It just doesn’t rotate like it’s supposed to.   Guess where it spews?  Directly at my bedroom!  Instead of running back and forth, it spray directly at my bedroom.  Or, more accurately, the metal storm drain running down the length of my bedroom wall.  So, now instead of a fire hose, it’s a fire hose hitting a metal drum.  Fab.

It’s been three days since I’ve slept.  This is what I get for directing young children to destroy property.

I saw the landlord lurking around our place today and almost grabbed him to talk about my sprinkler woes.  Only I wasn’t dressed and figured he wouldn’t appreciate the early morning moon, so I will be emailing him tomorrow.  If that doesn’t work, I’m gonna pay the kids to break the water main to the neighbor’s house.  That’s not wrong, is it?  

~Trigger Happy Halliday


Zita said...

Even if it is wrong, I think you can use sleep deprivation as a defence, can't you? I mean, if the courts will allow PMS. Hey! How about a combination of the two? You'd win any law suit for sure!

Or maybe you should have grabbed the landlord this morning after all. Some men are very enthusiastic about the moon, even in the morning.

Kathy Bacus said...

Just two words come to mind, Gemma, if I was in your sleep-deprived shoes: adequate provocation.

~Bullet Hole~

Maggie Rivers said...

Slipping as soft as a rabbit's footsteps upon the fresh cut grass of her neighbor's lawn, she pulls a hammer from the pocket of her housecoat.

Stay tuned for Chapter 2 to find out what she does with that hammer!