Friday, September 04, 2009

I'm a melon!

When I first found out I was pregnant, I signed up at this cool baby site that sends you weekly emails to update you on your baby’s progress. I noticed about week seven that every week they would tell the baby’s size in terms of fruit or vegetables. It started out as a raisin, then an apricot, a head of cauliflower, etc. Well, this week, I finally hit the melon stage. I’m a Crenshaw melon! (I know, very specific. But I’m amazed they could come up with 40 different fruits and veggies at all.)

Also in this week’s update (I’m at 36 weeks for anyone who’s keeping track) was a list of first time parent follies. I laughed so hard at some of these that I almost peed my pants. (Okay, I almost pee my pants all the time now. But that’s beside the point…) So, here are a couple of my fav stories from poor sleep-deprived parents at

"The day my son, Mason, was born, my husband did his first-ever diaper change. He was so proud. But when he picked Mason up, our son urinated on him. The little cut-out in the front of the diaper for the belly button stump was too far down, and Mason's little pee-pee was sticking out. My husband was so embarrassed."
— Brandi

"In the first couple weeks after I had Zach, I was absolutely exhausted and trying to recover from a c-section. I was taking Percoset for the pain, which made me tired and a little loopy. So, one night it came time for his 2 a.m. feeding. I always change his diaper before feeding him, so I followed my routine as usual and went back to sleep. But when I got up the next morning to change him, I noticed he was wearing two diapers instead of one — his dirty one from the middle of the night and a clean one right on top of it."
— Amy

"When our son was 3 weeks old, we decided it was time to get out for a day with him. We packed bags all morning, trying to make sure we didn't forget anything. Extra formula, a whole bag of diapers (just in case) — you name it, we had it. We loaded everything up and trudged down the three flights of stairs to the car, but when we got to the bottom, we looked at each other and said, 'Where's the baby?!' We had left him in the apartment! We raced back up the stairs at 90 miles an hour — and found him sitting in the car carrier sound asleep. We laughed until it hurt, and never left him behind again."
— Sandy

"When Nicky was several weeks old, I was driving home from a hike with friends. I couldn't figure out why he was fussing in the car since he usually loved the motion. Finally, when I stopped at a red light, I turned around and saw the car seat on its side. I'd strapped him in, but not the seat! Everything turned out fine, but it was a definite 'Bad Mom Day' for me. I never made that mistake again."
— Mollie

Anyone else have some "doh!" parenting moments to share? I will admit here my worst was probably taking my son out for his first walk. We have a jogging trail near our house, so I bundled him into the stroller and set out for a nice relaxing walk. Or so I thought. About ten minutes into he started screaming. Those top-of-their-lings, the-world-is-going-to-end screams. I picked him up, and, thankfully, he stopped. After a few minutes, I put him back in the stroller – more screaming. Picked him up – fine. He would not be put down. And I couldn’t steer the stroller with one hand. I was stranded. So, I ended up sitting down at the side of the trail waiting a full hour until he fell asleep so that I could walk the ten minutes back home. This time around, I will definitely be sure to go walking with a buddy!

~Trigger Happy Halliday


Christie Craig said...

I'll bet you and your mellon are adorable!

Love the funny stories.

We had my son home for about a week when we took him to the doctor. Hubby, a first time father, was trying so hard. He belted my son into this car seat and we took off. A redlight caught him off guard and he had to stop short. The car seat, toppled over and landed in the floorboard. Hubby had belted my son in the seat, but had forgotten to buckle the seat into the car. My son, hung upside down. He was fine. Never even cried, but to this day I give hubby a hard time.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane.


Tracy Madison said...

What great stories! I have one...

When my daughter was about six weeeks old, we made our first foray into the world all by ourself (meaning, no husband, no grandma, just me and my little girl).

At the time, we lived in this tiny (tiny!) city that only had three grocery stores, four fast food restuarants, and one mall. The mall was shaped like a capital I, with a large Montgomery Ward at one end, various little stores in the hallway, and a K-Mart on the other end.

So, anyway, it was a Monday morning, which meant there were hardly any folks at the store, and this was long enough ago (18 years) that it was before the day of everyone (anyone!) having a cell phone.

Anyway, after our thirty minutes of shopping, we returned to the car. I unlocked her side, strapped her infant car seat in, and pushed the lock on the door before slamming it shut.

With my car keys lying on the seat next to her carseat. And yes, all of the doors were locked. I panicked, because I couldn't go inside the mall to call for help and leave her there (obviously), and the parking lot was pretty much empty. mother-in-law happened to show up. Seriously. Of all people, it was my mother-in-law...who had no idea I was going to be there, and ended up parking on the same end of the lot.

Story ends well. She called the police, they opened my door, and my daughter? Well, she slept through the entire ordeal.

BUT I've never forgotten it!

TerriOsburn said...

Isn't it amazing how in 10 short years there are these new fun resources to go with the pregnancy? Ten years ago (when I was pregnant) I didn't even own a computer. LOL!

I remember the one and only time I left kiddo with her dad while I had to work during a weeknight. She couldn't have been but a couple months old. When I walked in the door, she was screaming like crazy and he looked totally freaked out. He handed her off as quickly as possible saying he had no idea what was wrong with her.

I quickly surmised that the problem was the nasty stuff that had leaked out of her diaper all the way up her back to her neck. How could you not notice that?!?!

Suzan Harden said...

Most of my funny stories happened during my pregnancy, like covering for a lawyer friend at a divorce hearing. I'd only talked to the client on the phone, and he asked how to find me at the court house the next morning. I laughed and said I'll be the pregnant white chick in a black dress and tan jacket.

I'd just checked in with the court clerk when a man walks up to me and says, "Holy shit! You weren't kidding." I was 36 weeks along.

Leah Hultenschmidt said...

Oh, I can only imagine what kind of stories The Assassin has. ;-)

At least children are pretty darn resilient.

Brandy said...

The only one I can remember clearly is that baby gates are a necessity when babies start to crawl. Especially if you have pets. We have cats. *G* Our son thought it was great fun to crawl in the kitchen and try the dry cat food. ICK!

Refhater said...

I was born in vua emergency c-section in the mid 70's. My mother was given meds to knock her out for the procedure. (Note that she is very sensative to pain meds.)

Upon "awaking" she asked what day it was and proceded to fill out the baby book and birth announements. What she didn't realize was that it was 3 days later when she "woke up" and had writen the wrong date on everything. I was 12 before mom could get my birthday right and I have white out in my baby book.

Another funny story is about my niece. She had just learned to crawl and had just gotten to the point where she could eat solid foods. Her favorites were the x-shaped fruit flavored snacks for babies. One day she crawled from the living room into the kitchen and got quiet. (Never a good sign!) We went to check on her only to discover that she and the cat were sharing the cat food. The cat food was the same x shape and size as her puff treats.

Gemma Halliday said...

So funny! I'm taking what-not-to-do notes.

And, yes, I sadly do have a locking-the-baby-in-the-car story, too. My poor kid. I played peek-a-boo through the back windows to entertain him for a full hour while waiting for two different tow truck guys to come before one could pop the lock.