Meet Muppet. She's the newest member of the Assassin Family. Muppet is six months old, weighs 4 pounds and I'm pretty sure if you cut her, she'd bleed cotton and gumdrops, unicorns and rainbows.
After nearly a week with her, I think I've got some insight into her empty little brain pan. And here's what I think she is thinking 99% of the time;
1)I LOVE YOU! AND Grass! AND Cat Puke! AND Bubonic Plague! AND Neo-Conservatives! AND...
2)YOUSAIDMYNAME!YOUSAIDMYNAME!YOUSAIDMYNAME! YOUSAIDMYNAME! YOUSAIDMYNAME! YOUSAIDMYNAME! YOUSAIDMYNAME!
3)Maybe it I pull on the leash hard, I'll throw up over and over! Ack! Urp! Yay!
4)Why does she scream like that? It's only a shoe/purse/steak/leather sofa/antique chair/Fred Rogers/Van Gogh's original Starry Night/the remains of Amelia Earhart...(insert your favorite here)
This past week was when we were up seeing SGT. Assassin at Ft. Dix. My husband was giving our 8-yr old boy a few lessons in traditional military philosophy;
SGT A: "You know, Jack, an army moves on its belly and walks on its feet. Do you understand what that means?"
Jack: (After thinking for a second) "The Army is made up of penguins?"
I wish I'd thought of that.
All the way to New York, the kids went on and on about how they HAS to see the Empire State Building. I think it was the only thing they knew about NYC - which makes me look bad as a parent. So, after spending about $100 (that's with the military discount, folks) and an hour or so to get to the Observation Deck, this was the conversation we had;
Margaret: "That's it? The Sears Tower is higher."
Jack: "I'm afraid of heights. Can we go now?"
Margaret: "Why is Daddy shaking his head and crying?"
Hope your week is somewhat more...um...something.
The Assassin
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Some Random Thoughts From A Disorganized Mind...
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13 comments:
Please ignore typos. It was late...and I was drinking.
*LOL* OMG, the penguins! That's hysterical!
I was decidedly underwhelmed by NYC myself. It's the opposite of how it's portrayed on TV. It's the only place I know of that I've been to, that I thought, "Why is everything so much smaller than how it looks on TV?"
No other place: LA, Boston, Panama City, Grand Cayman...none of them seemed as tiny in scope as NYC did.
Penguins. That's too funny, and even more so to come out of child who's thinking honestly.
I understand the puppy thing. Mine is all, OHWOOD!MUSTCHEWMUSTCHEWMUSTCHEW!LEAVESPLINTERSINCARPET!YEA!
Bless your heart - this is the funniest thing I've read all week. Love the Muppet pic too. What a cutie. Thanks for the morning pick-me-up.
Welcome to Muppet. If she weighs only 4 pounds now, what will she weigh as an adult.
If she has only discovered cat puke, you still have the pleasure of her finding out about cat treats (otherwise known as the litter box). Eeew but true!
I always laugh when the vet asks me if the cat ever vomits. How the heck should I know? My dogs clean up practically before it hits the floor. I swear they hear the first heave and stand over the poor cat. I personally never see anything.
She's some kind of llahsa-poodle mix so I don't think she'll get too big. As for cat "stuff" why is it so appetizing? My only theory is that cats are so finicky they actually add flavor. Dogs will eat a stick.
I never would have thought of that penguins thing. Genius!
Cute puppie and the guesses on what he's thinking are probably exactly right. I have a new kitten and he's either thinking, "MUST SHRED HER SKIN!" or "I'm going to get you eventually, my pretty" (thought while sitting on the floor beneath the bird cage.
I meant "what SHE'S thinking.." Really, I can retain information for more than 2 seconds.
Muppet is adorable! It almost looks like she is smiling in that picture.
The puppy is so cute!
She is cute. And extremely loveable. It's hard to get mad at her when she chews on the mail.
Leslie,
She's beautiful. I've got the get-a-dog itch, but I'm trying to fight it.
And I love how your kids reacted to the Empire State Building. It's so typical of kids.
CC
ROFL, I got the hiccups laughing so hard. This blog is priceless. I always know to come here for laughter!
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