Can you Pass me a Tissue?...

WINNER! WINNER!

Billie Jo and Edie Ramer, you both have won a copy of GOTCHA! Send me your addresses at christie @ christie (-) craig.com

Congrats and thank you all sooooo much for visiting. Make sure you come pop over to the Book Addict, link is below on Monday. Then come back here next Tuesday for another contest here and two more links for other blog sites where I'll be hosting.


Contest! Contest! Contest!

Today I will be giving away a signed copy of GOTCHA! along with Christie Craig notebook and a pen. So make sure you post and make sure you come back tomorrow to see if you won. Plus, today I’m guest blogging over at Writing Playground, as well as Wicked Authors and I’ll be giving away the same prizes over there. So please pop over and visit and laugh. You know I’ll make you laugh! And . . . that’s right, there’s more. On June 8th I’ll be at the Book Addict with a funny post offering prizes as well. Oh, to win a basket of books and goodies, pop over to http://www.dorchesterpub.com/Dorch/SpecialFeatures.cfm?Special_ID=2688 to read a funny post and get info on that contest. Oh, come on, you like free stuff and you like to laugh!

Can you Pass me a Tissue?...
Oh come on, why are you running away?

Do you know that Hallmark commercial where a woman, a prior student, visits the retiring teacher, and as she leaves she hands the crusty ol’ man a thank you card, and before she gets out the door, he asks her, “So what did you end up being? A doctor?” And she answers in that soulful voice, “No, a teacher.”

For me, it’s like bam, instant tears. I’m standing there crying off my mascara that took me fifteen minutes to get on without clumping. And I’m not happy! Oh, and I think Hallmark is proud of their mascara smearing, too. I personally think they buy stock in Maybelline Great Lash.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not an anti-crier. Crying in itself isn’t all bad. Sometimes, crying can even be cathartic. I’ll admit that I’ve had a time or two when a good cry made me feel better. But, honestly, I’m not big on crying. I’d much rather laugh at my problems.

Now, I have friends who love to cry. They go out of their way to get a good cry. Give them a sad movie or a tear-jerker of a book and a box of tissues and they call that living. Me, I call it leaking. And I’m talking serious bodily fluids.

Tell me a sad story, give me a glimpse of someone else’s grief, or slap a Hallmark commercial on the TV, before I can wrestle the remote control from my husband’s hands, and it happens. First, I feel the heaviness in my chest. It’s like a labor pain, or a bad menstrual cramp of the heart, then the knot of emotion climbs up my throat and crowds out my tonsils making it hard to breathe. (Hey, we humans need to breathe!) Then the stinging pain starts crawling up my sinus cavities. That’s when my chin and bottom lip start to quiver and my vision goes from 20/20 to watery. Then the crap hits the fan when my nose starts leaking. Yup, before my tears ever start to fall, before the Great Lash starts melting down my face, my nostrils produce enough mucus to kill a cactus. Oh, then I go instantly puffy. Why, I give Rudolf a running in the red nose department. And if it’s a really deep-felt cry, then this noise, sort of like a baby bird’s last hungry cry before it croaks, starts bubbling out of me. Let me tell you, I don’t cry pretty!

I envy women who get the slightest little tear in their eyes and people everywhere open up their arms and say, “Ahh, come here. Let me give you a hug.”

Me, when I cry, the puffiness, red nose, and did I forget to tell you about the splotchiness, it all happens so quickly, and when the nose starts overflowing, and plainly put, there are no hug offers being made. People start backing away and pulling out their antiviral lotion. Yup, it’s almost as if I’m allergic to crying.

Those of you who have read my books might remember Sue of Divorced, Desperate and Dating and her non-pretty crying issues. Yup, that’s pretty much me in a nut shell.

I used a bit of my crying issues in my latest book, GOTCHA!, too. My heroine Macy Tucker’s mother is a serious crier. Macy’s mom’s doctor blames it on her being menopausal. Macy believes you can chunk the opausal from the word and just blame it on men. Deep down, Macy knows she has a bit of a weakness for tears herself. As a matter of fact, one of her biggest fears is that she’ll wind up like her mom, co-dependent and on a fourteen-year crying jag.

From Macy’s point of view, men (AKA reasons to cry) are like a great day on the beach. It might be fun while you’re there, but sooner or later you’re gonna get burned. She’s been burned, hurt, had her heart ripped out and given to a small dog with tiny sharp teeth to use as a chew toy. And she’s cried. Boy howdie, has she cried.

But Macy, she knows her weakness and has set limits. Two tissues. That’s right, two tissues are all she allows herself, and all she’ll allow any crying individual. I mean, she’ll hug ya, sigh, but after two tissues, it’s pull your big girl panties up and move on. Macy, much like myself, would rather laugh at her problems than cry over them.

And while I respect that not everyone deals with issues like this, below are a few sayings that I found on the benefits of laughter versus tears. People ask me all the time why I love writing humor and I have to say that the below sayings answer that question:

* Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the other guy has an even better sob story.
* Laughter is like changing a baby’s diaper – it doesn’t permanently solve any problems, but makes things more acceptable for a while.
* If you laugh at it you can live with it.
* Blessed is the man who can laugh at himself, for he will never cease to be amused.
* Try to make the world laugh; it already has enough to cry about.
* Take time to laugh – it is the music of the soul.
* Your ulcers can’t grow while you’re laughing.

Here’s to laughter, guys! So tell me, do you cry pretty? Are you more of a laugher or a crier? What makes you cry? What makes you laugh? Come on, share a little. I’m giving away a copy of GOTCHA to one lucky commenter. If you have a copy of GOTCHA and would rather receive a copy of one of my other novels, I can substitute it.

Crime Scene Christie

Below is another contest from a dear friend of mine:

STROKE OF GENIUS CONTEST
Want to see your name on the acknowledgment page of Emily Bryan's next book? Here's your chance! Emily is giving her readers an opportunity to name an important secondary character in her upcoming STROKE OF GENIUS. The winner will receive signed copies of Emily Bryan's entire backlist (including A CHRISTMAS BALL anthology, due out Sept 29th). PLUS you'll be mentioned on the acknowledgment page of STROKE OF GENIUS. The contest begins June 1st and entries close July 1st. For more information, visit http://www.emilybryan.com/.