Whispered Sweet Nothings

Contest: What has some man said to you that made your heart sigh, or made you snort in laughter? The most romantic and unromantic will win prizes.
Oh...Virginia and CrystalGB are both winners of an autographed copy of Would-Be Witch. Email me at website address. christie (@) christie-craig . com



February is the month of love, chocolate, roses and red undies. It’s the month of whispered sweet nothings that will melt your heart . . . or one-liners that send you running off, snorting your Dr. Pepper through your nose because of the need to laugh at some man’s obnoxious, underhanded attempt to get you naked.

God love ‘em. Sometimes I think men were created just to amuse us and offer us something to talk or blog about. But girls, we gotta stop being so hard on them. Seriously, we all know that men just don’t excel at showing their emotions and in most cases, they’re even worse at putting those emotions into words. Now, this doesn’t mean we should stop laughing at them, but just give ‘em a little break every now and then.

I’m not saying that some men aren’t champions at talking their way into a woman’s panties--men who whose sweet words are meant to melt the bra hooks right off of us. But even if they are hound dogs, wanting just one thing, you have to give ‘em credit. A man who knows how to liquefy a woman’s heart with a good line is a man who has worked at his craft. He knows what a woman wants and how to deliver. Well, the words anyway; why, just because a man can deliver a line, doesn’t mean he can really . . . deliver.

Nor am I saying that ALL sweet nothings are spoken with ulterior motives. Once in a while a man may just have something sweet to say. I’m not going to attempt to guess the odds of that really happening, but it does happen.

However, even a few verbally talented men with ulterior motives are worthy of our affection. Face it, there are decent men who care about us, but still want to get us naked. I won’t lie, this pretty much describes my hubby, and probably ever romance hero I’ve ever given life to in my novels.

In my next book, Gotcha!, released in June, Jake Baldwin is always putting his foot in his mouth. And my heroine Macy is surprised he hasn’t lost a tonsil as he swallowed the dang thing. Like the time Macy, who is determined not to fall for Jake, tells the half-naked hero, “I’m not sleeping in this bed with you with only a thin pair of cotton boxers between me and your best friend.”

Jake just grins and says, “He could be your best friend, too.”

Macy’s always accusing Jake of being crude and God love that man but he thinks it’s a compliment. (And for that matter, don’t most men?)

Ahh, but you gotta love Jake, and Macy does. Why? Well, if we’d be completely honest with ourselves, we’d admit that we all would like our man to want to get us naked. We just want them to express it in a loving, less crass, from-the-heart manner. And to express it when we want them to express it—with the right words--and after they’ve taken out the trash and told us how special we are. (Hey, it doesn’t mean we’re difficult, we just know what we want.)

Why, my hubby has said a few things to me through the years that left me thinking I’d marry that man again in a snap. Then there are the times when I start to think that, but he goes and says/does something else that has me questioning if men and women aren’t two different species and should never hook up.

For example, this past week, the day before Valentine’s Day, he asks me out right. “Baby, you are so good to me. You name what you want for Valentine’s Day and it’s yours.” I think about it and tell him I want a coupon for $250 to use as a shopping spree before I go to upcoming writing conferences. He nods and says, “It’s yours.”

But when I get the homemade coupon, it reads. “To my love, $250 to use as you so see fit—and if you want to use it for bills or groceries, that’s okay, too.”

Ahh, but let me tell you, he’s said some very romantic things to me, too. Some of them have even brought a tear to my eye. About a month a go hubby came in and said he’d read something online that appeared in Women’s Health magazine that was so true " Every man wins the lottery when he gets a woman to love him" Hubby shot me a sweet smile and said, “I won the lottery.”

Just last night, Hubby came in and gave me a hug. It was a little tighter and lasted a little longer than usual. When he let go, he said, “When I pulled into the driveway, I saw our neighbor pull into his. When I got out of the car to walk into my house, I saw our neighbor walking into his. And it occurred to me that my homecoming was going to be heck of a lot sweeter than his.”

My neighbor’s wife died last week. Damn! I got a tear in my eye, both for my neighbor and for knowing hubby was genuinely happy I was here.

Yup, every now and then my man knows the right thing to say and do—not that he doesn’t manage to screw up sometimes. A couple of weeks ago when I read him my Valentine’s blog about what love was to me, the man cried. Seriously, he had tears in his eyes. My heart swelled with emotion, then he said, “Hey, you want to go upstairs? I have a rooster I want you to meet.”

I gaped at him. “That was so crude! How could…how could you say something so crass when you just got tears in your eyes at something sweet I wrote?”

His answer, “Well, that’s why I said it. You threatened my masculinity when you made me tear up, and I figure this helps me get it back.”

MEN! Can you see how all my heroes are created in his likeness?

Okay, so there you have it. What has your man said to melt your heart? What has he, or any man, said to you that made you snort Dr. Pepper through your nose?

I’ve got prizes for the most romantic sweet nothing and then the most unromantic. Both winners can choose from one of my novels, or if you have all those, I’m offering up Colleen Thompson’s novel, Head On or Gerry Bartlett’s novel, Real Vampires Get Lucky. Plus, there’s a little something extra. So, come on, play along.



Crime Scene Christie