Monday, February 23, 2009

Stupid Bosses

I promised you stupid bosses, and I don't want to fail to deliver. If you remember my post about stupid interviews, well that boss is also one of the most idiotic people I have ever worked for. Let's take a couple of minutes to talk about "David." David was the only person left after the merger of four companies that hadn't gotten a promotion to management yet, so they gave him one. Awful for his employees as he's not really qualified to manage anything including himself. David had to be the most inefficient person in the entire world and he spent most of his time assigining work then taking you off when you were halfway through and assigning you to something else. Now, with accounting, that's a HUGE waste of time. That means someone else has to "recreate" in their mind everything you've already done or start over or YOU have to recreate it in your mind when you pick it up again a week later. Accounting is not like doing a puzzle. You can't just pick up where you left off and everything's fine.

So he wasted our time all the time. We had this joke among the staff that he didn't even scratch his head efficiently. He had this reach over move that looked just like a monkey - yep, if he was scratching the left side of his head, he did it with his RIGHT hand. Picture it - right arm all the way over the top of the head, scratching the left side. Now do you get the monkey comment? One of the employees said one time she wondered how he scratched his _____ - from behind? (you get the idea)

In addition to many other issues, like asking you to specifically describe what was wrong with you when you called in sick (he stopped that one after the pregnant girl described something hanging out of her butt), and picking his nose and wiping the boogers on the underside of his desk, David would also do things like come down to the cafe when we were all eating and ask things like "can I sit with you, or are you talking about me?" To which I would always reply, "it's our lunch hour, David, why would we waste it talking about you?"

Fortunately, David was fired...but not for incompetence, or grossness, or even asking people personal questions about their bodily functions. No, David was fired for stealing a key to the VP's desk and going through his records one Saturday because he was afraid the other managers might be getting paid more than him. Another manager caught him, reported him to HR, and the rest is history. The real kicker - he was making MORE than the other managers.

Next week, I'll tell you about the VP and his ridiculous 2:00 am toilet bowl episode.

So what about you - stupid boss story to share?

Deadly DeLeon


Keri Ford said...

Okay, this isn't anywhere near as bad as you, but I've worked with the public since I was about 5. I mean I was RAISED with the public. My grandparents opened a store when I was little and I grew up in there.

When I was 21 or 22 (with, you know about 18 years of working with the public under my belt), I went to work at a bank. The boss told me I didn't work well with the public.

I NEVER figured out where he got that from. My customers liked me! And if they didn't, they were darn good pretenders then.

Terri Osburn said...

After working in offices for about 15 years, good bits of that as a temp, nothing in your story surprises me. I have some doozy bosses and some great ones.

My first boss in an office setting was one of those hateful female bosses with no kids, tons of uptight suits, and enough ambition to make Hilary look like a slacker. She cursed more than anyone I've ever worked with since (and I currently work with former sailors!). She would tell you something, call you an F-ing idiot when you did what she wanted, demand you change it and then end up having you go with the original version anyway. Could. Not. Win. I was happy to learn after I left that they refused to make her an exec and ended up letting her go.

The funny thing is, I probably learned everything I needed to know to be efficient in an office setting from that woman. Out of sheer necessity.

Suzan Harden said...

Actually my current boss is a lovely, efficient lady. One day, while understandably frustrated with an employee she eventually had to let go, she made the comment to me that we (the other employees) probably thought she was a b****. My reply, "You haven't made a pass at me, you don't do drugs, and you haven't asked me to do anything illegal. You're the top of my list for bosses."

Terry S said...

I had a boss once who was so controlling and paranoid that employee turnover was unbelievable. Average employee length of service was less than two months. I made it one year out of pure stubborness. To say he was universally hated by all employees would be an understatement. Picture thisOne day he comes out of the restroom with a 2 foot white tail coming out of the back of his trousers. Not one of the 40+ people there told him....not even his partner! I still laugh about that scene :)

Delia DeLeest said...

I had one that constantly undermined me. I was in charge of taking orders and putting them on the factory timetable. When all the available slots were full, we had to turn down orders, which I would politely and firmly do. They would try to wheedle a time slot - I would say no. Then they'd ask to talk to my manager, who'd squeeze them in somewhere. Everyone in the factory would be ticked at those of us in the office because they'd get stuck with tons of unwanted overtime. I was please to hear that after I quit, the company hired an efficiency expert to come in - his first act was to fire my old manager. HAH!

Christie Craig said...


I can just see this guy scratching his head like a monkey.

I'm just glad I don't have a boss, other than editors, but then again, I'm my own boss and I can be real B with an itch to myself.


Jana DeLeon said...

LOL Keri - well apparently he knew you and your work history far better than you did. :)

Jana DeLeon said...

terrio - I think I worked for her mother. But even worse, that woman was the "other" woman. If I'd known that before, I would NEVER have taken the job working for a whore.

Jana DeLeon said...

ROFLOL Suzan!!!! You make an excellent point!

Jana DeLeon said...

LOL Terry - There's something so pleasing when people like that make fools of themselves.

Jana DeLeon said...

Delia - YEA! About time someone realizes what that kind of so-called "management" does to employees. I guess some people think burn-out and turnover don't effect the bottom line. Stupid.

Jana DeLeon said...

LOL Christie - Yes, in some ways I'm the worst boss I ever worked for....but then the bottom of my desk IS safe from boogers. :)

Jenyfer Matthews said...

Most of the crappy bosses I've had have been promoted not for their leadership skills, but for their seniority. A system that makes for incompetent tyrants. Glad I'm my own boss now :)

Anonymous said...

Hey, Jana,

Love your stupid boss story. In my story, my boss wasn't so much stupid as just, well, strange. She had us leave early one night because "the exorcists will be here early and I want the place ready for the cleansing."

Um . . . exorcism? REALLY? lol.