I was thinking, if Sami from Stand By Your Hitman got a job writing greeting cards, it might go a little something like this:
They say blood is red
But in veins it looks blue
And the heart isn’t heart-shaped
What the fuck is that all about?
Happy Valentine’s Day Dumbass!
But in veins it looks blue
And the heart isn’t heart-shaped
What the fuck is that all about?
Happy Valentine’s Day Dumbass!
Happy Valentine's Day to you, my friends!
Love,
The Assassin
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17 comments:
HA!
I couldn't imagine writing Hallmark cards for a living. I think I could write maybe one or two and that's it. If I was lucky. Heck, I can't even write a decent short story. My short stories in jr. high were always too long. My Grandma now, she could do that stuff in a snap.
Go Towww.EverybodyNeedsALittleRomance.com To Win!
Hey, fuck head, its jen. I can rhyme. Just not this early in the morning. Catch me after a couple (6) beers and I am a fricken poet.
Keri, I KNOW! But wouldn't it be a fun gig?
Jennifer is my sister guys - she IS Sami. And she really talks like that.
Being single, that sounds like the perfect card for Valentine's Day to me. *g*
I'd buy that card!
Happy Valentines!
How about:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Shut the hell up
Before I freaking kill you!
I think that ones good for my co-workers. Can you tell they annoy me?
LOL! That is a good one. :)
Cute card I think I would buy that one for a few people I know!
Lol! I love it!
Actually my cousin wrote a line of greeting cards for Christmas. They were all dog themed, and I think now he's writing a children's book based on the dog characters from the cards.
LOL Only if I don't put my real name on it.
*ROTFLMAO*
Sami/Jennifer ROCKS!
How about:
Bet you wish you were my beer?
CC
So I finally feel good enough to unbury myself from used tissues and remove my ass from the couch to wander around the internet...
and I choke on my GreenTea.
Twice.
Thanks Leslie. And Sami/Jen.
In all serious though, I'd buy that card. Or hope someone bought it for me.
My husband finally caught on (a few weeks ago) to not get me sappy cards. This year the inside of my card said: "You selfish bitch."
I thought it was perfect!
:)
I want that card.
Happy v-day Assassin and Sami/Sister/Jennifer and Killer Fiction ladies.
I think we could form our own card company. But what would we call it?
How about "Assassin Cards; When you care enough to tell it like it is!"
I love snarky cards best. I once bought my hubby a card when we were still dating:
Don't kiss your honey when your nose is runny,
You may think it's funny,
but it's snot.
We still quote that one :)
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