Tuesday, February 10, 2009

What If Sami Worked For Hallmark?

I was thinking, if Sami from Stand By Your Hitman got a job writing greeting cards, it might go a little something like this:

They say blood is red
But in veins it looks blue
And the heart isn’t heart-shaped
What the fuck is that all about?

Happy Valentine’s Day Dumbass!

Happy Valentine's Day to you, my friends!

The Assassin


Keri Ford said...


I couldn't imagine writing Hallmark cards for a living. I think I could write maybe one or two and that's it. If I was lucky. Heck, I can't even write a decent short story. My short stories in jr. high were always too long. My Grandma now, she could do that stuff in a snap.

Go Towww.EverybodyNeedsALittleRomance.com To Win!

Unknown said...

Hey, fuck head, its jen. I can rhyme. Just not this early in the morning. Catch me after a couple (6) beers and I am a fricken poet.

Leslie Langtry said...

Keri, I KNOW! But wouldn't it be a fun gig?

Jennifer is my sister guys - she IS Sami. And she really talks like that.

Anonymous said...

Being single, that sounds like the perfect card for Valentine's Day to me. *g*

Refhater said...

I'd buy that card!

Happy Valentines!

Anonymous said...

How about:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Shut the hell up
Before I freaking kill you!

I think that ones good for my co-workers. Can you tell they annoy me?

CrystalGB said...

LOL! That is a good one. :)

Unknown said...

Cute card I think I would buy that one for a few people I know!

Gemma Halliday said...

Lol! I love it!

Actually my cousin wrote a line of greeting cards for Christmas. They were all dog themed, and I think now he's writing a children's book based on the dog characters from the cards.

catslady said...

LOL Only if I don't put my real name on it.

Hellie Sinclair said...


Sami/Jennifer ROCKS!

Christie Craig said...

How about:

Bet you wish you were my beer?


Mia Rose said...

So I finally feel good enough to unbury myself from used tissues and remove my ass from the couch to wander around the internet...
and I choke on my GreenTea.
Thanks Leslie. And Sami/Jen.
In all serious though, I'd buy that card. Or hope someone bought it for me.
My husband finally caught on (a few weeks ago) to not get me sappy cards. This year the inside of my card said: "You selfish bitch."
I thought it was perfect!

Sin said...

I want that card.

Happy v-day Assassin and Sami/Sister/Jennifer and Killer Fiction ladies.

Leslie Langtry said...

I think we could form our own card company. But what would we call it?

Refhater said...

How about "Assassin Cards; When you care enough to tell it like it is!"

Jenyfer Matthews said...

I love snarky cards best. I once bought my hubby a card when we were still dating:

Don't kiss your honey when your nose is runny,
You may think it's funny,
but it's snot.

We still quote that one :)