Tuesday, February 17, 2009

My Life According to Google





Well, I’ve been in a cave lately, a very deep, all consuming cave called deadline.

It sucks you in and the world around you ceases to exist. It’s you and the work.

I ignored friends, “Sorry guys. I know I’ve missed our lunches. Has anyone gotten a divorce, had an affair, or got arrested these last few months that I need to know about? Give me the highlights.”

I ignored family and family responsibilities. “See, Son, I told you no one would know that you’d worn the same underwear twice. And look at cha, you’re wearing those missed meals well.”

I ignored frivolous hygiene rituals. Seriously, if the French can get away with it, why can’t I?

And if I did venture out during deadline hell? Well, life may have went on around me, but I was unaware. When I wasn’t typing the words, I was thinking about the next chapter, or I was rewriting that last paragraph in my mind.

The words, “Get it Done” played through my head like a mantra. However, I’m thrilled to report that we did it. Faye Hughes and I just finished our book, Wild, Wicked and Wanton: 101 Ways to Love Like You Are in A Romance Novel. You can look for it on the shelf of your favorite bookstore in February of 2010. I have to tell you, this is the first non-fiction book I've written that is as wacky and funny as my fiction.

So now to get back into society. Well, at least for a week, because another deadline looms. Ahh, but I want to make the most of this reintroduction into my life. But first, I’ve got to know what I missed. I remember vaguely someone saying they’d read a blog about my book. Someone else said they spotted a new review.

So I do it--to catch up on life, to discover what I may have missed, I Googled myself. (And holy mother of pearls, was I surprised.)

I’ve been a busy girl! Let me share with you the highlights that I too have missed in my life, but Google filled me in on.

Christie Craig’s life according to Google:


Christie Craig puts on a tattoo on day four of the Republican National Convention.

I can only imagine where it is, because I can’t see it, and I gave up full length mirrors ten pounds ago. Jeepers, my husband is gonna be so upset when he finds out. It’s not the tattoo guys, oh, he doesn’t like tattoos, but he’s gonna go ballistic when he finds out that I attended the Republican Convention. Oh, yeah, I’m in trouble.

Committees reported making payments totaling $15,000 to Christie Craig for the following services:
· Events/Catering
· Legislative Session
· Purpose Not Determined
· Staff/Political Consultants


And just what was my job title? I mean… Just exactly what kind of an event did I cater? And “Legislative Session” we’ve all heard about the kind of sessions politicians are into. ”Purpose Not Determined” kinda leads me to think I did something I won’t be telling my mama about. (Or hubby!) And “Staff/Political Consultant,” this can’t be good! But hey, they’re not going to get me for tax evasions, I reported the income.


Store Manager Christie Craig said, “Wal-Mart’s community support goes far beyond charitable giving.

What the hell? I’m a manager of a Wal-Mart and I still can’t get my books in all their stores? What the heck is up with that?

Bike Tour riders make Ventura stop: Ventura: Ventura County Star
Rob Varela / Star staff Tom Harvey of Burbank, left, and Christie Craig pedal on Rincon Parkway toward Ventura in the California Coast Classic...


Hey, I’m glad I’m still staying in shape? Maybe I can get that full length mirror and find that tattoo now.

Providence Baptist Church
Christie Craig: Providence Baptist Church: College Ministry Intern
.

Well, I guess I had to repent for some things. I mean, I did attend that convention!!! But…shh, do they know I also write romance? And what about the side job of Event and Catering?

AND NOW FOR THE TOP NEWS THAT CONCERNS ME THE MOST:

Christie - Craig: Obituary - Upload photos – Your Announcement...
(16 January 2009) CHRISTIE — CRAIG. Suddenly, but peacefully, died at home, on 6th January, 2009.
(Sorry, BookMobiler!)

See what deadlines can do to you?

So…what’s new with you? Have you Googled yourself lately? Have you ever googled yourself? Let’s see who can find out the oddest, most wacky fact about themselves that they didn’t know.

Oh, come on, have a little fun.

Crime Scene Christie
P.S.
Next week I'm holding a contest. The most romantic, and non-romantic thing your boyfriend/hubby/guy who just wanted to get lucky ever said to you. So be thinking about it. I've got gifts for the most romantic, and non-romantic.

28 comments:

Kimberly Ivey said...

LOL! Christie, I haven't found myself "dead" yet on the internet, but I did find out that not only am I a chief investment officer of Vertex Capital (hey, I can't wait to see my first paycheck) but I'm also a bellydancer (by appointment only) and an African American porn star. No joke!

I wonder which of those professions I excel at? Just kidding.

Anyway, I haven't googled in a while so I was also surprised that I was involved in so many adventures.

Well . . . no wonder I'm so tired all the time!

Thanks for making my morning!

Now I'm off to do what I'm supposed to be doing . . . edits.

Take care~

Kimberly Ivey

Christie Craig said...

Kimberly,

You do lead a very full life girl!!! LOL.

Hey...maybe we attended the Republican convention together.

CC

Edie said...

LOL Your blogs always make me laugh. You lead an interesting life on Google.

I've googled myself, but my name is more unusual than yours and most of mine are actually me.

Nancy Kay Bowden said...

Wow, Christie, there is a lot of me out there. I could probably write a book! I'm also thinking I might want to visit myself in one of my cooler climates when the weather gets hot and muggy here in Houston.

I wonder if, on my query letters, I should tout my many degrees from all the universities and colleges I've attended--pretty impressive--but probably not.

It was interesting to see my many faces on facebook, too! :)

Christie Craig said...

Hi Edie,

Okay...you really need to work on getting some alternate lives. LOL!

Hey...thanks so much for stopping in today.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Nancy,

I like your idea of borrowing those degrees. I'm wondering if I can borrow some money from myself--hey, I made several thousands working with politians.

Thanks for popping in.

CC

terrio said...

Looks like my Google life is just as boring as the real thing. LOL! If I change the "i" to a "y" then I'm not only a real estate broker, I'm a pet friendly one. I thought that was nice. I did see where I gave some money to a campaign through that Huffington lady. Which party does that make me?

Michelle said...

That is too funny, I have googled myself in the past and found out I was a doctor in Minnesota. I googled myself right now and discovered I'm a singer, songwriter and photographer. Oh and I have not one but two profile's on Myspace, as well as Facebook.

I am on Facebook, but this wasn't my profile, not even close.

Christie Craig said...

Terrio,

I'm gonna to have to whip you into shape, girl! LOL!

I would hate to see what I've been up to if I changed a letter in my name.

Several years back, I had a porn site. People got to see sides of me that I'd never seen. Literally!

I don't know what party you might belong to. But I agree, if you are pet friendly, you have to be a great person!!

Thanks for playing along.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Michele,

I'll bet you miss the checks you got as a doctor now. Song writers are sort of like novel writers, money isn't nothing to write home mom about.

Thanks for joining in.

CC

Wendy Roberts said...

I die a lot on the web. I also seem to go to a lot of meetings that I need to boast about. Google alert is not always my friend he he

Blinky St. James said...

When I Google my fake name (Blinky St. James), It comes up with mostly me, but still some things I hadn't expected to see, like my comments on other people's blogs. lol! My pen name comes up with me, dog pictures in a snowy place, and a myspace page from austrailia where my nickname is apparently sexy cupcakes. Hahaha!! XD When I look up my real name, I'm on Facebook (didn't know that! ;P), Linkedin (although my page is no longer available haha), I am an undergraduate writer in England on suite101.com (I wish!), and on Myspace I'm a singer from Norwich. I outta listen to some of my music...I wonder if I'm any good? lol!
Yeah, I know...I've got too many names. :P

Tori Lennox said...

I'm really boring. Under my real name there's nothing that I didn't actually know about personally. As Tori, I'm apparently a surviving granddaughter of some woman who died in 2005. *g*

Christie Craig said...

Wendy,

LOL. You have my sympathies for your many passings! I know how you feel, I choked on my coffee when I read I'd died. Of course, it was nice to know it was peaceful.

Thanks so much for stopping in.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Blinky,

Yup, sometimes you can discover things about yourself, the real self, that you didn't expect to find. But hey...that's the business.

And hey, I'd hold on to the name sexy cupcakes! LOL!

Thanks so much for stopping by.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Oh, Tori!

I'm sorry you're not more exciting. Do you want to go post something insanely wild and crazy about you? LOL.

Thanks so much for stopping by.

CC

Delia DeLeest said...

Both my pen name and my real name are very unusual, so anything Google pulls up is me on both...unless it's my maternal great-grandmother, whose name I stole for a pen name.

If I Google my real first name alone, I found out it's real popular for porn stars and dogs...don't know what that says about me, or my parents.

Gemma Halliday said...

Those were priceless, CC!

I'm so boring. The only thing that comes up when I google me is me. Though, I was surprised to find myself on the "Gay, Lesbian, Transgender Literature" list. Apparently those cross dressers in KILLER IN HIGH HEELS are garnering me a whole new audience.

~Gemma

RM Kahn said...

Google says, I am a myotherapist and corrective exercise therapist in Santa Barbara (with a glowing recommendation from Goldie Hawn), I just got married in New York, an analyst at AT & T, and unfortunately I passed away in 2003.

In truth I probably could use a corrective exercise therapist, I have been married almost 14 years, the only things I seem to analyze lately is just how much everything else gets needed attention but my writing most of the time and I am very much alive.

Bravo on the new book!
Rose Kahn

Christie Craig said...

Delia,

((If I Google my real first name alone, I found out it's real popular for porn stars and dogs...))

LOL! You could say that you are one good-looking B with an itch! (SMILE)

Thanks so much for stopping in.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Gemma!

You go, girl. LOL. A reader is a reader!

CC

Christie Craig said...

RM,

LOL! Hey, if Goldie likes you, you gotta be good!!

Thanks so much for playing along!

CC

Refhater said...

I've also "Googled" myself with varying results. Some accurate, some way out there.

The most interesting thing I found is that there is another person in the world (Canada) with the exact same name as mine. This girl's first and last name are spelled exactly the same as mine. It's odd considering that my name (Joelle) isn't what is considered "normal." I even found her on Facebook and she looks similar to what I do.

Christie Craig said...

Rfhater,

Hmmm...and how well do you know your daddy?

I got an email from a fan the other day and she said she'd met my sister.

I emailed her back and said, I wish she'd introduce me to because my daddy didn't tell me about her.

It ended up it was my sister-in-law. But we all had a good laugh.

Thanks so much for joining in on the fun.


CC

Keri Ford said...

Oh, wow. I write poetry and sceenplays.

No kidding. There's another Keri Ford writer out there. We're the same age.

Christie Craig said...

Keri,

Hmm...Does she have to some writing credits you could borrow? LOL!

Isn't it amazing to learn other Keri's exist?

Thanks so much for popping in.

CC

Anonymous said...

Oh, you're so funny, Christie. On Google, your life is an open book. lol There are a lot of people with my name out there. Years ago, there was someone out there who was exotic dancer with my name.

Here's something that happened through Google. When my blog was up and running, I used a quote from Hemingway in my post, and a professor at the University of Florida was writing a book on Hemingway, so he was googling to find anything on him. He emailed me saying he'd never seen that quote anywhere else, and he wanted to know where I found it. I gave him the title of the book, the author and the page number, so he could use it as a reference.

Sandy

Christie Craig said...

Sandy,

That's so cool. It's great that you got assist someone else on their research.

Google does keep our name out there. As well as the names of others who share our names.

Thanks so much for popping in.

CC