Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Proof That I Really Need To Get Out More - Or There's Something Wrong With My Tea...

Name - Roger “Race” Bannon
Age - 32
(in 1966 - the year I was born)
Born – Willamette, Illinois
Parents – John & Sarah Bannon
Occupation – Government Agent, Bodyguard for Jonny Quest
Right handed
(Not sure why this is important but what the hell?)

I've been doing nothing but writing for months. Mr. Assassin actually let me out of my cave for a little respite and here is the first thing that came to my Bombay-addled mind:

Is it wrong to be obsessed with a cartoon character? And when I say "obsessed" I must add that I've been this way since I was four years old (of course at that time he was 36 - but age is just a number).

Is that weird? How many of you are thinking of clicking away from this page now? Be honest.

I've been in love with Race Bannon since the first time I saw him fighting South American pygmies/lizardmen/Zulu warriors/Zin/invisible electricity monsters/poisonous snakes/a very slow-moving mummy/assorted indigenous folk who, no matter what language they speak, all yell "Aieeeeeeeee!," a giant pterydactyl and monsters who were really some guy in a costume. (I always wondered who made those. You never saw the bad guy with a sweatshop full of women making weird clothing. And I can't believe the evil minions had those skills - they could barely handle two-syllables at a time. I know this because they were always drawn with beer guts and broken noses.)

Oh yes! That prematurely snow white hair; tanned one-dimensional body; the red cossack shirt and gray slacks that didn't really match (real men don't care about fashion) and the ankle bootlets always tripped my trigger. Even when he was dyed purple by those berries he was hot. Oh, that wacky Benton Quest - not telling him the dye had to wear off! (I can see why they didn't give him a woman bodyguard - she'd stab him in the head, then back over him with the Land Rover twenty or thirty times. At least, that's what I would've done.)

Maybe it was his velvety, in-chargey voice. Or perhaps it was his way of saying, "I used to be pretty good with a bullwhip," or "Let's practice our judo!" I don't know. But whatever it was, he had me at "Johnny, Hadji, you two stay here!"

That man could do anything, from driving a hovercraft, to impersonating a river god, to snapping necks like twigs, to cuddling that adorable dog, Bandit. Sigh. Did I ever mention that I wanted to initially name my son (Jack) Race Bannon? Well, until I found out there is an S&M author with that name. I'm serious. Look it up. That was a shock when I was googling "Race Bannon."

I've always wanted to write a book on Race's early years in the service - before he was assigned by some mysterious government agency to watch over the Quests. That is my FanFic fantasy. Who knows? Maybe someday I'll actually do it. Do you think Hanna-Barbara would mind?

Well, back to work on I SHOT YOU, BABE (because no matter how hard I try, it won't write itself for some &%$#! reason). You know...Craig Daniels (the inspiration for Coney Island Bombay) looks a little bit like Race Bannon. I never noticed that before. Hmmmm...

The Assassin


Keri Ford said...

Hm. I never recall having a crush on a cartoon character, but I've always loved cartoons and have watched them since I was little. The hubby and I will watch bugs bunny over most of the stuff you find on tv now.

Scooby Doo has been favorite since forever. I still catch him on nearly everyday since the tv's on for my boy. I always wanted a great dan because of that dog. Actually, I always wanted THAT dog who could talk. Sort of talk.

Leslie Langtry said...

Same thing, right? Man...talking dog...same crush. ;) Right?

Terri Osburn said...

Okay, I give. Who's Craig Daniels?

I have to make a confession. I've never watched Jonny Quest and I have no idea who Race Bannon is. But I now believe he is totally hot if one dimensional and think this explains a lot about you.

I can't remember ever having a crush on a cartoon character, but I'm guessing lots of girls have fawned over Fred from Scooby Doo.

Oh wait, I do have a thing for Sinbad from the movie of the same name. Might help that he was voiced by Brad Pitt....

Keri Ford said...

Right, Leslie. Same thing. Only, you probably dreamed of going to second base with your man. Me? I just wanted to play catch and run from ghosts!

Gemma Halliday said...

Les, you were destined to marry a bodyguard from a young age. ;)

I'm such a girly girl, my first cartoon crush was Prince Philip from the Disney Sleeping Beauty. The way he battled that evil dragon... hot.


Anonymous said...

OMG!!! I LOVE Race Bannon!!! I also used to have quite the crush on Racer X from the old Speed Racer cartoon (not the new modern version or the recent movie).

A more recent animated crush was Roger Smith, the lead character in an anime cartoon called The Big O. Yum!

Estella said...

My kids used to watch Jonny Quest.

Christie Craig said...

I think Gemma is on to something. We now know why you married your hubby.


Leslie Langtry said...

OMG I mean Daniel Craig. I'm such a dork. And Gemma, I had a thing for Prince Phillip too. Of course, I also wanted to be Maleficent.

Anonymous said...

Leslie - Come on over to my house and you can watch Race all day instead of write. My kids have a season of Johnny Quest on DVD! They love it :)