Friday, October 17, 2008

The Perfect Man

As most of you know my New Year’s resolution this year was to find Mr. Right. Unlike my resolution to visit the gym daily (ish) or give up sugar (ha!), this one I’ve actually tried to follow through with. Come New Year’s Eve, I’ll take stock and let you know how successful it’s been. ;)

But, in the course of the dating, the dumping, and the disasters, my girlfriends and I have been refining exactly what it is that makes the perfect man. Mostly, we’ve found that the dating sites get it all wrong. Their profile surveys focus on things really don’t end up mattering at all. We could care less what color his eyes are or if he’s “slim” “average” or “athletically” built. What makes the perfect guy is much more than a laundry list of physical traits. So, with each fellow my girlfriends and I have weeded out, we’ve kept an ongoing list of what actually constitutes our perfect man. Here's what we've come up with so far:

The Perfect Man is…

Someone who will find my flaws endearing and my strengths inspiring.

Someone who can make me both laugh and cry… but more often laugh until I cry.

Someone who is smarter and stronger than I am, but is willing to let me pretend I am both.

Someone who trusts me with his secrets and will still love me after I confess mine.

Someone who will hold my hand at the movies and not hog all the popcorn.

Someone who will become more and more attractive to me with each passing day.

Someone who makes breath catch, my stomach clench, my heart beat too fast… and makes me love every uncomfortable minute of it.

Someone who changes diapers.

Someone who will dry my tears without questions and take care of me even when I swear I don’t need them.

Someone who will make my mother relieved, my grandmother proud, and my friends jealous.

Someone who will hug me as tightly for my successes as for my disappointments.

Someone who feels like home.

Someone who will look at me with the same adoration that Grandpa did Grandma, even after fifty years.

Someone who will sleep with his arms around me, even when I snore.

Someone who will wish me a Happy Valentine’s Day, despite fear that I might not return it.

Someone who makes me look forward to every day.

Someone who will let me make mistakes, let me apologize, and let me back in.

Someone who could have any girl, but wants me.

Someone who has never committed a felony – either on the high seas or dry land.

Someone who would put me on the lifeboat first.

Someone who will lean on me as often as I lean on them.

Someone who makes me believe in happy endings outside of a Disney movie.

Someone who is not afraid to fall in love with me. Deeply, madly, can’t-live-without-me, camping-outside-my-door, dedicating-sappy-songs-on-the-radio, burning-his-porn-stash, and forsaking-all-others in love.

Okay ladies, what are your must-haves? What makes your guy perfect? Add to the list!

~Trigger Happy Halliday


Lucy said...

You have a good list there. I'm not a fan of the "Someone who will sleep with his arms around me, even when I snore" just simply because I can't sleep with anyone touching me - I need my space. :)

I would add to it (and maybe it's somehow captured in there but I missed it) someone who loves me, even on my bad days; and someone who is comforting and brutally honest - and knows which one I need at a given time. Oh, and someone that I don't doubt where I stand with them so that I don't have to feel jealous of other relationships. And someone who won't lie to me.

Terri Osburn said...

Lucy got to the "won't lie" one before I did. So I'll second that one.

Someone who will buy his little girl a new pair of shoes (when she already has a closet full) because he agrees that they cute.

It's funny, I've been on the personals for a long time and when I finally found someone, it wasn't through the personals at all. Huh.

Gemma Halliday said...

someone who is comforting and brutally honest - and knows which one I need at a given time.

Good one! That totally needs to be on there!

And, yeah, I know what you mean about the sleeping thing. That one was added by a girlfriend of mine. Me, I'm kind of used to my sleeping space. Even the thought of sharing a bed with someone after having room to kick for long sounds hard. Lol!

Gemma Halliday said...

Someone who will buy his little girl a new pair of shoes (when she already has a closet full) because he agrees that they cute.

OMG - I love, love, LOVE this one! That might even have to go on the top of the list.

Christie Craig said...


If I was in the market, I'd be tatooing your points on my hand.

But the truth is, these are great story sparkers. So thanks! And when I see some of these same points in my hubby and my heroes, I feel pretty good.

I can't wait until New Years to hear the whole story.


Terri Osburn said...

Oh, I'm with Christie. Can't wait to hear the year in review come New Years. LOL!

Gemma Halliday said...

Lol! I'm thinking that will be a loooong post. :)

But, I will say things are going really great with Mr. Big. So, I'm hopeful I'll have a good report by Jan.

Anonymous said...

Gemma, this is an awesome list! I want to print it and tack it to my bulletin board - if nothing else to remind me how good I have it.

I really loved the "laugh until you cry part." When Hubby and I got married, the minister accidentally dropped a few lines out of the vows we had written. I was too overwhelmed with everything to pay too much attention. Only after the words came out of my mouth did I realize we'd promised to "laugh together in times of sorrow." It should have been "laugh together in times of joy, comfort each other in times of sorrow." But when we look back on it we really do find greater strength in the tough times when we can laugh together. So it all works out, after all!

Anonymous said...

That's a fabulous list, Gemma!

Keri Ford said...

Great list and love all the additions every one is making so far

I'll add one: Someone who will stand up for me, but also knows when to step aside and let me stand up for myself.

Gemma Halliday said...

Leah - Too funny about the minister! Sometimes the slip of the tongue is a good thing, huh? Wait... that came out sounding all wrong. Can you tell I've been critiquing an erotica ms all day? Lol!

Gemma Halliday said...

Keri - I love that one! Definitely important!

Anna (VampChix) said...

I love this list! If I wasn't married I would add: Somebody who will do laundry without being asked/told, someone who would go shopping with me and not make snarky comments about how much things cost, someone who would ask for directions when we are lost, and someone who would sleep with a fan even though he hates the breeze/noise.

My husband is that someone for me. We have been married for almost 10 years now (together for 15) and he has put up with my crap since high school. He actually asked my mom if he could marry me. Her response- you can never give her back!