Friday, October 03, 2008

From the Mouths of Babes

Inspired by Leslie’s Jack-isms this week, I thought I’d share one of my OMG moments with my little man.

Little Man was about six when this happened. I wasn’t dating a whole lot then, so this was kind of a new concept for him, seeing Mom dressed up and leaving the house without him. So, I was getting ready to go out – doing my hair, make-up, and all that good stuff – when Little Man came into the bathroom.

LM: So, where are you going tonight?

Me: A movie.

LM: (perking up) A cartoon movie?

Me: No.

LM: Oh. (undaunted) But, do you think he likes kids?

Me: I’m sure he does. But this is a grown up night, so you’re going to stay home with grandma.

LM: (pouting) Oh.

Me: I’ll be home by bedtime to tuck you in.

LM: K. So… what’s this guy’s name?

Me: Shane.

LM: That’s a good name. So… are you going to kiss him tonight?

Me: (freezing, mascara wand in hand) What? No! I mean… I don’t know…no!

LM: If you kiss him, are you going to use your tongue?

Me: (poking self in eye with mascara) What?!! Where did you hear about kissing with tongues?

LM: I dunno. TV maybe.

Me: No. I will not… be doing that. We’re just going to a movie, then I’m coming home. That’s all.

LM: Oh. Okay, then. But, Mom?

Me: (exasperated) What?

LM: Are you gonna let him touch your boobs?

Me: (dropping mascara on the floor, making huge black, goopy mess) That’s it. I’m disconnecting the cable.

~Trigger Happy Halliday


Suzan Harden said...

ROFLMAO But you saved a load of money without cable, right?

Terri Osburn said...

OMG! This is so funny! A couple weeks ago my daughter floored me when she asked if I'd "slept with" the guy I'm seeing. I took the easy route and explained he had not slept over. She let me know right then she was well aware no one was sleeping when they slept together. She's nine. I'm worried.

Gemma Halliday said...

Lol Terrio! They grow up WAY too fast, don't they?


Hellie Sinclair said...

*LOL* Terri is so BUSTED! *LOL*

And I'm still laughing at Gemma's story!

Beth said...

Don't you just love kids? The other day I had THE talk with my 11 yr old son. After my explanation he looked at me like I had lost my mind then ever the wise ass he asked me "So does dad put his rod in your cave?" We don't have cable but I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't leave my bodice rippers lying around any more.

catslady said...

OMG so young (and funny) but I can say I never got comments like that lol.

Christie Craig said...


Gemma, this is so typical. Kids know much more than we think they know.

I can see you losing your mascara.


Estella said...

Kids grow up way too fast now days.

Keri Ford said...

Geez, I think I need to program that privacy thing on the tv so my boy can only get the Disney channel! The things they can pick up!

Gemma Halliday said...

OMG, Beth!!! Too funny!
I so fear "The Talk". In fact, I fear that he already knows more than I do.

Gemma Halliday said...

I can see you losing your mascara.

You would not believe how flimsy those tubes are when they hit the bathroom tile form that hight. I had to go buy a new tube!

Enchanted by Books said...

OMG too funny!

Elisabeth Naughton said...

ROFL. If that's not hero material, I don't know what is.

Leslie...I love Jack's Pope dilemma. That is just too funny for words.

I'm inclined to think it's a boy thing. Though it's not limited to the 8-9 yr age bracket. Yesterday, while the three year old and I were singing along to some song on the radio that mentioned a pretty girl, I said to him, "Do you think Mommy's pretty?" And he replied, "Hmm. No. Mommy's not pretty. Not like a DOLL is pretty!"

Jenyfer Matthews said...

My daughter is the one who keeps hitting me with questions like this - usually when we're standing at the bus stop in the morning or when I have a mouth full of hot tea. When she was four she asked me *how* the baby got inside the mommy's belly, then at six she asked *how* the baby got out - did it come out of your butt? At 7 she announced she didn't want to have babies. I said that was fine, she didn't have to if she didn't want to. She immediately came back with "But how do you stop it? Do you just not have sex?" I replied "that's one way!" I was never happier to see her school bus coming. I wasn't prepared for The Talk and a discussion of contraception at age seven!!

PS - Keri, you'd be surprised at what they pick up on the Disney Channel!!!! Have you ever watched those tween shows or the filler music videos???