Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Gender Confusion and Other Things...

Sgt. Assassin Does Baghdad

Only 2.5 months until Tom comes home! I can't believe it's been a year already. How the hell did I survive? Here are a few thoughts about his impending return...

- I've become a dude. Some kind of mother/father amalgam weirdness. Need proof? Conor, Louis' older brother, told me the other day, "Leslie, you're more one of the guys than some of the guys in my class." I asked him if that was a compliment. He said, "Oh yeah!" Well, it's nice to know...I guess...

-I outweigh Sgt. Assassin. "Hey!" He tells me in an email, "I've lost like 40lbs and am comin home svelte and studly for you!" I tell him he can borrow my clothes, since I've gained 10-15lbs from stress eating while he's gone.

-My 11-yr. old daughter can make dinner! I came home to find she'd popped a frozen lasagna in the oven and it was almost done. "Look!" She said excitedly, "I even set the digital timer on the microwave!" She points to the countdown. "We have a timer on the microvave???" I ask in shock. She did a great job too. Well, except the lasagna was face down on a cookie sheet...but who's complaining?

-Bassett hounds do not consider the woman of the household to be a replacement for the alpha male. On the good side, this is the one reference to me being a woman in this whole blog. On the downside, I have 70lbs. of stupid dogmeat that won't listen to me and gets into the garbage, pantry and countersurfs on a daily basis.

All of this tells me one thing. I need a girly, spa, purse shopping spree when that man gets back. And he'd BETTER tell me I look thin!

The Assassin

5 comments:

TerriOsburn said...

I say we plan a girly, spa, purse shopping spree at Nationals. I bet we could do the whole thing without even leaving the hotel.

I can't believe it's been a year either. Wow, where did the time go? But YEAH FOR MR. ASSASSIN COMING HOME!

Your dog sounds like my cat, minus about 60lbs. I can't keep him out of the cupboards and he won't leave anything on a solid surface alone. Half the knick-knacks in my house are on the floor.

Leslie Langtry said...

My cat does that too. Put something shiny on a counter/table/surface and it's on the floor in minutes.

MsHellion said...

YEAH for Mr. Assassin coming back home!! And YEAH for girly spa days with lots of shopping and wine!!

I am alpha in my house, but this is because I live alone and have no pets.

Leslie Langtry said...

Sigh...I want to be an alpha in my own home. I don't even frighten the plants.

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