Tuesday, October 20, 2009

My Hubby Binged Me In My Office


My Hubby Binged Me In My Office



To anyone popping in because they thought this was an R rated blog, well you’re gonna be disappointed. Reread the title again. I didn’t say “banged me,” I said “binged.” Oh, I’m not blaming you for being confused. I had the same reaction when my hubby used it on me.

Not that this blog is about being banged or binged . . . well it is a bit about being binged. But mostly it’s about self-doubt, insecurities, and those heroes who prop us back up on the self-confident wagon when we fall off. For this particular fall, my prop-me-up-guy was my hubby.

Yeah, it surprised the heck out of me, too. It isn’t as if he’s not supportive. He’s a gem. But saying the right thing at the right time has never been his strong point. Let’s just say, he’s not the guy you go to ask if the jeans make your butt look big. Ahh, but this particular time, he came through.

It was a couple of weeks ago and I was having a bad hair, bloated-feelin’ all around crappy day. And yes, deep down the real problem was the brewing insecurity. You see, any day, I would be receiving reviews. My baby, my little darling, my book Divorced, Desperate and Deceived was making its way around the nation and about to be scrutinized by people who very well could call my baby ugly.

Yeah, I’ve heard we’re supposed to be above all that. We’re supposed to believe in ourselves. Kick self-doubt to the curb like it was a stray pine comb. And to that I say . . . are you freaking joking? Please! Don’t we all have our moments when we question our abilities and our worthiness? And it doesn’t mean we aren’t strong women, we just have a weak spot . . . or two . . . or three.

Some of us worry we’re not good enough moms. Some of think we don’t deserve to live if we outgrow our size five jeans. Some of us think if we don’t have a man attached to our arms we are worthless. Or maybe it’s our career that has us obsessing. Most writers worry that their next book won’t be as good as their last.

I think it’s only human to question ourselves, to doubt our own abilities every now and then. No, we can’t wallow in that place, or even allow these feelings from preventing us from continuing down life’s path. (I’d never write another book if I did.) Nevertheless, those moments are why it’s important to have those special people in our lives. Those people who set us straight, who helps us see that we aren’t as sucky as we believe we are in those low, hit-bottom moments.

And that’s what hubby did for me that day. He looked at me sitting at my desk with the appearance of a wilted flower on the way to the compost pile. “What’s wrong?”

I gazed up. “What if they don’t like Divorced, Desperate and Deceived?”

“They will,” he said. “People love your crap.” (Okay, he could have done a little better with that statement.)

“Is it crap?” I asked.

He looked at me in an odd kind of way. His crooked smile became suspicious. “I Binged you this morning,” he said.

Now, here’s the part where I was confused with the word, and I replied, “Did I not even wake up?”

He chuckled. “Here, let me Bing you now and show you.”

I started working on getting in the mood, but it turned out, Bing is another search engine like Google. Who knew? I sure as heck didn’t. Anyway, he Binged Christie Craig and searched for images right there in my office. And on the screen popped up numerous pictures of . . . Christie Craig. In some of them, I really looked hot. Yeah, I sometimes sweat giving workshops. Some of them I looked hot as “wow, look at me there.” Of course, it was another Christie Craig, but it was cool to think some people might think it was me. A few of them gave the viewers insight to the real Christie Craig—a Weight Watcher’s returnee, and someone who’s passionate about writing. There were several pictures I’ve never seen, pictures of me standing beside a fan, or me giving a workshop, or me signing my books.

“See,” hubby said. “You’re Christie Craig and they love your crap.”

I laughed and most of the insecurities crumbled. Not just because of the pictures. Sure, I’ll admit it felt good knowing my fans liked me enough to post pictures, but mostly what felt good was seeing my hubby’s belief in me. Sometimes all we need to know is that someone else believes in us, and that alone chases away that moment of self-doubt and insecurities.

I consider myself very fortunate to have so many of these people in my life. So today, I hope you’ll find those heroes who believe in you, the people who prop you back up on the self-confidence wagon during your self-doubt, and when you find them, tell them thank you. Then I hope you’ll always be ready to prop someone else up who you believe in.

And I want to say thank you to all you guys who read my blogs, buy my books, and to all of you who as my hubby says, “loves my crap” because you too are on my list of heroes.

41 comments:

Emmanuelle said...

Christie, what a lovely blog !! And I LOVE YOUR CRAP too !! Nice T-shirt idea btw. If you ever have an organized fanclub (or maybe you already do, don't know) you could have tees printed with a "because we love her crap" slogan (all rights reserved to your DH of course), lol !
More seriously, I try to imagine what it must be like to go through the promotion of a new book. You really put yourself on the line. You give the best you have and get criticized or praised for it, grrrr that must be stressful.
Count me among your fervent supporters ;-)
xoxo

Elle J Rossi said...

CC,

What a fantastic story. Your husband is stinkin' hilarious.

I thought about binging myself, but I'd hate to do it alone so I'll wait until one of my prop-me-ups gets here.

Although I'm not published and matter of fact, I haven't finished my WIP, I'm sure people already love me, right?

Have a great one,
Elle

Ann Lethbridge said...

Sweeet. The fact that he knew how to bing, is great, that he binged you makes him a keeper!

You are dead right about those niggling fears. Totally scary.
But if you care enough to be scared, then the book can only be better, right?
Looking forward to reading it.

Robin said...

Just love your guy. And your crap.

Christie Craig said...

Emmanuelle,

LOL. I think I like that idea!!! I always compare sending my books out into the world to standing naked in the mall.

But the emails from readers makes all that fear go away. I love my job and consider myself very, very lucky to do what I do.

Thanks for stopping in. P.S. Have you gotten your book yet?

Christie Craig said...

Elle,

It's always good to have someone around when you get binged. LOL.

And yes girl, people already love ya. Hold you head up high and finish those books.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Ann,

We think alike. A little doubt keeps us on our toes and working hard.

Thanks so much for popping in.

CC

P.S. Love your cover!

Christie Craig said...

Robin,

Thanks!! I do love him.

Thanks so much for stopping in.

CC

Emmanuelle said...

No book yet, Chrsitie (hey, that's a long way !!).
I'll let you know as soon as I receive it !!! Thx again ;-)

Edie Ramer said...

What a sweet husband. I love your crap, too. LOL

I'm on Google Alerts, but usually the only mention are my own blogs. No one else has my name, that I know of. If there were someone else, I might not do it.

Christie Craig said...

Emmanuelle,

I wish I could have climbed into the box with the book and spent some time in France!

Thanks,

CC

Christie Craig said...

Hi Edie,

Hubby is a keeper. And googled yourself can be funny. I must have one of those names because all sorts of stuff pops up.

Thanks for stopping in.

CC

Kate Douglas said...

I love this, and it really hit close to home. I just finished writing the second book in a new series and that means I'm into the "postpartum depression" that always hits when I send a new story off to my beta readers to rip apart, and my spouse cheerfully announced he'd googled me and I finally came up more than Kate Douglas Wiggins (Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm author) He was so tickled with that fact that he made me feel better, too. So guess I'll have to send him to bing, because Lord knows, I need the propping up as much as any other needy, neurotic author! Thanks, Christie!

Christie Craig said...

Hi Kate!!

We need to start the neurotic writer's club. Thanks so much stopping in.

CC

TerriOsburn said...

Add me to those who love your crap AND to that neurotic writers club. I haven't even finished my first WIP and thinking about getting pubbed and delivering more books makes me a bit dizzy. Don't even get me started on the deadline thing. LOL!

I still say we should clone your hubby.

And thanks for all you do for us working to be pubbed writers!

Suzan Harden said...

Girl, if anyone gives you crap about DDD3, well, screw 'em! They don't count.

It was a great book when I read the rough draft, so I know it's a terrific book now.

Christie Craig said...

Terri,

Lov ya girl!!! You are so welcomed into the neurotic club. Writing can make you dizzy and deadlines are mind boggling. Ahh, but there is nothing like finishing that book. I highly recommend you get that WIP whipped out and finished.

Thanks so much for visiting.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Suzan,

Ya' do my heart good!!!

Thanks so much girl. You always come through and you make a mean alfredo lasagna and apple pie.

Tori Lennox said...

Well, of course we love your crap! Silly woman. *g*

Christie Craig said...

Tori,

Ahh, thank you girl.

It's so good to see you here.

CC

Emmanuelle said...

Christie, mi casa es su casa !!
I, on the other hand, would love to be in the US... it's actualy part of the reason why I read so much, so I can feel like I'm in the US too ;-)

Brandy said...

Your husband is fabulous. Men aren't always good with words, but he knew exactly what you needed. I, for one (HA! Who am I kidding? I am one of many!) who love your books. Each one sits on my keeper shelf waiting for me to reread when I need a laugh and a good story!

Marie-Nicole Ryan said...

Sweet and touching story. Your guy's a keeper. We all suffer the same doubt, and luckily we keep it at bay long enough to start and finish another book.

Christie Craig said...

Emmanuelle,

I spent ten days in France, mostly Paris, but I loved it. By the way, I suck at French, but I can do Spanish.

CC

Christie Craig said...

Brnady,

Ahh, nothing is like being on the keeper shelf.

Thank you!!!!!!

CC

Christie Craig said...

Marie-Nicole,

So true girl. It's the getting past it that's important and we have to do it to keep climbing that ladder.

Thanks for stopping in.

CC

Sandy said...

How did I miss this particular blog? What a great husband to bing you. Smile.

EmilyBryan said...

Your DH could have done worse. How long did it take you to train him to say "crap" instead of . . . ?

Gillian Layne said...

I'm two days late here, but hey! I love your "crap", too--your stories make me smile, and laugh, and that's worth a million dollars!

As Emmanuelle said, count me among your fervent supporters, too. :)

Donna Marie Rogers said...

Christie, your husband sounds like a wonderful guy! And you know how much I love your 'crap'. LOL It's some of the best crap I've ever read. :-)

I think I'm going to have to Bing myself later. Or maybe I'll have the hubby do it since it is our anniversary. *grin*

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