My Hubby Binged Me In My Office

My Hubby Binged Me In My Office



To anyone popping in because they thought this was an R rated blog, well you’re gonna be disappointed. Reread the title again. I didn’t say “banged me,” I said “binged.” Oh, I’m not blaming you for being confused. I had the same reaction when my hubby used it on me.

Not that this blog is about being banged or binged . . . well it is a bit about being binged. But mostly it’s about self-doubt, insecurities, and those heroes who prop us back up on the self-confident wagon when we fall off. For this particular fall, my prop-me-up-guy was my hubby.

Yeah, it surprised the heck out of me, too. It isn’t as if he’s not supportive. He’s a gem. But saying the right thing at the right time has never been his strong point. Let’s just say, he’s not the guy you go to ask if the jeans make your butt look big. Ahh, but this particular time, he came through.

It was a couple of weeks ago and I was having a bad hair, bloated-feelin’ all around crappy day. And yes, deep down the real problem was the brewing insecurity. You see, any day, I would be receiving reviews. My baby, my little darling, my book Divorced, Desperate and Deceived was making its way around the nation and about to be scrutinized by people who very well could call my baby ugly.

Yeah, I’ve heard we’re supposed to be above all that. We’re supposed to believe in ourselves. Kick self-doubt to the curb like it was a stray pine comb. And to that I say . . . are you freaking joking? Please! Don’t we all have our moments when we question our abilities and our worthiness? And it doesn’t mean we aren’t strong women, we just have a weak spot . . . or two . . . or three.

Some of us worry we’re not good enough moms. Some of think we don’t deserve to live if we outgrow our size five jeans. Some of us think if we don’t have a man attached to our arms we are worthless. Or maybe it’s our career that has us obsessing. Most writers worry that their next book won’t be as good as their last.

I think it’s only human to question ourselves, to doubt our own abilities every now and then. No, we can’t wallow in that place, or even allow these feelings from preventing us from continuing down life’s path. (I’d never write another book if I did.) Nevertheless, those moments are why it’s important to have those special people in our lives. Those people who set us straight, who helps us see that we aren’t as sucky as we believe we are in those low, hit-bottom moments.

And that’s what hubby did for me that day. He looked at me sitting at my desk with the appearance of a wilted flower on the way to the compost pile. “What’s wrong?”

I gazed up. “What if they don’t like Divorced, Desperate and Deceived?”

“They will,” he said. “People love your crap.” (Okay, he could have done a little better with that statement.)

“Is it crap?” I asked.

He looked at me in an odd kind of way. His crooked smile became suspicious. “I Binged you this morning,” he said.

Now, here’s the part where I was confused with the word, and I replied, “Did I not even wake up?”

He chuckled. “Here, let me Bing you now and show you.”

I started working on getting in the mood, but it turned out, Bing is another search engine like Google. Who knew? I sure as heck didn’t. Anyway, he Binged Christie Craig and searched for images right there in my office. And on the screen popped up numerous pictures of . . . Christie Craig. In some of them, I really looked hot. Yeah, I sometimes sweat giving workshops. Some of them I looked hot as “wow, look at me there.” Of course, it was another Christie Craig, but it was cool to think some people might think it was me. A few of them gave the viewers insight to the real Christie Craig—a Weight Watcher’s returnee, and someone who’s passionate about writing. There were several pictures I’ve never seen, pictures of me standing beside a fan, or me giving a workshop, or me signing my books.

“See,” hubby said. “You’re Christie Craig and they love your crap.”

I laughed and most of the insecurities crumbled. Not just because of the pictures. Sure, I’ll admit it felt good knowing my fans liked me enough to post pictures, but mostly what felt good was seeing my hubby’s belief in me. Sometimes all we need to know is that someone else believes in us, and that alone chases away that moment of self-doubt and insecurities.

I consider myself very fortunate to have so many of these people in my life. So today, I hope you’ll find those heroes who believe in you, the people who prop you back up on the self-confidence wagon during your self-doubt, and when you find them, tell them thank you. Then I hope you’ll always be ready to prop someone else up who you believe in.

And I want to say thank you to all you guys who read my blogs, buy my books, and to all of you who as my hubby says, “loves my crap” because you too are on my list of heroes.