Not Your Basic Girl

I'm definitely not your basic girl. Sure, I have three stage foiled hair and acrylic nails (currently painted bright glittery pink), and I just bought a new pink phone and I definitely have more shoes than I probably need (not that shoes should EVER have anything to do with need), but when it comes right down to it, I'm just not your basic girl. Why, you ask? Well, we could start with I'm an incurable tomboy. I was (and still am) a tough girl. As a kid, I played with boys on their level (and scared a lot of them). I was never interested in cooking or cleaning or sewing, and Lord knows that hasn't changed.

So this week and next, I thought I'd share with you some snippets of non-basic girl behavoir that you might find amusing. The first involves cooking.

I was a teenage (maybe 16 or 17) when I came into the house one night and found my parents having a "discussion." Apparently the crux of the discussion is that my dad felt my mom should teach me how to cook. My mom was of the opinion that if I wanted to learn, I'd ask. My dad felt I needed to know whether I wanted to or not, so my mom asked if the same rules applied to my younger brother when he was my age.

I figured I'd fix the situation by voicing my opinion, so the ensuing conversation went something like this:

Me: I don't want to learn how to cook.

Dad: Don't you think you're going to want to eat after you leave home?

Me (slightly confused): Yeah, but I thought that's why I was going to college - so I could eat out.

At that point, Dad gave up. And I want everyone to know that I am 40 years old and still don't cook. I have lived up to my words. I CAN cook, if I have a recipe and the desire. In fact, I'm not a bad cook at all so I guess all those years of living with or around great cooks let something seep in. But it's still not something I enjoy or something I have any desire to spend a lot of time at on even a semi-regular basis.

As for the other domestic chores, well, we pay someone to clean our house and don't feel guilty about it at all. C'mon, I DO have two full-time jobs. Do you think readers want me to personally scrub my toilet or to write another book? And I definitely don't sew. I recently bought one of those cool television special thingies that put buttons back on with these plastic hooks. It works fabulously! The weird thing is, I took up cross-stitching for a while (back when I had time) and actually enjoyed and was fairly good at it. But don't think that translates to regular sewing. If you show up at my cubicle with a hem unraveled on your skirt, I will most likely grab a stapler or duct tape to take care of the problem.

Next week, I'll talk about why I'm a great person to have around if you need someone to work on an engine or build a deck.

- Deadly (unDomestic) DeLeon