Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto

One thing about kids no one told me – they can really make you feel old. Our Girl Scout troop participated in the Halloween Parade Sunday. The theme was 50th Anniversary – a very sad and pathetic theme by the way. So, we did a float featuring uniforms from the last fifty years of Scouting. The girls decided they would dress from the different decades – the 1950’s to the present.

My own daughter also dressed as a hippie (representing the 1% of the population in the ‘60s who actually were hippies). Anyway, we stopped at McDonald’s on the way to the parade to get something to eat. In the bathroom, my nine-year old daughter decided to be authentic and act like she was from the 1960’s. In an exaggerated and dramatic way, she asked, “What does this magical invention do?”

Me: “It’s a sink.”

Drama Queen Daughter: “A sink? Amazing! And you get water just from turning those things?

Me: “We had sinks in the 1960’s.”

DQD: “You did? Seriously?”

Me: “Yes. We also had tv, electricity, toasters and flush toilets.”

DQD feigning shock: “No way! Totally Groovy Dude.”

Me: “You’re mixing your slang. Totally is from the ‘80s. Dude is from the 90’s.”

DQD exuberantly: “That rocks!”

Me: “Stop doing that. You’re embarrassing yourself.”

DQD (valley-girl style): “Whatever, Superfreak.”

We met the rest of the girls at the parking lot. I was dressed from the ‘80s, as were three other girls in my troop.

Them: “Why aren’t you wearing a costume?”

Me: “I am. My IZOD polo collar is standing up, the jean jacket is my husband’s from 1983. I have tons of little pins from the ‘80s and I have huge, enormous hair. I’m even wearing my class ring from 1984.”

Them: “No. We’re dressed from the ‘80s. You just look normal.”

Me: “I’m actually wearing clothes and hair from the ‘80s. You’re just dressed like caricatures.”

Them: (All dressed in loud, bright colors and oversized t-shirts, all with leg-warmers and one side ponytail): “No, we’re dressed exactly like you did then.”

Me: “Actually, I dressed just like this back then. And no one dressed like you unless they were in a WHAM video.”

Them (rolling their robin-egg blue eyeshadowed lids as they walked away): “How can someone who lived in the ‘80’s NOT know how they dressed back then?”

“I know! She looks just like she did at our last meeting.”

“Who’s Wham?”

Okay, so maybe the clothes I wore then are similar to what I wear now. I’m not giving up hope that someone saw me and thought I was a walking advertisement for the Preppy Handbook.

Gag me with a spoon,
The Assassin