Friday, October 05, 2007

Getting. Older. Sucks.


The date that I was freaking over last week – it never happened. Which, considering the state of my hair, might not be a terrible thing. Though, it is getting better thanks to all your wonderful suggestions. Thank God! But I digress… Okay, so the non-date. Well, in addition to owning a nightclub Mr. Hot Stuff also owns customs cars that tour in car shows. They’re currently in Florida somewhere, and apparently last weekend someone set fire to them. Huge damages and, even worse, one of his crew was badly injured in the explosions. Not good. Obviously, Hot Stuff had to fly right out, but he did cancel our date with a promise of dinner and a movie when he gets back.

So, instead of holding hands in a dark theater with Mr. Hot Stuff I decided if I couldn’t have a romance of my that weekend, I’d do the next best thing and read about one. I booted up an ebook from one of my good friends, Babe King. (Between the Gutter and the Sky – a great story, you should totally check it out! It’s out Oct. 7th from FreyasBower.com) I was loving it, getting into the characters, the juicy sexual tension… when I noticed something. I was squinting at the screen. I’d never noticed myself doing that before. And, I realized, during the course of the book I had scooched my chair back about a foot from my computer in order to read the print. How had it suddenly become so small and fuzzy? I checked my settings. Nope, same font I always used, same size text. So what was wrong with me?

I shrugged it off. Maybe I was just tired.

Well, the next day, I continued to read. And squint. Until I found myself with a twitch in my right eye and a headache from Hades. After messing with my monitor settings for a good half hour, I consulted my friend Suze. She suggested that maybe I needed (gasp, horrors!) reading glasses.

Um, no. Old people need glasses. I am not old. Ergo, no glasses for me. I am totally fine. My eyes are great.

Though, as soon as Suze said ‘reading glasses’, in the back of my mind, I heard the voice of my college human development teacher. I remembered her saying that up until the age of 30, the human body is a constant state of growth and regeneration. After 30, this stops. At age 30 the human body actually starts decomposing. Now, to my college self 30 seemed a long ways off, but, I’ll admit, on my birthday last year instead of a card with a cake and candles, my sister sent me a sympathy card offering her condolences on the loss of my twenties.

So, just in case (though, I was sure I didn’t need them) I made an appointment with an eye doctor. Who handed down the verdict that years of reading Nancy Drew in the dark until all hours with a dim little flashlight under my covers had finally caught up to me. Yup, you need reading glasses, chickie. (I hate it when Suze is right.)

So, the weekend that I had planned to include hand-holding, dark move theaters, and Mr. Hot Stuff ended up with me in an optician’s office having my pupils dilated and being told that glasses are a fact of “getting older” by the twenty-one year old college kid with piercing in her upper lip holding the eye chart.

But, in a show of defiance, I picked out a pair of hip designer frames in screaming hot pink. Hey, if I’m going to decompose, you'd better believe I’m going to look good doing it.



~Gemma 'Trigger Happy' Halliday


P.S. I’m still waiting for catslady to contact me as the winner of Wendy Nelson Tokunaga’s new book MIDORI BY MOONLIGHT. If you’re out there, catslady, email me!

25 comments:

Christie Craig said...

LOL Gemma. Now...I've heard getting old called some unflattering things...but decomposing? That is scary.

oh...I'll just bet you look totally chic in those new pink frames.

Crime Scene Christie

Tori Lennox said...

Oooh, I want hot pink frames!!! Next time I go to the eye doc I'm going to have demand some.

And I know how you feel. I nearly had a breakdown when I had to get *gasp* bifocals (which I hate with a passion).

Jenyfer Matthews said...

Gemma - I so totally sympathize with you, having gotten my first pair of reading glasses in May. It totally sucks. I don't need them to read anywhere but the computer but still... Not sure it helped when a friend told me that I looked "smarter" with them on. I'm blonde, but what did I look like before??? (don't answer that!)

It does help not having headache or eyestrain after a day of writing though...

Anonymous said...

Sorry about the nondate. But I can't wait to see the sweet specs. Meantime, I'm having some carrot soup. If my eyes get any worse, I'd be blind.

~Leah

Gemma Halliday said...

Tori - They are so cute, you should totally check them out next time. DNKY seemed to have the best array of fun colors.

~Gemma

Gemma Halliday said...

Jenyfer - As a fellow blonde, I'm hoping the glasses make me look smarter (not older!), too. But, yeah, I can tell they're helping with the computer headaches already.

~Gemma

Gemma Halliday said...

Lol, Leah. But you look so cute in your glasses! Plus, you can do the contacts thing and no one needs to know. ;)

~Gemma

Anonymous said...

Aaack, Gemma! I remember when the big screen TV didn't look so big anymore and I started squinting trying to read the tiny credits. Oh, and then there is the fact that I now need a night light so I can find the bathroom in the middle of the night.

*gives Christie a dirty look*

I had an unfortunate experience in NYC a few months ago when I was at the PASIC conference. My evil roommate turned off the light and I sort of walked into a wall trying to find the bathroom.

Arrrgh.

But now for something really important...how does your hair look? Is it better?

Faye

Gemma Halliday said...

Yes! The hair is healing. Slowly. It's still a little...uh, fried. But getting better. I have hope. :)

~Gemma

Estella said...

Bifocals at age 40 was a slap in the face for me. Too much reading, sewing and cross stitch.

RachaelfromNJ said...

Ok this might be totally psychological but while reading your post about the screen being blurry, it started to get blurry for me! SO I made the font bigger. Get glasses? HA! Why do that when I can roll my mouse to make the font bigger! :)

I love the idea of pink frames. Very trendy. Unfortunately for some reason the first person I thought of when you said pink frames is a comedian that was on Celebrity Fit Club. Here's a pic for the whole visual. He's a sweet guy so I'm not cracking on him or his weight at all, I just am showing you who I thought of when you said pink frames. He was so funny on Celebrity Fit Club.

http://www.starpulse.com/Actors/Vilanch,_Bruce/gallery/SGG-028729/

RachaelfromNJ said...

That link didnt work right, try this one.

http://www.starpulse.com/Actors/Vilanch,_Bruce/gallery/SGG-028729/

RachaelfromNJ said...

Damn not working. :( His name is Bruce Vilanch if you wanna google him. I don't know why the link isn't working.

Gemma Halliday said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gemma Halliday said...

Oh, I know exactly who you're talking about, Rachel! Lol! No, my frames look nothing like his. Much cooler. :)

~Gemma

Dru said...

LOL..love the idea of pink frames. Yes, I've been down that road and so far have avoided having to get bifocals. I just know when I see the eye doctor next year, I'm going to have to get them.

Sorry about your non-date. I hope you don't have to wait long for him to get back.

Have a good weekend.

Lily said...

I wear glasses and I am not that old... a mere 21!! Even if sometimes I really feel wise :)

Stacy S said...

I've had glasses off & on since I was about 9. I've just got contacts, those take a little getting used to. Never seen any hot pink glasses though.

catslady said...

Oh I'm here, I'm here. I'm sorry, I don't know how I missed it. I'll email you and thanks so much. I really wanted to read that book because I've heard about it from different places.

Sorry your date didn't work out but maybe you'll feel better about your hair now lol.

Nathalie said...

Gemma your hair is healing but is still fried... maybe next time you will stick with your own colour :)

Gemma Halliday said...

Okay, I feel better that last night I found out that my 20 year old cousin had to get reading glasses, too. Genetically weak eyes?
(Yeah, I'm really good at denial...)

Nathalie - Yes, totally! That’s what I was trying to do, get it back to my natural color. Anyone have tips for doing that other than having multi-colored hair for months while it grows out? :/

~Gemma

Nathalie said...

I have no clue... never tried haircolouring but after your misadventure... I will not do it myself!!

A friend once had the same nightmare, her hair turned orange after going to the hair-salon... good for Halloween!

Bethany said...

Gemma, Gemma!

We must be syncing up or something. Maturing/decomposing. Same difference.

ChristyJan said...

I'm right there with you...I have a pair of reading glasses in almost every room of the house and both mine and hubby's vehicles. And...my glasses are pink too! My fav color.

ruth said...

Pink frames are adorable. I wear reading glasses and they are a bore but necessary.