Did you ever "Nyquil-goggle" and think that Sudafed on the counter is looking pretty good? Did you ever think, "Hell, what harm can come from taking those together?" Did you ever follow that sentiment with a Tylenol Nighttime Cold Chaser?
A few observations during the last two days of severe head cold-induced hallucinations:
Have you read this yet? Here's the opening line,
Seriously, why didn't I think of that?
1) Kids don't differentiate between, "What part of 'Mommy is dying' do you not understand?" and "Brush your teeth." In their minds, there is no difference (or importance) between the two.
2) I want to see the baby who could fit his head into this bag and suffocate. I could make some money with that baby.
3) They say that the way your lipstick wears and the shape that results says a lot about you. I wonder if it applies to other makeup? This is what my Brow-Zing by Benefit has worn down to. I see ovaries and a uterus. What does that mean?
4) In the "Why didn't I think of this?" files, why didn't I think of this?
Have you read this yet? Here's the opening line,
"It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains."
Seriously, why didn't I think of that?
How is your week going?
The Assassin
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7 comments:
I so want to read P&P&Z, but the local bookstores are sold out! And Houston is the fourth largest city in the U.S.! Must wait until pay day to order it online.
Too bad none of your hallucinations involved Hugh Jackman naked.
That little teeny bag had me laughing out loud. God bless Nyquil.
~Gemma
Thanks for the morning laugh! Seriously, why didn't I think of P&P&Z???!
I have this urge to add zombies or some other paranormal element to another public domain classic....
And that tiny plastic bag is a hoot!
Leslie, I didn't even have to look at the tag line to know this was you. You crack me up - even though I'm hopped up on both Zyrtec *and* Sudafed. Damn allergies. I started reading P&P&Z. It's illustrated, too! But not *quite* as hilarious as I thought it'd be.
You are right, it's not "laugh out loud" funny but cerebral funny in the fact you'd love to see Jane Austen's face if she were to read it.
Hugh Jackman naked? Why didn't I think of that?
I'm with you on the multi meds at once. This sinus infection from hell just wont go away. Hope you feel better soon.
It's been a crappy week or so here. I've been sicker than a dog, unable to sleep due to one of the meds and exhuasted due to the other. (Lethal combination!)
Then we had to admit my grandma (with dementia) into a nursing home. And to make that all the more fun, she decided to "Go home" and walked out of the nursing home in the middle of the night. Thank God a neighbor found her and brought her back.
It hasn't all been bad, I was able to read about 6 books while awake with the antihistimine induced insomnia. So now I'm ready for all the new releases that are coming out.
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