Where Are You From?

Winners, Winners, Winners,

First, I want to say thank you so much to everyone for playing and posting. Because I had so many posts, I decided to give away two prizes for the humorous sayings. And two for just commenting.

MSHELLION,VIRGINIA, REFHATER, and JOYE please contact me, via my website address at christie @ christie- craig. com (no spaces)

You guys have won, a book, either Divorced, Desperate and Delicious or Weddings Can Be Murder. (If you have both of those, I'm giving away one of my friends/writing buddies books, either Real Vampires Live Large by Gerry Bartlett, or Like a Charm by Candace Havens. From come, first serve on those two books.) A pack of my very own "pet" note cards and "silly" pen to help remind you the importance of smiling. So contact me and give me your snail mail address and selection.

Thanks again everyone. You guys made my day.

CC

Okay…this ain’t no secret. Most of you have probably figured it out by reading my posts, or better yet, by reading my books. In two weeks from today, Divorced, Desperate and Dating hits the stands, and you can bet your boots, that you’d be able to figure it out by reading that tall tale.

For those of you who have met me personally, you didn’t have to read squat. You pretty much figured it out when I opened my mouth. And since I seldom keep the trap closed, it’s a no-brainer conclusion to make.

What am I’m talking about? Hold your horses, I’m fixin’ to tell ya’.

I’m talking about talk, southern talk. I’m talking about being southern. The language of the south, the twangs, the drawls, the word choices, clichés, and . . . the mannerisms. And then there’s the manners. Honey, in these here stomping grounds we were raised to mind our manners. I mean, even if we’re telling people how the cow ate the cabbage, we do it in such slow, soft-spoken words, that it’s sweater than a glass of Aunt Bertha’s tea. Southerners are known to be polite and friendly. Why, here in Texas we have road signs that say, “Drive friendly.” My Californian step-dad asked me if that meant he had to wave at everyone as he drove past.

If a southerner says something that’s less than kind, we back it up with those famous words, “Bless his/her heart.” For example, “He couldn’t pour spit out of a boot if the instructions were written on his heel. Bless his heart.” Now we just called some poor fella dumber than dirt, but the blessing more than makes up it.

I remember moving to Los Angeles back in the early eighties. I’d no more open my mouth when I’d get the question: “Where are you from?” Now, I’ll have to confess, it annoyed the crappers out of me. I simply didn’t cotton to the fact that everyone knew right off the bat that I wasn’t from hereabouts. What I had to say wasn’t important, those folks just wanted to listen to me yarn some words together. Not that I didn’t like to talk, mind you, but this southern gal talked to be heard not to entertain.

Sometimes people didn’t even understand what I was saying. Once having a conversation with a neighbor, she told me her husband had said she needed to get breast implants.

I quickly told her that her husband obviously didn’t know diddley. Her response was, “Neither do I. What’s Diddley’s last name?”

I’ll admit, I even tried to learn to talk like the women on the six o’clock news. In case you’re wondering, it didn’t work out too well. The ya’lls, ain’ts, and pretty pleases, just kept slipping out. As a matter of fact, one of my best jobs in the big city was granted to me because of my southern drawl. I got paid a purty penny to get the big wigs of companies on the phone to answer a few market research questions. Oh, they liked hearing me talk.

Yup, I’ve learned to embrace my southerness both in my spoken words and in my written tales. You might be surprised at how many people have defined my writing voice as: southern sass and southern humor. And I guess, when I think about it, it’s true. My characters are mostly southern, they talk southern, and so far all my stories have taken place in the south. And I guess you could call my heroines a bit sassy since they have a special way of dealing with men who chap their hides or people who set out to put a burr under their saddles. As for the humor, well, we do like to laugh in the south.

Yup, I have a hankering for good southern phrases. Most of them I get from just listening to people around me.

My dad, an Alabamian as the day is long, is always giving me great verbal jewels for my books. One that my heroine Sue uses in the book, Divorced, Desperate and Dating is, “Fine as frog’s hair.” Now, I’ll be honest with you. I’m not all together certain that frogs have hair. Or if it’s fine or coarse. But in the south, we never let logic get in the way of a good saying. For example, take the words I heard my mama use all her life. “If you don’t behave, I’m gonna pinch cha’ head off.”

Now, while that creates a rather disturbing visual, let me tell you, that she also used those same words in a positive affirmation, too. “I love you so much that I could pinch cha’ head off.”

So you see, pinching your head off could be a good or a bad thing. Who knew?

Another one I’ve heard, “You’re so sweet, I could serve you up with biscuits and peach preserves.” Not sure I ever wanted to be served up for breakfast, but it was a good thing.

So, here’s what I want from you today. Give some verbal jewels. I don’t even care if they’re southern. I want some quirky or unique phrases. Think back on what your grandparents used to say. I’m gonna be giving away two prizes today. One for the best saying, and one of just a random drawing from a poster from today’s posts and last Saturday and Sundays. So post away and win some free loot.

Crime Scene Christie