Repeat After Me! I Promise To Be Different! I Promise To Be Unique! I Promise Not to Repeat Things Other People Say!

(Photo of Santa as the Spartan king Leonidas for those of you who remember the 300 Spartan potato blog.)

Okay, so I plagerized Steve Martin on that one. Remember that album from the '70's? I must have played it one million times. Isn't it so cool that a guy in a white suit with an arrow through his head - whose tagline was "Well excuuuuuuuuuse meeeeeeee!" was just honored by the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts? Classic.

SO! It's that time to make resolutions. Usually, I hide the list so if no one else finds it (which also means that I never find it) - it never existed. Right? But this year I'm gonna try something different.

Prepare for...The ANTIRESOLUTIONS! Dun dun dun!

1) I resolve to not hurt my pets or children. (Kind of a no-brainer there - and easily achievable. I can probably check this one off right now! Woo hoo!)

2) I resolve to have a messy house. (My favorite one.)

3) I resolve to not to kill my husband in his sleep - even if he deserves it. (This one might be a little harder - but notice I didn't say I wouldn't fantasize about killing him - so there's a sort of loophole there.)

4) I resolve not to limit my diet in any way. (Actually - this may be my favorite.)

5) I resolve that excercise is considered cruel and unusual punishment according to the articles of the Geneva Convention - so I won't succumb. (Alright - I'm not sure this is really part of the Geneva Convention - but don't you think it should be???)

6) I resolve not to live up to any unrealistic expectations I might have for myself. (See how I did that? Nice, huh?)

Feel free to plagerize the list. I plan to lose it as soon as possible.

Happy New Year!

The Assassin