Thursday, January 31, 2008

Looking for Mr. Goodwrench

Unlike Trigger Happy Halliday, I'm not actively looking for Mr. Right. Between kids, school, writing--and life in general--I don't know where I'd squeeze Mr. Right in if I did happen to find him. However, there are times when the idea of having a man around the house is mighty tempting and I find that those times are somewhat dependent on what's occurring in my hectic life at the moment.

For example, during the ice storm several months back when I had tree limbs breaking off and hurling down onto my house, yard, and electrical wires, I had a hankering for a fellow who knew how to handle a chain saw and had access to a wood chipper. Quite the romantic here, huh?
Then, a couple weeks later when my bathroom plumbing was being ornery, the idea of a mate who drove one of those big white vans with slogans on the side like, 'We Come So You Can Go' or 'Be There in a Flush' was majorly appealing.

A few days ago I wished for an in-residence computer whisperer to troubleshoot my wireless. (I'm such a sweet talker. ) I frequently pine for a fellow who is at home in the kitchen--and that includes cooking AND clean up, by the way. And when a fuse blew last week, I was ready for a nice, single electrician to come and check out my wiring.

This week, I'm looking for Mr. Goodwrench. You see, we're a four car family--but this week? We were down to one running vehicle. Here's the deal. When you have new drivers, you tend not to invest in pricey automobiles so that leaves you with 'reliable' used cars that won't cause you to rip your clothing or pull your hair out when 'someone' dings one of the cars. The first car I added to the triplet fleet was a 1984 Mercury Grand Marquis better known as The Blockbuster. With only 53,000 miles--it was supposedly your quintessential 'old lady only drove it to church' bona fide vehicle. It's nickled and dimed me to death. It also sucks to drive on icy roads and gets about eight feet to the gallon so I thought I'd be clever and suspend the insurance until spring. No biggie. We had three other vehicles to share. The next day amid the coldest temperatures we've had in years, my daughter's Buick died. Okay, we're down to two vehicles. Still manageable with a little cooperation and ride-sharing.

The very next day I'm sitting in my living room trying to talk myself out of watching Season Three of Grey's Anatomy when my daughter runs into the house.

"My car's stopped and it's sitting right in the middle of the street!" she says, breathless and red-faced.

"When you say the 'middle'--" I reply and her face gets even redder.

"My car is sideways in the middle of the street!" she yells. "Help!"

That got me moving. I ran to the front door and opened it and looked out. Sure enough, her bright red Chyrsler was taking its share of the road out of the middle. I ran out and jumped in the car and not only could I not get the car started, I couldn't even get it in neutral so we could push it.

"Go call the city P.D.!" I told my daughter. "And a tow truck operator!"

Now, I've had a lot of experience sitting in the middle of highways and interstates before but I always had red lights mounted on the top to turn on so people can like see me before they slam into me. Since I live on a fairly busy highway, I was wishing for those top lights, big time. Eventually the police arrived and the two truck got there and the car was towed off to the repair shop three blocks away. Cost? $40 for three blocks transport. Hmm. Maybe Mr. Right should drive a tow truck.

Now we're down to one vehicle: Mom's little old GMC Jimmy. Fed up, I pull on my Michael Myers coveralls and go out to diagnose the Buick's issues. I jump in the car, shove the seat back, stick the key in the ignition, wiggle the gear shift lever around, turn the key and what happens? The friggin' car starts! Just like that.

Back up to two vehicles. Earlier today we picked up my other daughter's car at the repair shop--and all for the grand, low price of $579.92.

And now you know why I'm looking for Mr. Goodwrench.

So how is your week going?

~Bullet Hole Bacus~

13 comments:

Beth said...

Reminds me of a sign my husband bought me that says, "Car repairs. The other thing we need men for."

Christie Craig said...

Ahh Kathy,

Men do have their usefulness, don't they?

Sorry about your car problems. I think it has something to do with teenagers. My son can't get near a car without it starting to sputter. I think it might be all those teenage hormones revving up the cars’ engines and making them hungry for costly repairs.

Crime Scene Christie

Kathy Bacus said...

Your dh has a nice sense of humor, Beth. And as it happens, that's another 'must have' Mr. Right 'must have' now that I think about it.

~Bullet Hole~

Kathy Bacus said...

There's no motor revving here, Christie. If you were a teen-ager and had to drive a car the size of a military tank (with only slightly better gas mileage) the less attention you draw to yourself, the better... At least that's what I'm assured of by my children. The real kick here? The car with the most miles has been the most reliable.

Go figure.

~Bullet Hole~

Wendy Roberts said...

My dh has no fix-it abilities *sigh* and my week(s) since january have been filled with house and health disasters. Bring on spring. I'm ready ha ha!

Kathy Bacus said...

I'm with you, Wendy. Bring on some global warming! I've forgotten what it feels like to be warm.

~Bullet Hole~

Estella said...

I have been lucky with my car. Only one repair in 10 years. And it only cost $26.
My husband refuses to work on my car or even change the oil, because the thing is full of computer gadgets.

Gemma Halliday said...

Handy! That's a great trait...off to amend online dating profile, "Must have wrench"...

~Gemma

Kathy Bacus said...

I'm not sure but I think I hate you, Estella! ;) Care to share the make and model of that cherry--for when I need to go car shopping again...

~Bullet Hole~

Kathy Bacus said...

And remember, Gemma, size does count when it comes to wrenches...! I'm referring to metric vs. English here, naturally.

;)

~Bullet Hole~

Kathy Bacus said...

And remember, Gemma, size does count when it comes to wrenches...! I'm referring to metric vs. English here, naturally.

;)

~Bullet Hole~

Jenyfer said...

Right about now, my Mr. Right would be a scuba diving internet tech geek who could fix the cut lines down in the ocean floor on my side of the world. Your site must be charmed because I can get here but not to my email!! Feeling very cut off :(

On the other hand, I did get a lot of writing done in the last few days - always a silver lining.

I feel your pain on the car repairs though. We don't have a car at the moment and I can't say I miss the maintenance!

Kathy Bacus said...

Sounds like a winning combination for you right about now, jenyfer! The scuba diving instruction I could do without. Just the thought of strapping on a wet suit (I'm not sure I can suck in my stomach that much) and oxygen tank and jumping into the ocean scares the big girl pants off me. I'm also scared of heights but I'd rather sky dive than scuba dive any day.

Hope you get your email up and running soon!

~Bullet Hole~