Looking for Mr. Goodwrench

Unlike Trigger Happy Halliday, I'm not actively looking for Mr. Right. Between kids, school, writing--and life in general--I don't know where I'd squeeze Mr. Right in if I did happen to find him. However, there are times when the idea of having a man around the house is mighty tempting and I find that those times are somewhat dependent on what's occurring in my hectic life at the moment.

For example, during the ice storm several months back when I had tree limbs breaking off and hurling down onto my house, yard, and electrical wires, I had a hankering for a fellow who knew how to handle a chain saw and had access to a wood chipper. Quite the romantic here, huh?
Then, a couple weeks later when my bathroom plumbing was being ornery, the idea of a mate who drove one of those big white vans with slogans on the side like, 'We Come So You Can Go' or 'Be There in a Flush' was majorly appealing.

A few days ago I wished for an in-residence computer whisperer to troubleshoot my wireless. (I'm such a sweet talker. ) I frequently pine for a fellow who is at home in the kitchen--and that includes cooking AND clean up, by the way. And when a fuse blew last week, I was ready for a nice, single electrician to come and check out my wiring.

This week, I'm looking for Mr. Goodwrench. You see, we're a four car family--but this week? We were down to one running vehicle. Here's the deal. When you have new drivers, you tend not to invest in pricey automobiles so that leaves you with 'reliable' used cars that won't cause you to rip your clothing or pull your hair out when 'someone' dings one of the cars. The first car I added to the triplet fleet was a 1984 Mercury Grand Marquis better known as The Blockbuster. With only 53,000 miles--it was supposedly your quintessential 'old lady only drove it to church' bona fide vehicle. It's nickled and dimed me to death. It also sucks to drive on icy roads and gets about eight feet to the gallon so I thought I'd be clever and suspend the insurance until spring. No biggie. We had three other vehicles to share. The next day amid the coldest temperatures we've had in years, my daughter's Buick died. Okay, we're down to two vehicles. Still manageable with a little cooperation and ride-sharing.

The very next day I'm sitting in my living room trying to talk myself out of watching Season Three of Grey's Anatomy when my daughter runs into the house.

"My car's stopped and it's sitting right in the middle of the street!" she says, breathless and red-faced.

"When you say the 'middle'--" I reply and her face gets even redder.

"My car is sideways in the middle of the street!" she yells. "Help!"

That got me moving. I ran to the front door and opened it and looked out. Sure enough, her bright red Chyrsler was taking its share of the road out of the middle. I ran out and jumped in the car and not only could I not get the car started, I couldn't even get it in neutral so we could push it.

"Go call the city P.D.!" I told my daughter. "And a tow truck operator!"

Now, I've had a lot of experience sitting in the middle of highways and interstates before but I always had red lights mounted on the top to turn on so people can like see me before they slam into me. Since I live on a fairly busy highway, I was wishing for those top lights, big time. Eventually the police arrived and the two truck got there and the car was towed off to the repair shop three blocks away. Cost? $40 for three blocks transport. Hmm. Maybe Mr. Right should drive a tow truck.

Now we're down to one vehicle: Mom's little old GMC Jimmy. Fed up, I pull on my Michael Myers coveralls and go out to diagnose the Buick's issues. I jump in the car, shove the seat back, stick the key in the ignition, wiggle the gear shift lever around, turn the key and what happens? The friggin' car starts! Just like that.

Back up to two vehicles. Earlier today we picked up my other daughter's car at the repair shop--and all for the grand, low price of $579.92.

And now you know why I'm looking for Mr. Goodwrench.

So how is your week going?

~Bullet Hole Bacus~