Friday, December 14, 2007

Gemma has a blind date

Christie reminded me this week that it’s been awhile since I posted any of my dating exploits. She’s right. Mostly because I haven’t had any. What is it about the cold weather that makes guys hibernate? I swear it’s been so quiet out there on the singles front that I almost flirted with Santa when I sat on his lap at the mall. (Almost.)

But… I am pleased to announce that I have a date this weekend. A blind date. You heard me right. Yeah, I’m that brave. A blind date. As in, sight unseen. As in, he could be anything from Carey Grant to the Guinness Book’s wolf man. Okay, so I have seen pictures of BD Guy. I mean, I’m not that brave. But with the many copies of Photoshop for Dummies floating around, photos can only tell you so much. So, here’s what I know so far:
a) Rides a motorcycle (a little dangerous, but who doesn’t love a bad boy, right?)
b) Very artistic (read, good with his hands. Wink, wink)
c) Great voice (info gleaned through many a phone conversation… oh, which reminds me…)
d) Good conversationalist (very important. Especially if he ends up looking like wolf man.)

So far so good, right? We’re meeting for coffee tomorrow, so I’ll be sure to fill you in on all the dirt next week. I’m just crossing my fingers and praying to the Good Date Gods that he won’t turn out to be a hairy backed wookie (see archived posts – shudder!), a bicycle thief (more archived posts - more shuddering) or married (I just realized what a sad collection my archived posts must be. Oy vey.) .

So, until next week’s episode in Gemma’s date book, here’s one of my finer blind date moments from guys past. It was a couple years ago and I was getting ready to go to a movie with this guy I’d been emailing with for a few weeks. He seemed really nice, down to earth, sweet as can be, and from the few pics he sent even kind of cute. So I had hope. I went over to my best friend’s place to get ready for the date. After we did my hair, nails, selected the right outfit and shoe combo, I was pretty confident that I looked hot. If the date was a bust, it wouldn’t be on my part.

My best friend has a son who was a little guy at the time and, completely uninterested in the girlie stuff going on, had fallen asleep on BFF’s bed. Which is when BFF realized she was out of overnight diapers and, if left unremedied, her bed would resemble Niagara falls in the morning. In a panic, she begged me to pick up some diapers for her while I was out. I tried to get out of it – going on a Pampers run isn’t exactly a huge turn on for single hot guys. But, since BFF had done my hair, I promised her I’d pick something up on my way home.

Luckily for me, the traffic on the way to the theater was really light. So, I got there about fifteen minutes early. And right next door was a grocery store. Woohoo! I could snag the Pampers, stash them in my trunk and my date would be none the wiser. I quickly slipped into the store and scanned the aisles for diapers. Found them, grabbed a pack and headed to the check out line. As I’m walking toward it, I see this guy walking from the other end of the store toward the line, too. And, as he approaches, I get this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. Yep, you guessed it. It was my date. I looked wildly for somewhere to stash the Pampers, but it was too late. I was caught diaper handed.

“Gemma?” he asked, looking a little unsure, his gaze straying to the diapers. “What are you doing here?”

What could I do? So, I told him about BFF and her little fire hose of a son, trying not to turn bright red as I talked to the hot guy, my baby butt covers in one hand. Let me tell you, I was pretty sure I was topping out on the embarrassment scale.

That is, until I spied the emergency pre-date purchase in his hands.

Anyone have a guess?

Condoms.

Mental forehead smack. So, it turned out to be a very good thing BFF made me go on that diaper run. Otherwise, who knows how long it would have taken me to realize I was out with One Night Stand Guy.

Let’s hope tomorrow goes better.

~Gemma "Trigger Happy" Halliday

25 comments:

Christie Craig said...

Oh Gemma,

I'm so glad I reminded you to blog about these dates. I love, love hearing about them. I mean...seriously, this is what my books are made up of. Romance gone wild.

You made me laugh girl.

CC

Jana DeLeon said...

OMG - that is priceless!!!!! Did you call him out on the condoms?

Kathy Bacus said...

Ohmigosh, Gemma! Your dating experiences have just got to show up in your books---uh, that is if they haven't already...

Thanks for the laughs!

~Kat~

Gemma Halliday said...

Jana - Yeah, I think the look I gave him was enough to let him know he didn't really have to buy those. It was a VERY short date after that.

~Gemma

Gemma Halliday said...

Kathy - I have a few writer friends who have threatened that if I don't write a dating book, they're stealing all my stories and writing one themselves. Lol! I'm thinking about it.
"The Awesomely Bad Adventures of a Romance Writer Looking for Love" ;)

~Gemma

Jenyfer Matthews said...

What I want to know is: do these guys know you are blogging about them???

Good luck with coffee!!

Leah said...

Wait... you sat on Santa's lap?

Faye Hughes said...

Gemma, this is just too funny, girl. I'm with Jana on this one: Did you call him out on his pre-date buy of condoms?

Faye, who can't wait for the weekend update!

Estella said...

Good Luck with your blind date, Gemma!

ruth said...

What a story! yes, it should be a book. Such adventures.

petite said...

What a meeting. I hope that your date works out. Best of luck.

Gemma Halliday said...

Leah - um, yeah, I did. Is that wrong? :) It was the red suit. I'm a sucker for a man in uniform.

~Gemma

Tori Lennox said...

Your dating exploits make me wonder if I should be thankful I haven't been on one in eons. *g*

Gemma Halliday said...

Jenyfer - No! And don't tell them. Lol!

~Gemma

Gemma Halliday said...

Tori - I'm going with the law of averages here. The more dates I go on the better my chance of finding a keeper, right? Either that, or I'll eventually have gone through every man in Cali. Process of elimination.

~Gemma

Lucy said...

Your blog reminded me of something...did you blog about your speed dating experience? (Archives here I come?)

Hope you have better luck on this date than you did the condom boy date. :-)

Gemma Halliday said...

Lucy - No, I didn't! I was all set to go speed dating then I got sick that day. With laryngitis no less. They only have the event once a month, so I’m scheduled for January. You know, unless BD Guy tomorrow is just a total keeper.

~Gemma

Dru said...

OMG! That is too funny. Have fun on your blind date and I hope it's not a disappointment.

Gemma Halliday said...

I woke up this morning... with the flu! Waaaa! If there's any first impression I DON'T want to make it's chapped lips and snotty nose. I hate winter germs. I'm gonna call Mr. BD and see if we can reschedule for sometime during the week. I'm so bummed. :( I'll keep you posted. *sniffle, sniffle*

~Gemma

Kendra said...

I'm glad I wasn't holding my coffee while reading this post! I needed that laugh this morning. Too bad you have to reschedule.

I like the motorcycle part. Something about a man on a bike gets my attention every time.

Jenyfer Matthews said...

Feel better soon, Gemma!

anne said...

Enjoy your date and wishing you best of luck.

Gemma Halliday said...

Thanks! I'm still sniffling today, but hoping BD Guy and I can meet sometime this week. As soon as the nose faucet turns off. Oy.

~Gemma

Toni Sue said...

Loved the date post! Blind dates are usually the worst. (yes, I speak from experience here as well! I'd offer some of my stories, but it sounds like you have it covered.) So, how goes the 'nose faucet', as you so eloquintly phrased it? Any news on the dating front??? Hey, those of us without a life are depending one you! Spill it ;)

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