Friday, December 28, 2007

Coffee with the Surfer

I hope all of you killer ladies out there had a great Christmas. Mine was fantastic! I got tons of great presents, including an adorable diamond “Gemma” necklace just like the “Carrie” necklace from Sex and the City. Too cool! Also a Barnes & Noble gift card I will be putting to good use, some blinged out bracelets, and an Andy Warhol “shoes” mouse pad. Love it all! Of course, Santa did overlook my request to have Johnny Depp tied up au naturale with a bow under my tree, but I guess I’ll just have to work on being an even better girl in 2008 for that gift. I did spend the day with family and friends, playing with all our new toys, and, instead of doing the hand up the turkey’s you-know-what that Christie braved (you are my hero, girl), we had Christmas pizzas with red and green peppers on top. And Irish cream martinis – yum, to die for!

With all the merry making over, I’ve turned my sights to the new year and one of my favorite things about this season – New Year's resolutions. I have a few this year, some professional, some personal. But there is one stand out for me this year: My best friend Suze and I have both resolved to find Mr. Right in 2008, even if it means we have to go through the entire west coast supply of single men in the process. So, look out – you all will be getting my bad date recaps in spades this year!

So, to get a jump-start… I have a coffee date this afternoon. A thirty-something computer guru ($) slash surfer (anyone else having flashbacks of Keanu Reeves circa Point Break?). Mr. Surfer is a single dad of two little munchkins (responsible!), lives near the beach (location, location, location) and loves to go out dancing (never a bad thing to have a man that knows how to move). We’re meeting at 1pm, so I’ll add an update here post-date. Wish me luck!

In the meantime, anyone else have 2008 resolutions they want to share?

There are days I hate being a woman. WARNING: This is not for the faint of heart. If you are male, read no further. Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you…

So, I put on my cute outfit, pair of earrings, fluff the hair up a little. I work out my emergency plan with Suze. (“If he’s awful, I go in the bathroom, text you 911, and you call me back in two minutes to say the house is on fire.”) Then, I brave the drizzly weather, hop in my little car and get to the coffee place a few minutes early. (You know, ‘cause it’s always good to scope out possible escape routes ahead of time.) I grab a latte and settle into a table near the window with the latest JD Robb book to wait for Mr. Wonderful to arrive.

But, here’s the thing. Something about the anticipation of a blind date makes me incredibly nervous. Which in turn makes me have to pee. So, I get up and go visit the ladies’ room. Guess what I find? (Yeah, this is the part that will squick the guys out.) Aunt Flo has come for an early visit. Two minutes before Mr. Wonderful is due to arrive! I frantically dig in my purse before remembering I used my last emergency goody at the mall last month and forgot to replenish the purse. I’ve got nothing. And, this being a little neighborhood coffee house, they don’t have any of those handy throw-in-a-quarter-get-out-a-goody machines either. I’m sunk. So, I do the only thing I can. I grab a handful of paper towels and pull my stretchy shirt down way over my butt so no tell-tale bulge is visible. Okay, so very little tell-tale bulge is visible. I figure I can quickly slink back to my table, grab my book, hightail it home for goodies, then get back here only marginally late for the date.

So, feeling like I’m wearing some sort of funky diaper, I waddle my way back to my table. Just as… (you guessed it)… Mr. Wonderful walks in the door. And wouldn’t you know it, he’s adorable in person. Sigh. I quickly sit down at the table (lest he notice my bulgy butt) and let the little hamster in my head run a marathon as I try to figure out what to do next. I can go back to the bathroom, text Suze, and wait for her emergency call. The only problem with this is that he will definitely get a great view of bulgy butt as I walk across the room again. Not to mention, he’s really cute! The last thing I want is for him to think I’m ditching him.

I briefly contemplate plan B, telling him the truth, but realize if I go with that plan he’ll be the one calling his phone-a-friend for a fake emergency escape route.

Which leaves me only one more option. I cross my legs, hold my breath, and pray he doesn’t notice as I nod, smile and try to make witty small talk. (Call me a multi-tasker.)

And apparently, even with Aunt Flo looming over me, I succeed. He asked if I'd like to go out again sometime. To which I readily agreed. Only, this time, I will definitely make sure I have an emergency stash on hand. Never leave home without them, girls!

~Gemma "Trigger Happy" Halliday


Shelli Stevens said...

Gemma your necklace sounds fabulous! And this date with the surfer? Got my fingers crossed. I like that resolution to find Mr. Right... I don't think I could do that yet! LOL.

ellie said...

Best of luck with the date. Prezzies sounds wonderful. Best wishes for the new year.

ruth said...

Hope that your date is a success. From your description sounds interesting.

Kathy Bacus said...

So glad you had a super Christmas, Gemma! Can't wait to hear about your 'coffee connection' this afternoon.

I'm still in the process of finalizing my 2008 resolutions. I gave up drinking any kind of soda or pop in August so that's off the table--although I'm not quite sure how I'll finish my March book without my customary jug of Coke and giant chocolate bar.

Will check in later to hear how things went!

~Bullet Hole~

Gemma Halliday said...

Thanks for the good vibes, everyone! Since it finally got cold here today (though no where near Iowa cold) I'm thinking the date outfit is: jeans, stretchy black top, these new pointy-toed boots I just got, a pink cashmere scarf and a black wool coat. What do we think - too much black?


diane said...

Good luck and your outfit sounds amazing and striking.

Christie Craig said...


Glad your Christmas was great and Santa was good to you. And as for my Turkey inspection, well, I'm happy to forget about it for another year or so.

Good luck with that date and your New Years Resolution. I'm looking forward to hearing about all your adventures as you search for Mr. Right.

As for New Year Resolutions? I'm getting mine in order now. And plan to share them in my next blog. Lots of stuff to work on.

Crime Scene Christie

Dru said...

Enjoy your date and I hope it is a success.

Tori Lennox said...

Great Christmas haul, Gemma!

I'm looking forward to your date report. :)

Estella said...

Am looking forward to your date report.

Lucy said...

Well, at least you saved the date. I don't think I could have maintained under the circumstances. Glad it went reasonably well.

Wendy said...

Gemma, smart thinking there! I'm glad it all work out.

I've actually never come up with New Years Resolution - maybe I'll change that for 2008. :)

Jenyfer Matthews said...

Gemma - Alls well that ends well, right? Hey, could have been worse - you might NOT have noticed Aunt Flo in time and just think of the rear view he'd have gotten then!

Can't wait to hear about further dating adventures with Mr. Surfer Dad. It's not quite 2008 yet and you're on the right track already!

Want a pix of the "Gemma" necklace though!

Maureen said...

So funny and great that it worked out.

Stacy S said...

Hope the second date goes better than the first.

Faye Hughes said...


Girl, reading about your blind dates is one of my favorite things about the KillerFiction blog! And this latest episode is the reason why. LOL.

Here's to hoping you meet lots of hunky men in 2008...and blog about them all!


Tori Lennox said...

OMG!!! I think I would have died right on the spot. You are my hero for managing to save the date! And very cool that he wants to see you again. :)

Gemma Halliday said...

I was inches from dying on the spot, Tori! My face must have been bright red. Point for Mr. Surfer that he didn't mention it if it was.


Gemma Halliday said...

Thanks, Faye! I'm thinking I need to post some sort of warning to guys I go out with. "You will end up in my blog" Lol!


jenna said...

Love reading about your adventures and best wishes for the new year.

Anonymous said...

If you are serious about finding Mr. Right and getting married, have you considered using a matchmaker service? Not a dating service, but an actual matchmaker service? The advantages of doing so are many. You would be introduced to a man who meets your criteria and whose references have been checked. You would meet a man who is interested in a committment, and bypass all the one night stands, weirdo freako total nut cases. You would meet someone who has an education, a steady job, financial security, and goals common to your own. Hanging out in bars and blind dating, hoping for Mr. Right to appear, is romantic but maybe foolhardy. A lot of women take up with a feller because of his sex appeal, and enjoy a whirlwind courtship, during which they are made to feel that they are the most beautiful woman in the world, only to find themselves in a Dr. Jeckel/Mr. Hyde movie. I was swept off my feet by "John". After I married "John" I learned that he couldn't hold a job or manage money. He borowed money from our friends until I was embarrassed to look any of them in the eye, and he beat me regularly. He liked the chase, the game of love. Once he had me, he didn't want me anymore. After the first year he spent all his time with his male buddies playing war games. He won a National Merit Scholarship and had two degrees from a well known university. Looked like a prize, but wasn't. Then there was "James"--tall, dark, handsome, graceful dancer, fun to be with. Life of the party! So, I married him. He remained the life of the party. the only problem was I was not at the party. I was working seventy hours a week at two jobs to pay the bills. Nobody bothered with the kids. I didn't have time and he was too busy with the ladies. Two of the kids are in prison and one asked me not to have any further contact with him--and, oddly enough, I was willing to honor his request. "Charles" had many fine qualities. Good family background. Good manners. Once we were married and I was pregnant, he started flopping like a live fish in a frying pan. One day, he wanted to be married and the next day, he didn't. One day he wanted a family, the next day he didn't. His drug and alcohol use were also off and on. I finally left him and raised our son alone without a dime of child support. Now the child has found his daddy and they have bonded. Daddy has become Saint Charles the Perfect and the kid (who wants nothing more to do with me) resents me for not allowing him a lifelong relationship with this perfect man. Being a married woman can be a very lonely life. As a single woman, you have far more options for friendships and relationships, vacations, personal decisions, and the like. Being a married woman is a lot like being a child, asking permission to go here and do this and that. Of course, one can rebel, but usually there's hell to pay. When you get a husband, you usually get his family, like it or not. When my current husband is around his parents, he turns into someone I don't even know. Are there times when I am glad I'm married, for the 4th time? (Getting few and far between.) Are there times when I wish I'd never married and had kids? Frankly, yes. Bottom line, be careful. I could continue to feed you horror story after horror story of romances from hell. We all want to be selected as the fairest of them all, the one for me, the special one. Sometimes we are just the next victim, and too stary eyed to see what we are getting into.

Wendy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wendy said...

Oh.. mygod.

Gemma Halliday said...

Wow, thanks for sharing that, anonymous. So sorry about your bad experiences! I am trying to go into this with my eyes wide open. One reason I’m posting about it all here. I expect you all to pull me back if I ever veer too far the wrong direction with the wrong guy. I know I can count on my girls. :)


Anonymous said...

wendy sent me

Wendy said...

Haha, very funny anomymous - you Liz or Candy??

pearl said...

What an enlightening blog. I wish you the best of happiness and success for 2008. Thanks for this fun.

Dru said...

I'm so glad it worked out in the end and you have a second date. Have fun!

Gemma Halliday said...

Thanks, Pearl. We have fun here. :) Have a great New Year!


Gemma Halliday said...

Dru - I'll let you all know as soon as I hear from Mr. Wonderful about date #2. In the meantime, off to meet a new guy tonight. Yes, I am taking this resolution thing seriously! Will report back next week. :)


Kathy Bacus said...

I bet every woman who reads your update has a 'been there done that' moment relating to an unexpected 'visitor', Gemma.

I'm looking forward to the Date II debriefing!

~Bullet Hole~

another good thing said...

HAHA too funny. great character study, actually.
Found you from the LLC link.
Mind if I link you to my blog?

Anonymous said...

Advice from an old woman with a PAST:

1. Don't get pregnant
2. Don't get STD
3. Before you get too involved with him (living together, letting him move in on you, start lending him money) ask to see a copy of his income tax returns from the last 5 years.

Did I do that? Damn tootin I did!
I finally ended up with someone who can hold a job! What's the quote? "When poverty comes in the door, love goes out the window."

Why is that important?

1. There will be bills and they need to be paid.
2. Financial imcompatibility is a leading cause of divorce.
3. The only reason the divorce rate has dropped in this country is because people have started shacking up instead of getting married.
4. If you don't believe me, make the acquaintance of someone around 13-17 years in age, and ask about the home lives of many of the classmates.
5. Remember "Little House On The Prairie", the TV show or the books. Remember the play/movie OKLAHOMA? Before the wedding, there was filing the homestead claim, clearing the land, planting the crop, building the house, making the quilts and the tea towels, canning the vegetables and fruits, killing the hog and smoking the hams---preparation, so that married life had a "Comfort Zone".
Look around now days. Many men have done nothing to prepare themselves to be the head of a household and financially support a wife and children. Many couples start off with nothing but their wedding presents and their little piddly jobs. When hard times come, they have a HARD TIME and often take it out on each other--and the marriage is OVER!
6. Some pregnant women find themselves unable to work for medical reasons, and all babies are not healthy. Best not to count on two paychecks, unless one person works two jobs.
6. I hate to mention it, but Scott Peterson was several somebody's Mr. Right. SCOTTY THE HOTTIE's mail is delivered in bags, and MANY idiot women are writing to him wanting to be NEXT!
7. Don't believe me? Check out the Sunday Dallas Morning News around the first to the middle of
December. Front page article about the numerous women who come at their own expense to visit Texas Death Row prisoners, marry them, give them money. Many are from Europe! One of these women has opened a special rooming house for these women (from foreign countries) to stay.

Jenyfer Matthews said...

My eligible BIL lives in San Fran - so close, and yet so far!

Gemma Halliday said...

We'd love a link, Good Thing! Thanks so much!


Gemma Halliday said...

Jenyfer - we need to talk. How eligible is he? ;)