Gemma has a blind date

Christie reminded me this week that it’s been awhile since I posted any of my dating exploits. She’s right. Mostly because I haven’t had any. What is it about the cold weather that makes guys hibernate? I swear it’s been so quiet out there on the singles front that I almost flirted with Santa when I sat on his lap at the mall. (Almost.)

But… I am pleased to announce that I have a date this weekend. A blind date. You heard me right. Yeah, I’m that brave. A blind date. As in, sight unseen. As in, he could be anything from Carey Grant to the Guinness Book’s wolf man. Okay, so I have seen pictures of BD Guy. I mean, I’m not that brave. But with the many copies of Photoshop for Dummies floating around, photos can only tell you so much. So, here’s what I know so far:
a) Rides a motorcycle (a little dangerous, but who doesn’t love a bad boy, right?)
b) Very artistic (read, good with his hands. Wink, wink)
c) Great voice (info gleaned through many a phone conversation… oh, which reminds me…)
d) Good conversationalist (very important. Especially if he ends up looking like wolf man.)

So far so good, right? We’re meeting for coffee tomorrow, so I’ll be sure to fill you in on all the dirt next week. I’m just crossing my fingers and praying to the Good Date Gods that he won’t turn out to be a hairy backed wookie (see archived posts – shudder!), a bicycle thief (more archived posts - more shuddering) or married (I just realized what a sad collection my archived posts must be. Oy vey.) .

So, until next week’s episode in Gemma’s date book, here’s one of my finer blind date moments from guys past. It was a couple years ago and I was getting ready to go to a movie with this guy I’d been emailing with for a few weeks. He seemed really nice, down to earth, sweet as can be, and from the few pics he sent even kind of cute. So I had hope. I went over to my best friend’s place to get ready for the date. After we did my hair, nails, selected the right outfit and shoe combo, I was pretty confident that I looked hot. If the date was a bust, it wouldn’t be on my part.

My best friend has a son who was a little guy at the time and, completely uninterested in the girlie stuff going on, had fallen asleep on BFF’s bed. Which is when BFF realized she was out of overnight diapers and, if left unremedied, her bed would resemble Niagara falls in the morning. In a panic, she begged me to pick up some diapers for her while I was out. I tried to get out of it – going on a Pampers run isn’t exactly a huge turn on for single hot guys. But, since BFF had done my hair, I promised her I’d pick something up on my way home.

Luckily for me, the traffic on the way to the theater was really light. So, I got there about fifteen minutes early. And right next door was a grocery store. Woohoo! I could snag the Pampers, stash them in my trunk and my date would be none the wiser. I quickly slipped into the store and scanned the aisles for diapers. Found them, grabbed a pack and headed to the check out line. As I’m walking toward it, I see this guy walking from the other end of the store toward the line, too. And, as he approaches, I get this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. Yep, you guessed it. It was my date. I looked wildly for somewhere to stash the Pampers, but it was too late. I was caught diaper handed.

“Gemma?” he asked, looking a little unsure, his gaze straying to the diapers. “What are you doing here?”

What could I do? So, I told him about BFF and her little fire hose of a son, trying not to turn bright red as I talked to the hot guy, my baby butt covers in one hand. Let me tell you, I was pretty sure I was topping out on the embarrassment scale.

That is, until I spied the emergency pre-date purchase in his hands.

Anyone have a guess?

Condoms.

Mental forehead smack. So, it turned out to be a very good thing BFF made me go on that diaper run. Otherwise, who knows how long it would have taken me to realize I was out with One Night Stand Guy.

Let’s hope tomorrow goes better.

~Gemma "Trigger Happy" Halliday