Thursday, December 20, 2007

All I Want for Christmas is...

I know Christmas isn't about receiving. As the mother of four teenagers, I know this. As the mother of multiples who received a pair of socks the year I gave birth to triplets I get it. Really I do. Christmas is not about material things. If you gauge your holiday cheer by the quantity and quality of the haul you bring in at the end of the day, you're bound to be disappointed. Christmas is about something bigger. Something that has nothing to do with Nintendo Wii, Iphones, or Ipods.

But every once in a while I like to sit down and write out a list for the jolly ol' elf with the long white beard--just for fun--and just for the heck of it. So, here goes.

Dear Santa:

I've been a very good girl this year. (Okay, so 'girl' is probably pushing it. All right, fine. So the 'good' part is open for debate, too. I write fiction, after all.)

First off, Santa baby, this year I'd really like a car that actually starts when you put the key in it and turn it. Or alternatively, for mechanics to figure out why I've gone through three car batteries in three years. It's getting to the point that as soon as I jump in my vehicle I say a couple of 'Hail Marys' and perform the sign of the cross--and I'm not even Catholic.

Secondly, Ho Ho, I really could have used a nice, lightweight chainsaw this week (or a great-looking lumberjack type who works cheap). I went out to tackle the limbs in the front yard armed with nothing but a trusty tree saw. I ended up breaking the 'untrusty' tree saw in the first ten minutes and spent the rest of the morning breaking off limbs (tree variety) through sheer brute strength (and aided by overt, seething rage). By evening I was so sore I couldn't raise my hands above chest-height without screaming in pain. I collapsed on the living room sofa and spent the evening moaning.

Next, St. Nick, I could use a nice, long vacation somewhere that never, ever sees snow! After plowing through a revision request that made me want to poke my eyes out, losing power in the middle of the process, and busting my keester to get the revisions out ahead of schedule only to have them delivered two days late, ( I bet you wouldn't have been late!) has made me a little--testy. So a lovely white sand beach somewhere wouldn't go amiss.

Also, Kris, there's the little niggling issue of that next Calamity Jayne book due March 1st. You know the one. The one being downright stubborn and refusing to write itself. Bend over, would you, Santa, and take a looky see in that bag of yours and see if there's a go-getter muse in there with Bullet Hole's name on it.

A glowing Publishers Weekly review for my April book would be nice, as well, Santa. Feel free to throw in super sales, and the odd movie rights option.

And no one would believe this was my list, Santa, if I didn't include a request for a set of adult-sized cuddleduds and a thick pair of wool socks.

But most important of all, Mr. Claus, I really, really, really want health, happiness, joy, peace, and love for my family and friends this year.

So, what is on YOUR Christmas list this year?

~Bullet Hole Bacus wishing you all a very, merry Christmas~


Christie Craig said...


Loved your list.

Hmm... I need to pen my list to Santa. I did tell him what I wanted at the mall, but you can't be too careful.

Thanks for the chuckle. Merry Christmas!

Crime Scene Christie

Kathy Bacus said...

Thanks, Christie. Hope you get everything you want this Christmas! We all know you've been a good girl!

~Bullet Hole~

Jenyfer Matthews said...

Poor you! Tell you what - you get yourself to Cairo and I'll make up the couch for you. We lose power from time to time but not for long stretches and there are no icicles or snow in sight!

As for me? I'd like to make it through Christmas morning without hearing any whining (mine or otherwise!)

Kathy Bacus said...

I just might take you up on that offer, Jenyfer, especially given the wonderful news that we have another winter storm complete with ice, snow, AND wind heading in our direction late tonight. What I wouldn't give for some fun in the sun right about now.

And the 'whine-free' (note the 'h') holiday ranks right up there with me, too. A respite from the political ads that are bludgeoning us to death here in the Heartland pre-caucus sounds awfully nice, as well.

~Bullet Hole~

Gemma Halliday said...

Yikes! I don't envy the snowbound. It hit 38 here in Cali today and still I saw die-hards in shorts this morning. We don't do cold weather well.

I have a May 1st book due that I wouldn't mind Santa pulling another muse out of his bag for. And if the PW people are in such a great mood after reading your April book, maybe they'll give me a nice review for my May one, too?


Anonymous said...

From your pen (metamorphicly speaking, your blogging after all) to Santa's delivery schedule. Best wishes for the Holidays.
Just finished Calamity Jane Goes to College. I laughed so hard during the wedding scene I had to wait for the tears to stop so I could continue reading. I've already bought the next book and can't wait untill you finish the one after that.

Kathy Bacus said...

Initially I was given a May release date for FIANCE AT HER FINGERTIPS, but recently saw it listed as April 29th, Gemma, so maybe we can do some joint PR! And I'm already sweating the PW review due to the number of revisions I had to make--and the time I had to do it in. It will be one of those hands over my eyes and peeking between my fingers review readings.

~Bullet Hole hoping the snow misses her this time around~

Kathy Bacus said...

Thanks, bookmobiler! So glad you enjoyed CJ GOES TO COLLEGE. Hope you get a kick out of HEADS WEST. The best thing about the book I'm working on now, ANCHORS AWEIGH, is that it's set aboard a cruise ship where it's warm! I can 'make-believe' I'm sunning myself by the pool sipping a fruity beverage watching Tressa get into trouble.

Have a very merry Christmas and happy holiday season!

~Bullet Hole~

Anonymous said...

Can we start a book on how long it takes the cruise ship to sink under Calamity?

Sorry you wouldn't be eligible to participate. To easy for you to cheat. :)

Tori Lennox said...

A great list, Kathy! I'm still working on my letter to Santa. :)

Kathy Bacus said...

Shiver me timbers, bookmobiler, that's a wager this here scribe would like to have a piece of. Arrgh!

I'm having a good bit of fun with the pirate lingo for the next book.

Can you tell?

~Bullet Hole who thinks she needs to watch Pirates of the Caribbean I, II, and III to get in the 'mood'

Kathy Bacus said...

Better get crackin', Tori, and finish that letter. (And whatever you do, don't send it priority mail!!!)

I figure it doesn't hurt to make my feelings known to the jolly, ol' fellow. And who knows? Maybe a gorgeous Paul Bunyon type reads this blog...

~Bullet Hole~