Once More Into The Breach, Dear Friends, Once More; Or Close The Wall Up With Our Lego Dead!

Okay. So I'm a total Shakespeare geek. But there's something about Henry V and Agincourt that rings true about Christmas at our house. No, we didn't battle the French for dominance (although that might have been fun), and no, no actual Legos were harmed (seriously - their heads just pop back on) in the making of this photo.

What actually did happen was that I learned something while Tom and I stayed up until 2 a.m. putting together Jack's #$%$#*!!! Lego castle. Number one - Hannah Montana's Stage is much easier to put together. And two - Lego has achieved god-like status (at least in my eyes) when putting together those instruction books.

I say books, because the word "booklet" doesn't even come close to describing what the Lego company has put together. There, in full color, gooey, glossy goodness is a 5,000 page, step-by-step tome on how to put each of the 25 million pieces together. It's a wonder of printing. I think the manual cost more than the actual toy. . .that, um, Santa brought.

So, for four hours, my husband and I swore up a blue streak, talked to ourselves like madmen, hissed at each other when an errant hand invaded our carefully organized set, and scrambled for pieces as they fell on the floor as if they were priceless diamonds. Meanwhile, Jack and his cousin Gavin ran into the dining room every five minutes asking if we were done.

When we finally finished it - Tom and I toyed with hosing it down with super glue and forbidding the kids from ever, ever, ever playing with it.

We didn't actually do that. How do you give a shrieking seven-year old a toy then tell him he can't play with it? I DARE you to try it. (And if it works - could you call me?)

You know, it's too bad writing doesn't come with a step-by-step manual - with nouns, verbs and adjectives in clear, plastic bags with large numbers on them. These would be color-coded according to character development, plot points and of course - the dreaded black moment.

Interestingly enough, I do considerably less swearing when I write. And no one runs into my office every five minutes to ask if I'm done yet (well, no one who wants to stay ALIVE would do that). So, I guess it all evens out in the end.

We got the Lego castle done (which I thought should be A LOT bigger after all that work). It was a Hallmark Channel-worthy Christmas miracle (where I would be played by Angelina Jolie, of course).

Happy Holidays!

The Assassin