Why did the blonde cross the road...

I just started working on the 5th High Heels book, in which Maddie and her cast of kooky friends encounter a murder among the world of wedding planners. So far, I’m having a blast. Two blondes in super high heels chasing after a killer on the loose - what’s more fun than that, right? So, in honor of Maddie’s sometime less-than-rocket-scientist blunders, I’ve complied a list of my fav blonde jokes. Enjoy!

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
Last year's hide and seek champ.

How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
There's white-out on the screen.

Why did the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.

What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
Bigfoot has been sighted

Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
She kept having affairs with men!

What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A dope ring.

What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
Change.


Making Babies:

Three women who were at the gynecologist having pre-natal checkups The doctor asked the first woman "in what position was the baby conceived ?"

"He was on top, " she replied.

"You will have a boy!" the doctor exclaimed.

The second woman was asked the same question.

"I was on top, " was the reply.

"You will have a baby girl, " said the doctor.

With this, the third women, a blonde, burst into tears.

"What's the matter?" asked the doc.

"Am I going to have puppies?"


Terminology used by blonde nurses:

Artery -- study of paintings
Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria
Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails
Caesarian section -- district in Rome
Cat scan -- searching for kitty
Cauterize -- made eye contact with her
Diarrhea -- journal of daily events
Dilate -- to live long
Fibula -- a small lie
Hangnail -- coat hook
Impotent -- distinguished, well known
Labor pain -- got hurt at work
Morbid -- higher offer
Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate
Node -- was aware of
Outpatient -- person who had fainted
Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- letter carrier
Rectum -- damn near killed 'em
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- study of knighthood
Tablet -- small tab
Terminal Illness -- sickness at airport
Tibia -- country in North Africa
Tumor -- an extra pair
Urine -- opposite of you're out
Vein – conceited


And finally…

Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
So brunettes can remember them. (hehe)


Anyone else have some good blonde jokes? Lay 'em on me.


~ Gemma "Trigger Happy" Halliday