Friday, November 23, 2007

‘Twas the day after Thanksgiving

‘Twas the day after Thanksgiving when all through the shops,
Soon there’d be shoppers, pulling out all the stops.
Clearance signs were hung in the windows with care,
Touting big savings, specials and great gifts to share.

At dawn, shoppers waited two and three deep,
To get their hands on the bulging clearance heaps.
Early bird specials and sale signs galore,
Urging them to fill up their bags with more.

When out from the PA there arose a loud roar,
“Doors are open. TMX Elmo, aisle four!”
Away to the aisle they flew in a rush,
Throwing elbow and curses and getting all flushed.

The perfect gift for a girl or a boy,
They’d be Supermom for getting that toy.
When what to their overtired eyes did appear?
But a sold out sign, “Sorry, try again next year.”

And the frenzy didn’t stop in the toy aisle, oh no,
Half priced electronics where the next thing to go.
Jewelry, watches and fine perfumes too,
Flew off the shelves as the shoppers blew through.

With the breaking of dawn, the lots filled to the top,
And as the day wore on, the crowds didn’t stop.
More rapid than lightning the hordes multiplied,
They whistled and shouted and gave a battle cry:

“Now Gap! Now Gucci! Now Abercrombie and Fitch!
On Nike! On Prada! Out of my way, you bitch!
To the top of the escalator, to the top of the mall
Now shop away, shop away shop away all!”

As wild beast before a feeding frenzy attack,
Shoppers were armed with their game plans in tact.
So up to the boutiques and strip malls they came
With a wallets full of bills and charge cards in their names.

A cell phone for Jimmy, an ipod for Sue,
An electric nose hair trimmer for old Uncle Stu.
With coupons clenched in their tight little fists,
They wouldn’t slow down ‘til they’d checked off their lists.

Grab bag gifts for the office pool,
Stocking stuffers, trimmings and lights that looked cool.
Their hearts filled with generosity of the season,
But then, if it was on sale, did they really need a reason?

The racks, how they emptied, the shelves soon laid bare,
All the toys in the carts, no last Elmo spared.
The stores were soon plucked like that Thanksgiving bird,
The salespeople dazed by the holiday herd.

They spared not a word, shopping with all their might,
Checked off their lists, then turned to take flight.
And putting their wallets back in their bags,
They left in a flurry of receipts and tags.

They sprang to their SUV’s, to the traffic they took,
And away they all flew, with tired dazed looks.
But I heard them exclaim, ‘ere they honked their horns twice,
“Happy shopping to all, and to all a good price!”

~Gemma "Trigger Happy" Halliday


Christie Craig said...

Very...very cute, Gemma! And so true.

Which is why I'm not going near a store today.

Happy Holidays...

I think we can say that now, right? It is officially after Thanksgiving now.

Crime Scene Christie

Jenyfer Matthews said...

You are GOOD!

I worked retail through my college years. I would volunteer to work on Thanksgiving just so I could avoid being anywhere near a store the day after!! I'd rather pay more and have my sanity...

Shelli Stevens said...

Ha! That is so great :) I won't ask how long it took you to write! I love it though. Yeah I didn't brave the BIG specials on Black Friday. Because you have to be seriously aggressive to get one of the twelve big ticket items. Hee hee.

Tori Lennox said...

That's was wicked brilliant, Gemma!!!

catslady said...

Hilarious and like the others before me - when hell freezes over lol.

Gemma Halliday said...

I'll admit, I'm doing my Black Friday shopping online today. In my jammies. :)


Shel said...

Very nice - I've forgone my Black Friday shopping tradition this year. Maybe I'll forget the pain by next year and venture out.

Enjoy your left-overs.

Night Diva said...

LOL Fabulous!!
I'm not shopping- I'm snuggling in a soft fuzzy blanket in front of the computer :D

Happy Holidays!!

Dru said...

That was excellent Gemma!

Estella said...

So true! I don't go near a store on Black Friday, or the rest of the weekend either.

Shante' said...

So cute Gemma and very true! I also did my shopping from home in my jammies this year.

Kathy Bacus said...

Nicely done, Trigger Happy! Makes me SO glad I opted to stay home this year!!

~Bullet Hole~

Gemma Halliday said...

Thanks everyone! I had way too much fun writing this. Deadline, what deadline? ;)


Wendy said...

Lol! that's great. :)

Bethany True said...


Jana DeLeon said...

That is too cute! And exactly the reason why I stayed home on Friday. :)