In Moderation

With the holiday season upon us, I was reminded of a motto that I have a tendency to purposfully forget. Thanksgiving day, my husband and I were at my parents' house for the traditional feast (well, we're from Louisiana, so our traditional feast includes dirty rice and baked beans, but hey, who's complaining), along with my brother, sister-in-law and my niece. My niece, who will be three in January, usually doesn't miss a trick unless distracted, and that's exactly what I did. I distracted her with a giant stuffed cow and baby cow.

She was so busy hugging her new toys that when her mom said "what do we say?" trying to prompt her "thank you," she replied instead with her comeback for when you ask her if she wants a piece of candy - "in moderation." I have to admit, it never ceases to tickle me that a two-year-old has a better grasp of that term than I do (even if it is occasionally misued when enamored with stuffed cows). So it immediately sent me off thinking about how the holidays are not really a time that moderation is the foremost item on people's mind. With all the food, gifts, decorations, etc. one could never call the holiday season moderate.

When we were on our way home, it occurred to me that romance novels don't subscribe to the "in moderation" motto either. In fact, they seem to beg for the exact opposite. The heroine can't just be cute with a good personality - she's got to be beautiful with a flaw like a hangnail. The hero had to be strong, ripped, must actually listen to the heroine AND remember what she says, must love children and cats, and must never, ever get impatient when one doesn't drive a stick shift or know tools the way he does. All the characters must be larger than life and it's even better if the setting is so unique and alive that it becomes a character of its own. And heaven knows the sex is not moderate. The hero must be able to pull off a nickname like "the walking tri-pod." He must know how to perform and enjoy foreplay and must never, ever fall asleep immediately afterward. Longer, faster, harder, more, seem to be what the readers want (especially if my editorial notes are any indication).

And you know what - I think it's great! Romance books are SUPPOSED to be the fantasy. Romance books are SUPPOSED to be the escape - the place where every woman gets to live her dream through the actions of a character she's bonded with. Who wants to pay $6.99 to read about a sink full of dishes, a cat with a hairball problem, and a man who leaves his dirty underwear on the floor and won't take out the trash? Not me!

So bring on the gluttony of romance. Moderation is over-rated anyway.

Deadly DeLeon