Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Twas the Day After Christmas and the Cops Came to the Craig House

Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
It was about three in the morning when we were awoken with a bam-and-bang clatter.
We should have gotten up to go see what was the matter.
Instead, hubby and me both went to pee and stumbled back to bed.
Too early for there to be any sugar canes dancing in our heads.
But when daylight hit
I hear my son yell, “SHIT!”
And the bam and bang was suddenly explained.

(Okay, I’m gonna stop this rhyming stuff, because I’m bad at it.)

Here’s the unrhymed version:

The day after Christmas, at three in the morning my son’s truck, parked in front of our house, was hit. And hit hard. While the noise woke us up, we failed to investigate. But hey, it was three in the morning. When son went to leave the next morning, he found his damaged truck, with automobile parts, bumpers, grills and headlights and taillights, some from his truck and some not, littering the street.

You know, at age eighteen, having your truck (AKA: your hot-babe pick-up machine) damaged feels like the end of the world. It took me five minutes to convince my son–in his state of fury—that finding your truck wreaked in front of your house was not a 911 emergency. After talking the phone out of his hands (it was close, I swear he was about to call out the swat team) we called the police.

My son continued to rant. “How could this happen? Don’t you know I only carry liability insurance on this truck? Do you know how much it’s gonna cost to fix this? Why isn’t this considered an emergency?”

You know, I’m certain I’ve told my son that life isn’t always fair, that bad things sometimes happen to good people, but of course, teenagers never listen. Ahh, but my heart still bled for him and to prove it, I gave him my husband’s keys and let him drive his car for the day. (No my heart didn’t bleed so much that I’d give him my car.)

When the cop showed up, he crossed his arms over his ample chest and came to an amazing conclusion. “I’ll bet someone was drunk when he hit this.”

Duh, ya think?

I wish I could tell you that the cop was a total hunk, but nope, he sort of looked like the cop who shot Sue’s couch in my book, Divorced, Desperate and Dating. He looked more like Archie Bunker than he did any of my cop heroes.

Here’s how most of the conversation went.

Cop: They really plowed into that truck.
Hubby: Yup.
Cop: I’ll bet whoever hit this is sore and really pissed this morning.
Me: Not as sore or as pissed as my son is.
Cop: He’s only carrying liability insurance, huh?
Me: Yup.
Cop: Have you ever explained to him that life isn’t fair?
Hubby and I at the same time: Yup.
Cop: They never listen, do they?
Hubby and I: Nope.
Cop: I think some of these parts strewn everyone belongs to the vehicle that hit you.
Hubby: Yup.
Cop: I should take some of them to see if I can get a make of the car. Let me get a bag. (Cop gets a garbage bag out of his Black and White and starts picking up parts.)
Me: You aren’t wearing gloves.
Cop: Huh?
Me: You’re tainting the evidence.
Cop: Tainting it?
Me: Now they won’t be able to check for prints or DNA evidence. And it will be thrown out of court if they do find something.
Cop: (Realizing I’m either a smartass, crazy, or joking--little did he know it was all three.) Oh, damn! I must have left my gloves at home.
Me: (In my serious voice) I’ve heard of cops getting fired for less.
Cop: What are you like some crime-show or CSI freak?
Me: No, just a mystery writer.
Cop: I’m impressed.
Hubby: Don’t be. She makes up freaky crap and writes about it.
Cop: Laughs. (He’s looking and acting more and more like Archie Bunker—so is hubby for that matter!)
Hubby: (Half joking) You’re gonna call us by this afternoon with the name of the owner of the car, aren’t you?
Cop: Uhhh . . .
Me: Come on. It’s Christmas. Miracles sometimes happen.
Hubby: You aren’t ever going catch this guy, are you?
Cop: Not unless he walks into the police station and confesses.

(See, I told you, Son, sometimes life just isn’t fair.)

Now the real kicker came when the cop said that he had to go across the street and talk to our neighbors. No, they hadn’t had a car ran into, but someone had stolen one of their boys’ new bikes from the front yard, and . . . (this is where it gets weird) left a girl’s bike in its place. Would that make the thief a decent person or not? My question is: Is the bike swapper the same person who hit my son’s car?

Now I know you think I’m making this stuff up, but seriously, this kind of crap only happens in real life. And fiction is so much better, because if I was writing this, that cop would have been drop dead gorgeous, and I would have been 15 years younger, thinner, and single. Oh, and there probably would have been a body in my front yard.

So what about you? Any weird stuff to report? How’s your new year ringing in? Are you holding tight to those New Year’s resolutions? Come on, share a bit.



Jenyfer Matthews said...

So sorry to hear at your son's truck. What comes around goes around. Karma is a b*tch!

By the way, I think I would have taken exception to my husband describing my writing as "freaky crap" :)

Keri Ford said...

Man, that sucks about your son! If I were you, I'd be tempted to got to the station and let them know just how inept their officers are. There could have been fingerprints. Or what about paint transfer??? Are they going to at the very least check with body shops and junk yards in the area to see if those parts are purchased? Looks to me like you should soo be taking this case in your own hands!!!

keri, who seems to be obsessed with excessive and exciting punctuation this morning!!

Leslie Langtry said...

Wow. You are so progressive to think of your son's truck as a "hot babe pick up machine!" I'm sure I'll still think of Jack's future vehicle as his "trike."

I love the part about leaving the girl's bike in place of the new one. That's a twist!

Very funny!

Keri Ford said...

Leslie, my son has these shirts that has a picture of a trik on is and it says, "My First ATV"

Another has a wagon and it reads, "My First SUV"

Christie Craig said...


I so believe in Karma.

And evidence aside, my hubby is my biggest fan.

Thanks so much for posting.


Christie Craig said...


It does suck. And while I haven't made it to any junk yards, you can bet I drove around the neighborhood looking for wreaked cars. We think it was a Ford truck because of the grill. Oh, and there were car parts all down the street, so we know which way the car went of while.

But in the end, it really is one of those things that you can't do a lot about. Ahh, but I just know Karma will make things right.


Christie Craig said...


The transformation happens when they hit around 12 when your son says, "WOW" and turn your head expecting to see a clown, or one of the big monkey promotional balloons and instead it's a blonde wearing tight jeans and a tank top.

They grow up into men, Leslie. We can't save the world. All we can do is try to teach them right. But they are male. :-)


Jana DeLeon said...

Bummer on the truck - I bet he carries full coverage now. Hell, I'd rather pay for full coverage than liability since my wrecks are never my fault!

Christie Craig said...


I know what you mean. It seems as if all the car accidents around these parts the last few years haven't been our fault.

I hope your car is fixed now.


Anonymous said...

Your poor son!!!

Christie Craig said...


Thanks for stopping in.

Yes, poor son. However, I have to say since no one was hurt, I think we got off lucky.


Teri Thackston said...

Only you, Christie. Only you.

Christie Craig said...


Only me, huh?

Okay, I'll admit it, quirky stuff does seem to follow me around, but what I want to know is what do I do to deserve it?

Was I like some kind of criminal in another life? Or is Karma for making up all the crazy stuff to put into my books. But wait, if that were so, you would have some pretty scary stuff raining down on your head, too.


Teri Thackston said...

True...I guess I would rather have funny than scary!

Colleen Thompson said...

Sorry to hear about your son's truck! Weird about the girl's bike. The thief probably stole that one first but really wanted a boy's model.

And yep, alcohol or drugs had to've been involved.

As the mom of a newly-19 y.o., I absolutely understand why you were carrying liability only. Those premiums are sky high.

And my holiday was (rolling eyes toward heaven) completely normal, thank you.

Nancy Kay Bowden said...

Our holidays were way too calm. I LOVED IT!!! No drama at our house!!!

Have you heard this tale from the POV of the boy who ended up with by the pink bike? (There's a story in there. Sorry--I write YA, lol.) There were tires burning through the neighborhood one night during the holidays, and it makes me wonder (more YA stuff?) if your son's truck was a casualty of drag racing on our winding roads. But the pink bike...? Hmmmm.

Christie Craig said...

Ahh Colleen,

Girl, I know how much it cost you to post so thank you!!

Guys, I'm gonna tell on Colleen. She might kill me, but guess who broke her elbow New Year's Eve? And guess how? I told Colleen, if I had to break a bone, I wanted it to be the way she did it. It was way cool.

She broke it trying out her son's skate board. Yup. How cool is that?

Get better Colleen. And get better fast. You have books to write.


Christie Craig said...


I think it would make a great YA story. Go for it! If anyone can do it, you can.

Thanks for stopping in.


Kate Douglas said...

Well...let's see...our neighbor ran into our garbage can that was parked in our driveway and sued us for $2500 damage to a ten year old truck with 250,000 miles on it. Does that count? And no, I'm NOT making this up. We had to go to court where the judge threw the case out, but it was SO frustrating to have to deal with such an idiotic claim! Did I say he is NOT our favorite neighbor?

Anonymous said...

That is absolutely terrible and something I can totally see happening.

I'm trying hard to stick to my resolutions and I have faith that I will.....at least for the next month,lol.

I hope they do find the person who hit the truck, unlikely but as you said miracles do happen, so you never know.

TJ Bennett said...

Christie, so sorry to hear about your son's truck. I know having a truck damaged is just about the only thing that can make a Texas boy cry. :-(

My weird thing that happened was that Christmas vandals hit our street for the second year, slashing open our inflatable decorations out in front of the house. Last year they put all the raindeer lawn decorations in sexually oriented positions (unfortunately breaking some in the process). What a thing for the kids to wake up to Christmas week, huh? Grinches...I hope karma does exist, because they've got it coming.

But at least our truck is safe. :-)


Unknown said...

No weird stuff going on here. I am really sorry to here about your sons truck, thats a bummer.

I went out last winter and found the back window broke out of my car. There was also footprint on the rider's side window up againt the house like they were trying to kick it out too. The weird thing about this was the car was unlocked and if they wanted in it all they would have had to do was open the door.

Ruth said...

Hey Christie,
Does he have uninsured motorist with his liabilty ins. I mean if you can't find the evil doer, maybe he can get the truck fixed under that clause.
But I understand how he feels, a phathom driver caused my daughter to wreck her car when she was in college and unfortunately the cops decided said driver was also driving under the influence.

Anonymous said...

Nothing so exciting here, though while watching a classic car auction over the weekend I saw this 1950-something Caddie. They opened the trunk and I thought, "Man! You could fit half a dozen bodies, or more, in that sucker!"

My best friend said that just proved I was a writer. *g*

Terri Osburn said...

That is a crazy story. The bike switch is weird. Supposedly when I was a kid, someone broke into my grandmother's house and stole money. Then it was found on the porch the next morning with a note that said, "Sorry, wrong house." But I think that's one of those urban legends spread through cousins with no basis in truth.

Nothing crazy during my holiday. Thank goodness. And I bet the culprit who hit your sons truck couldn't possibly confess because they were too drunk to know what they hit. If it was some kid, I imagine he got the beating of his life when his parents found the truck all torn up in the driveway the next morning.

Christie Craig said...


Oh my gawd! Don't you just love neighbors like that?

I'm just glad you got a sensible judge because I've heard of some cases that you wonder about the IQ of the judge who allowed not only allowed the case to take up the court's time, but they won.

Thanks for stopping by.


Christie Craig said...


I'm proud of you for sticking to your goals. I've been pretty good, I haven't started on the exercise program as seriously as I want to, but it's about to start.

Thanks for stopping in. And who knows, maybe the guilty person will be exposed. Probably not, but overall it's the truck that is hurt and not a person so we can handle that.

Hubby even agreed to help the boy fix the truck. So even he is happy now.


Christie Craig said...

Oh TJ,

They stabbed Santa? Karma is gonna get them. Now the raindeer, I confess, I laughed about that. But I know it's not funny.

And you are right. A Texas boy's truck is everything.

Thanks for stopping in.


Christie Craig said...


I'd bet my bra that never even tried to open the car door. They just assumed it was locked.

You know criminals aren't known for their IQs.

Of course, sometimes I think crooks do it just out of meanness. Those are the ones who scare me the most.

Thanks for stopping in.


Christie Craig said...


I'll have to ask my hubby about the insurance. But ugg.

And I swear, I'm all for a glass of wine, even two, but I never get behind a wheel.

Thanks for stopping in.


Christie Craig said...


Your friend is dead-on right. Only writers would jump to the conclusion. Big truck...bodies. You see I make that jump right away, but there are people out there that worry about us.

Thanks for dropping in.


Christie Craig said...


I love your grandma's story. I don't care if it's a legend, I still like it. Can't you see writing something like that in a book?

And I can't help but wonder if some kid had to explain to mama how he wreaked her car. It would serve them right.

Thanks for posting and I'm glad your holidays were calm.


Anna Kathryn Lanier said...

Wow, Christie, so sorry about your son's truck. That really sucks. We've not had anything weird happen this year. But about 6 years ago, DH and I were sitting in the house when we heard what sounded like a freight train going by the house. I stepped out my back door and spied a car on it's side in our yard. Well, not just in our yard, he'd plowed through thrity feet of fence, barrell rolling as he went. The driver, I learned after I was yelling into the darkened car that 911 was on its way, was no longer in the car, but had been thrown out and was under our Wisteria bush, which the car also plowed over.

Now here's the miracle, under the bush are bricks, except for the place where his head hit. There was no brick. Also, we suspect he came out of the car, then had it roll over him, except he was under the bush, which kept him from being crushed. And he landed about 3 feet away from our driveway, on grass instead of concret. He escaped with just bumps and bruises, no broken bones, no internal injuries.

His friends (who were driving along side of him) said he wasn't speeding, but we're not so sure. Our house is just on the outside of a curve, and he missed it. It's the only time someone's hit our property in the 8 years we've lived here, so not a common occurance.

We did get a new fence out of it....

Anna Kathryn

Heather said...

So sorry to hear about your son's truck--that truly sucks. Kind of funny about the bicycle swap across the street, though.

Christie Craig said...

Anna Kathryn,

Wow. I can't imagine seeing the car in my yard.

That must have been pretty scary.

And that man is pretty lucky. I'd say he had someone upstairs looking out for him.

Thanks for sharing.


Christie Craig said...


Wasn't that the totally freaky? It's one thing for someone to steal a bike, but to swap one?

Totally crazy.


catslady said...

Authors are the best at making unhappy circumstances sound funny! My daughter just slid on ice and hit a truck so it's going to cost us a bundle. Everyone was so surprised (from the driver to the insurance companies) that she admitted it was her fault. Hey, I raised her right lol. Last year her car was totaled by a 16 yr. old late for curfew who had her license for one week and was talking on her cell phone. She made them take her away in an ambulance because her lip got cut from the airbags. She lied through her teeth. Lucky for my daughter and her boyfriend they weren't hurt and very lucky that there were lots of witnesses who saw her speed right through the red light. What a hassle and it still ended up costing us a fortune (sigh).

Christie Craig said...


It's laugh or cry at a lot of things in life. I just choose to laugh. People like listening to the stories better, too.

Thanks for stopping in.


Anonymous said...

If you still have those parts that don't belong to your son's truck, maybe you could put out the word that you'd like to return the parts to the owner, see if the person who did this would actually contact you. I know it's a long shot ... but it would be a great story.

Wish your son and all a fantastic 2009!

Mary M

Christie Craig said...

Mary M.

I don't have the parts, but you are so right. That would make a great story. It might even get on that stupid criminals show.

I hate to admit it, but I love that show. Scary thing is that I swear I know some of those people.

Thanks for stopping in today.

Hope you are having a great New Year.