Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Domestic Gods are the Greatest!

By Robin "Red Hot" Kaye

Today, my husband and resident Domestic God made me play hooky. He told me we've both been working way too much and needed a day to ourselves.

I was thinking he'd take my son--Domestic God in Training--on one of his 10-miles hikes. He shook his head, reading my mind (something he does remarkably well). "No," he said, we're going out together. I'm taking the day off and so are you."

I felt his forehead to see if he had a fever. He didn't. Then I looked a him through squinty eyes wondering if I was hallucinating. It's not often two people with three busy teenagers go off gallivanting and spend a day together. I can't remember the last time we did...maybe six years ago.

He took me to Longwood Gardens--one of my favorite places on earth. We drove to Kennett Square, Pennsylvania on this cloudy morning. I asked him if he was sure he wanted to go since the weather report called for rain. He smiled and told me that with any luck, we'll be the only ones there... Sigh. It occurred to me then that my Domestic God makes almost everything in my crazy writer's life more bearable. I thought I'd tell you about how he does just that--well, what I can write about without blushing too much, anyway.

➢ My Domestic God wakes me up every morning with a smile and a cup of coffee. I choose to believe he does this because I’m worth it. He tells me he does it because he loves me—and because of that pesky safety issue. I’m downright scary until after I’ve had my coffee. The man has learned the importance of buying great coffee and has extraordinary coffee-making ability. It’s a gift.

➢ Laundry and cleaning: Before I began writing seriously, my Domestic God did laundry only when he was in fear of having to wear his “emergency spare” pair of underwear—the dreaded Christmas Tigger boxers which, in his estimation, were not only embarrassing, but very uncomfortable. But I digress.

In case you are unaware, cleaning and laundry are my nemesis. As a stay-at-home mom, I did my fair share of both. Okay, I’ll admit, I did as little of my fair share as possible. Still, I did more cleaning and laundry than anyone should be subject to in a lifetime.

When I began working toward publication, my Domestic God sat me down and told me he’d been thinking. He’d decided that writing and taking care of the kids were two full-time jobs. Since he only had one job, it was only fair that he take over the cleaning and laundry. After he revived me from my dead faint, he got very lucky.

➢ Childcare: It’s always been understood my Domestic God either take over childcare responsibilities when he came home from work or he cooked dinner. While sufficient in the kitchen, DG is not the cook that I am. He always took over the changing of diapers, bathing of kids, and telling of bedtime stories while I cooked. He regarded it as his quality time with the kids. I regarded it as my quality time without them. Until the kids were old enough to clean up after dinner, DG usually did the dishes, too, God love him.

➢ My Domestic God is willing to be brave and inconvenienced. He and my son—DG in Training—are called upon to kill bugs and pick up dead critters the cat drags in—even if it means driving home from work to do so. My DG doesn’t understand why I can play with octopi and snakes, deal with any amount of blood or medical procedures, not be bothered by live mice and critters, but totally freak when I come in contact with a dead mouse or squirrel, or worse, a not-quite-dead mouse or squirrel. My Domestic God knows not to tease me about my ick tolerance, and appreciates the opportunity to show his true heroic qualities. My DG in Training has yet to learn either of those finer points.

➢ My Domestic God is handy around the house and with cars. And if he's not able to do whatever needs done, he's willing to pay those who are. I have mentioned that it would be really nice of him to make sure whomever he hired be easy on the eyes--I do so love a man in a tool-belt--but then, my DG has his own tool-belt and can fix pretty much anything. He’s also easy on the eyes, although these eyes wouldn’t mind some variety in dreamy tool-belt-wearing men. Unfortunately, I’ll probably never get to drool over another, but then I don’t have to deal with the guys who aren’t so dreamy and have a penchant for showing off butt cleavage, either.

I'm really lucky that I've had a DG from the moment I said "I do" but I left out the most important way my Domestic God has made this crazy writer's life bearable. He’s been my best friend, my fiercest supporter, my biggest fan, my bullshit meter, and the person with whom I celebrate all my successes and failures. And yes, we celebrate failures. He’s taught me that you learn more from failures than success.

We've always thought of this adventure in publishing as a learning experience. We knew we were going to make a lot of mistakes before we figured it all out--if we ever figure it out. But in the end, I know that whatever happens, my Domestic God will love and support me through it all. That’s the most important quality in a Domestic God.

I've just found out that the first three books in my Domestic Gods series is now available in a bundle on the Kindle! I hope you'll check them out.


Jana DeLeon said...

Robin - this is so weird! I looked at your post and thought "I just saw that plant." A friend of mine from the freelancing world went to the gardens this past Saturday. She's an amateur photographer with a fabulous eye and took a pic like that along with other fabulous ones. Here's a link for anyone that wants to see how beautiful the place is:


I am so glad you got a day off, and especially in such a fabulous place. I would have sneezed myself to death, but it still would have been worth it. :)

Amanda Brice said...

I wanna go! It looks gorgeous.

Congrats on the mini-escape with your Domestic God!

Robin Kaye said...

@ Janna - Zertec is my friend. I have to stay away from one particular tree that makes me wheeze. I know where they are now and I avoid them like the plague. I've been going to Longwood since I lived nearby in High School and College. I'd escape there or the Brandywine River Museum when I had campus-itis. They're having the annual orchid show now which is spectacular but nothing beats their Christmas display.

@Amanda - Thanks, I had a blast!

Mary G said...

Aaaw Bella. Your post made me melt.
What a sweetie you have. Hope you had a fun day.

Robin Kaye said...

Hi Mary!

We had a wonderful day! It's always nice when you get to spend time alone with your husband and you remember why you fell in love with him. It's good for the soul, not to mention the marriage.

Hugs...Robin :)

Mary G said...

You're so right. I work with hubby so we drive together and lunch at the same time. We only have one 21 YO who's not home much (when we're awake anyway LOL). We're still not sick of each other - Thank God.
Still, alone time in the car, I'm reading while he curses other drivers, doesn't count.

JustinBarley said...

So, when it comes to cleaning, these two simple but actually very important tips will help you a lot. However, if you do not want to clean by yourself you can always hire a end of tenancy cleaning company for the job. They will help you to get rid of all the dirt in your house and the best part is that will happen in such a small amount of time.