Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Cheryl Ann Smith's THE SCHOOL FOR BRIDES!!! Leslie Langtry says, READ IT, OR ELSE!

I'm so excited! It is my honor to introduce Cheryl Ann Smith and the premiere of her very first novel, THE SCHOOL FOR BRIDES! The novel, pubbed by Berkeley, is about a daughter of a courtesan who trains other courtesans on how to be proper, marriageable ladies.

Cheryl is the reason I am pubbed. We met at an RWA mixer - and hit it off. At the Dorchester Spotlight, she dragged me up there and made me pitch to Leah Hultenschmidt. I really, really didn't want to, but there's no saying "no" to Cheryl! Anyway, when I did a signing tour of Michigan, Cheryl was right there with the family to show up and support me. This is so awesome!

So, without further adieu, the funny and talented debut of Cheryl Ann Smith!!!

-The Assassin

Terrible Mother of the Year Award

I like to think I’m a decent mother. I don’t buy my kids expensive designer clothes, but they don’t go to school in floodwater-short jeans either. They’re fed and loved and I did choose for them a decent father from the genetic pool; so they are a cute bunch. But, alas, there are times when I really, really, mess up.

I don’t think sending my son to class in pj’s for pj day, on the wrong week, will ruin his life. And I don’t suspect shuttling my daughter off to school when she only has a small tummy ache, only to have her barf on the school bus; will earn me a visit from social services. After all, what child hasn’t barfed on the bus?

The bake sale can manage if I forget to bake cookies, and if I haven’t washed wash jeans in awhile, there must be a pair in the hamper that isn’t that dirty. I am a busy writer and sometimes my children must suffer for my art. I like to believe that occasionally eating fat and preservative-laden TV dinners will only make them stronger grown-ups. And preservative clogged bodies mean that at least at least they (and the cockroaches) will still be standing after the Armageddon.

But there are times when I truly earn my terrible mother of the year award. Those times when I make a joke when not considering my audience, or without remembering that my oldest two children (girls) will take any opportunity that I open up to torment their little brother.

Let’s take our trip to Orland for example. The kids were very excited about making their first trip to Disney. So-far so-good right? Right. However, sadly, I’m never one to leave well enough alone. So, I joked that we couldn’t afford to take them all, so one would have to stay home with the grandparents. The girls eye-rolled and I didn’t think anything more about it. Until my son who was about five at the time, came up to me a few minutes later, tears in his beautiful green eyes, and asked me if it was he (with the assurances of his two delightful sisters) who was going to be left behind.

I assure you, that the guilt of the moment still lingers to this day. After I convinced my beloved (and traumatized) son, most vigorously, that mommy just made a very bad joke, and that we would never leave him behind, he smiled shakily through his sobs, happy to know that I did indeed love him enough to take him to Disney World.

Not my finest Mommy moment.

It’s times like these when I go from terrible mommy of the day, to terrible mommy of the month, year…century. Okay, I think the trophy has a permanent place on my mantle. But I can’t be the only mom whose kids will someday need therapy, am I?


sugarcreekstuff said...

Maybe not terrible mom of the year but the best bad joke teller award.

That cover of your book looks amazing. The story sounds fun. I cant wait to read it! ;)

Terri Osburn said...

I'm giving cover love as well. Beautiful. LOVE that shade of blue.

As a single mom of a pre-teen girl, I'm sure she'll need therapy eventually, but thanks to her, I need it right now. I think that makes us even.

BTW - Mine wore dirty jeans to school today and I did not notice until after we left the house. I can only imagine what her teachers must think of me.

Leslie Langtry said...

Sometimes, I notice too late that my tween is wearing slippers, or the same sweatshirt she's worn for seven days, etc. That's why I drink.

Terri Osburn said...

She wore these jeans to a party Saturday where they had a cake fight. Dried white frosting on black jeans. Nice.

Cheryl Ann Smith said...

Thanks for stopping by and letting me know that other Mom's have issues too! I really dfo love my kids and try to do right by them, but sometimes the laundry does get behind!

Cheryl Ann Smith said...

Thanks sugarcreekstuff. I do like to joke! I tell my kids that they don't have to think I'm funny, as long as I find myself funny!

Anonymous said...

Oooh, I saw that cover in the RWR ad and was drooling.

And actually, I'm the worst mom ever. I realized I'd inadvertantly put a dirty onesie on under my 15-month-old's dress only after I'd dropped her off at daycare. Lovely green paint stains on the sleeves. I'm sure her teachers want to give that award to me. For sure.

Cheryl Ann Smith said...

I do love my cover too! Thanks!

Starr Ambrose said...

Don't worry, Cheryl. Bad mothering imparts survival skills - or so I tell myself.

I can not wait to buy this book!

Beppie Harrison said...

Oh Cheryl. It used to drive me crazy when my mother would say sadly she was a failure as a mother (which inclined me, as a teenager, to yell back, "No, I'm just BAD," but I have been known to whimper the line myself. Okay. So they're all adult, and turned out reasonably. But I always meant to write down all the terrible things I did to them -- figured out it would save a deal of therapist time. Never got around to it.

See? I AM a failure as a mother!


Cheryl Ann Smith said...

I think goof-ups are what make us interesting parents. Who wants to be perfect anyway? That would be too much pressure! We need to sometimes burn dinner or forget to wash jeans. If you set the parenting bar low when they're little, they won't be truly shocked when you mess up later!

Eliza Knight said...

I am so glad you said what you did about the jeans in the hamper! I have 3 daughters, and when my oldest (10yr) informed me she had no jeans, I told her to grab some from the hamper. She was appalled. And so appalled, she told my friend who picked her up that afternoon, that I made her wear dirty clothes to school! I was mortified! The worst though is when I forgot, the same daughter had a half-day and went to costco instead of the bus stop... OOPS! I'm lucky to have nice neighbors, lol -- But I too am super busy! Can't keep anything straight... I live by my planner, and I tell everyone, if you don't write it in there, or I don't write it in there, it is not happening!

Congrats on your release! Sounds fascinating!


Leslie Langtry said...

I believe perfect parents only exist for us to torment.

Cheryl Ann Smith said...

Thanks Eliza!

I have a calendar. I'd forget everything without it!

Genny said...

Definitely not the bad mother of the year award! But if you are going to talk about guilt, how about the guilt a step mother feels???? We are sort of caught between a rock and a hard place some of the time. :( None of us is perfect -How boring that would be :) But, back to the book, LOVE_LOVE- the cover can't wait for the book signing. I know it will do well!

Cheryl Ann Smith said...

Thanks Genny! Come see me at the signing!

Hellie Sinclair said...

*LOL* Oh, I'm feeling it for the poor kid. It's so unfortunate sarcasm doesn't translate well to foreigners and anyone under the age of 9. I hope he loved Disney World. :)

Unknown said...

hi thanks for sharing this